5 things we absolutely HATE about dating a german ... 🙅🏻‍♀️

5 things we absolutely hate about dating a german | problems when dating a german | reasons not to date a german | things to know before dating a german

As much as I love Germans (one in particular) and love the process of dating him, I'm going to be honest here and say that there were times that I found dating a german difficult. Simply because of the cultural differences. 🤓

In this video, we have teamed up with the wonderful Jenna from Life in Germany to talk about the things we both hated when dating a german. At least I am comforted to know that I am not the crazy and sensitive one but there are others that feel the same way too! This is one part of the 2-part series, where we talk about things we actually LOVE about dating a german over on Jenna's channel.

If you’d like to check out the positive side of the picture, where we talked about things we really appreciate about dating a german, then go check it out on Jenna's channel and let us know if you share the same thoughts as us!

You know we mean no harm with this video, it's just for fun and some laughs - so, be kind in the comments 😆

We had so much fun filming this with Jenna and stay tuned for the next video - where the tables turn and I get bashed by Seb....

Until next time!

00:00 - Intro
01:23 - Things we hate #1
03:42 - Things we hate #2
05:43 - Things we hate #3
07:21 - Things we hate #4
10:45 - Things we hate #5

[scutterchrist]

OMGOSH!!!! I have watched both videos on this subject and all I can say is that you guys/gals are SO SPOT ON!!! My partner and I have been dating for close to 3 years now and he is German (AND Italian!!) and EVERYTHING you have said about dating a German is so true in our case. As an American, there have been aspects of dating a German that I have had to get used to. We met online right before the pandemic and talking to someone online can be MUCH different than being there with them face to face. When we first met, it was right at the lock downs started so He had to end up staying here in the states for months (much longer than we had planned) and we got a really good idea, during that time, of each other's differences. - In the other video you guys talked about the "small gestures" for example. That is very true. My partner is not big on the "mushy lovey big gestures" but he's great at doing little things every day to help me. - The brutal honesty was something that was hard for me to get used to and still is sometimes. I'm southern so we tend to be very polite and "gentle". so much!! :o) - Thank you for these videos, they are very true in nature and it does help others if they are planning on dating a German.

[Kosty]

Seb, You are so lucky to have someone like Jess! :)
To put some context: We germans are raised and educated in a way that telling the truth, sticking to facts and not making things up is very important. Also that our opinions and topics are based on facts and evidence, and not made out of thin air and imagination. So if a german puts so much time and effort into showing and proving that he is right he doesn't always want to humiliate the other person. But he wants to show that he is not making things up and that he is not claiming something out of thin air. Because liars, pretenders and fakers are seen as negative in german culture. This and also sticking to principles is often perceived to be more important in german culture than keeping harmony and good relationships. This is also a real problem in germany because family relationships and friendships also can suffer and break apart because of this if its too extreme.

[wintertrine]

Germans carry their opinions on their tip of their tongue. But feelings and intimacy.... buried deep down 😂

[ceer]

As a Canadian I 100% have the same experiences/ideas as Jenna ❤️ Happy to find your channel, I learn alot and absolutely love Germany!

[holger_p]

Being friends means having permission to criticize or to correct somebody. Who else should do it, who shall improve you ?
Actually improving and correcting is the same word in German (verbessern). Other languages distinguish between downgrading and enhancing. Correcting somebody means being polite and helpful. Germans say, you don't let your friends die dumb. You don't keep your mouth shut for the sake of harmony.

[HH-hdnd]

11:40 Both, mother and father, have the same options. That in most cases the mother is staying at home has nothing to do with expectations or something like that, it's just each couples own decision. I know quite a few couples with children and in all but one of those cases the mothers WANTED to stay home to spend more time with their children. That's not Germany or germans being more backwards, that's just individual choices.

[skillorzor]

Hahaha great Video! You can really see how Seb is losing his spirit throughout the Video!
The part about Germans arguing and wanting to be right is soooo true :)

[Nazdreg]

Yeah, complaining seems to be a big thing in Germany. When I worked in Ireland, it was really refreshing to have a little bit more positive "vibe" around me. Strange that we complain so much, yet our customer service seems to be sub par. Maybe they get so many complaints, they just decided to not care anymore...

[webknecht]

The easy principle behind our honesty is: "Don't ask if you can't handle the answer / the truth." Easy.

[j.a.]

I wonder what Jenna's experience would have been if she became a mother in North America. If she still would consider it so equal there I think it is different if you are just dating or if you are also a mother, there are so much more expectations on mothers, and I am sure that's also true for North America. . I am also married to a German and I agree, German dads nowadays do want to stay home as well. The issue is that women are still often those who work jobs that are paid less. So it can be hard to break gender roles here. But I don't think I know any new dad who would not jump at the idea of staying home with the child for a bit if it makes sense financially.

[robertzander]

Good morning guys!
The standard of complaining in Germany is really high, finding a good way to be proud of the things we have and the live we can life is not so easy for us, we have a difficult relationship to words like proud, satisfied and happiness. We try to improve it, but that's a long way.
So it's easier for everyone to complain than be happy.
Germany is after all a very conservative country, the church and political parties like the CDU/CSU have a lot of power in this country and it's was not so easy to decide something against them.
With the emergence of the Greens in the eighties and later with the reunification through the emergence of the party the Left, the political landscape changed and for the better, it became more diverse and things like more rights for woman and the first real rights for children were now possible.
In former West Germany it was never really a topic in the parliament, family yes of course, but very traditional and the husband is the boss.
Meet a woman that was born and raised in the former GDR/DDR she is a lot more independent and she would never let it happen that the man would tell her what to.
Childcare is after thirty years of reunification still much, much better in eastern Germany.
Parents and of course mother's can life there a lot more independent in that case.
I'm glad that Jess didn't give up, find
something positive and interesting that we can see now in your lovely videos.
I think, getting something or someone a little bit to easy is very boring. Reading someone like book is uninteresting and i get easily bored.
If try a little harder for it,
you appreciate it a lot more and then you enjoy it a lot more.
Thanks for that very interesting video.

[gigibenea]

Btw ..in Québec is very different for the rest of Canada ...here in Québec the new mothers have 1 year payed maternity and men have also leave...so more europ

[Gnarkzsch]

About 11:50ish I have a lot of male coworkers who take maternaty leave instead of their wives. I think it just depends on who does earn more or who is more expendable. There are a lot of men who take matenaty leave. It depends a lot on the company, too. Where the HQ is based on.

[vornamenachname]

I think that the complaining is a thing in Germany because unlike other cultures, we don't see it as rude if you "pull down the mood". I also think that Germans won't even be affected so much by other people's complains emotionally. We're kinda used to it. We also have the saying "geteiltes Leid ist halbes Leid" (split/shared suffering is half the suffering) and it basically means that if you share your frustration, you will feel better. For that reason, I often feel that in German culture, it can actually be a little rude to not give somebody the opportunity to share his ideas and his suffering with you. Also, if you cannot stand the negativism of complaining about small things, then how would you do if a Germans opens up to you telling you his real big problems? Sometimes, complaining and seeing how the other person reacts is a good way to see if somebody is empathetic or not.

[depen]

I dont view the Motherhood-Role as a bad thing at all. I love the fact, that I am able to be a mom to my children and actually see them grow up. And I love, that I can truly rely on my husband as the "breadwinner". It actually does make me feel honored and apreciated as a woman and mother, cause thats what I am, I dont feel any less because of it.
I feel 100% equal, maybe even privileged to be cared for, not because I couldnt earn my own money (cause as a teacher I actually could) but because it is worth it to me and my husband to be there for our children as long as they are small. It totally breaks my heart when people have the impression, that a mom, who chooses to care for her children at home is unequal to a fulltime working man.

[tugboat]

It really seems like Jen doesn't want to be the MAIN caretaker of her children. Unless you work part time, someone else is being the "MOTHER' to your children ...no easy way to say it.

[jasminm.]

I danced Tango with my today husband, we are both German but I have been raised abroad all my life (U.S and Asia). That explains it😂

[jessandseb]

Are you dating a German too? Let Jess know if you feel the same too!
Are you a German yourself? Do you do some of these things too? Seb would love some comforting that he‘s not the only one in this situation 🤣
Ultimately, the loves overweigh hates - DUH!

[zanezhel]

Hi Seb, new friend here.. Also have a German boyfriend. They are very direct to the point, they will say what is in their ❤️. I love German people because they will not pretend to like things even though they don't. They also friendly if you are friendly too. Keep Safe and stay connected Seb.

[Skylla]

Thats was fun!
Can you do a video about Singapore History or Singapore Technology?
I am a Blockchain Developer and uff Singapore is kind of the hotspot.
I met so many cool people from there but I have no clue at all and as Sebastion I dont feel well if I have Halbwissen or in this case Nullwissen :'D