When is it okay for Christians to Divorce? | Ask Pastor Mark

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[BiancaAnne]

Love the answer. God cannot be mocked or fooled. The intent of the heart is what matters most.

[kaitlincox]

I prayed for years that my husband would be changed. I kept forgiving his abuse and adultery. I never proved he cheated because he denied it. Yet im so certain he did. I saw messages of him saying he was at a womans house and he couldnt wait to do XYZ with her. He has also been on sites made specifically to have an affair. After 8 years i had to leave. I felt like the life was being drained from me. He always said he was a christian but never bore fruit. He doesnt want to divorce but he truly doesnt care about me. He never has. Im waiting for the Lord to show me what to do but unless He changes him i will not go back. I dont even care about another relationship. I just want Jesus.

[rogerledlow]

“When people want to sin they get very creative“ So true.

[Inspiremotivatecreate]

Through infidelity and neglect of spouse, yes you can. Abuse is not love.

[arnelbismonte]

Pls pray for my spouse to be soften her heart and restore our marriage thank you.

[daltonw]

Wife and I in the same boat. We don't agree on anything anymore and can't stand each other. I cannot remember the last time I experienced some joy in my life outside of my two small children that we share. I have never despised anyone as much as I despise her... And the worst is I have to remain married to her and that cycle makes me despise her even more. I am not proud of it. It's so difficult to overcome... I pray and do my best. She never appreciates anything and she always pushes me over the edge and then says, "gotcha! Some Christian you are!". I have many regrets in my life, but marrying her has been in the top 3 on my list. I feel dead inside, but everyday when I pray and speak to the Lord, I start out with some strength to carry on and try again for the Lord's sake, but then by the end of the day we have both just failed and I am back to square 1... :(

[DanJoymonger]

Ok, so basically I am just going to have to give it to God and do the best I can under my circumstances. I don't want a divorce, even though in the past and in my anger I did say I did. I know I have hurt my wife emotionally and physically due to my hard heart. Even though I was trying to have a relationship with God the whole time. So God, I give my marriage into your hands, please help me be patient and to follow your will.

[James-qlm]

It's interesting to me how most men seem to try to keep their marriage together, and women look for reasons to get divorced. There seems to be a genuine denial of the authority of God in the hearts of men; and in women, a genuine denial of the authority of their husbands. This I see as the core issue that causes most of the trouble in marriage today.

[cjdavidson]

probably the most discerning answer I have heard, rather than the legalistic parroting of scriptures that you often hear from teachers, with no regard for the trauma the rest of the family is sufffering from

[rickv]

To summarize:
What God has put together, no one is allowed to break.

[TiffCorbin]

I’m standing here for what I wish was the first time in my short marriage..scrolling through YouTube and now the Bible as well trying to find a fix for us. Trying to find a way to will myself to try for a little longer, truly feeling in my heart and 100% believing that he doesn’t want me to and thinking all the terrible things that have happened and been happening to me are efforts from him to get me to leave. I don’t understand why I don’t deserve to just be told if that’s what he wants. I don’t know why he’s not in love with me like I am him. Please pray for us.

[dhx]

Good answer. Mark is right to look to the heart instead of attempting to distill a question like "When is it ok to divorce?" into some neat and tidy legal code. Clauses, loopholes, and technicalities are for the Tax Code, not the written Word of God.

When my marriage was in jeopardy and I was ready to walk out, I didn't seek an excuse or justification to get a divorce. I already had all the justification I needed. Instead, I sought to exhaust every reasonable avenue to save the marriage and to make divorce unnecessary. I didn't want to walk away from my marriage and regret it for the rest of my life.

I also made it clear that if there is no way to save my marriage, then I will regretfully dissolve the marriage. If it comes to that, I will recognize no doctrine that claims I am somehow condemned to celibacy for the rest of my life. It is the abuse of divorce and remarriage that Jesus condemned as adultery, not these things per se.

[justinj]

Going through an unbiblical divorce right now. She says, "The Lord released me from the marriage and if I'm wrong, I'll have to answer for it one day".

[angloaust]

Depends upon the circumstances
The state allows it
Even Jesus never condemned
The woman of samaria for
Having five husbands and
The sixth one in the unmarried
State!

[stephaniehernandez_]

You are allowed to divorce for whatever reason however, you must remain unmarried or reconcile to your prodigal spouse. This is my current situation and I have been convicted to leave my spouse but remain unmarried. It is the road less traveled but I know God will give me the strength to endure ❤️

[mikeconley]

Great answer it definitely starts with the Heart because once it gets to that place when u feel u made ur mind up ur heart will help ur mind by pass anything biblical to justify what u want, I been there my self it took me really committing my self to God and him doing a complete overhaul on my heart and mind to stick to his word no matter what 💯🙏💯

[seashell]

I have been struggling so much about this. I actually called your church Pastor Mark, to talk with you or someone which I'd still like to.
You speak truth & that is what most pastors won't say or don't know. A hardened heart is something only God can changed. It's been a rough road. We hurt eachother, our children, our grandchildren & I am in so much pain about this 💔😢

[KrishaL-jpgx]

Jesus says, "What God has joined together, let no man separates."

That is absolute. No qualifier.

[teluvv]

You are 100% right Pastor Mark. The mother of my children took everything in the house with the kids and refused to come back. She ultimately hardened her heart towards me because as you said, she hardened her heart towards God.

[burningheartexotics]

My wife and I are probably going to be getting a divorce. Through years of emotional manipulation. No matter what I tried to repair things but she wouldn’t help. I ended up having feelings with her best friend. She is convinced I cheated on her. Knowing it didn’t get physical, she thinks I emotionally cheated.