7 Things Manipulative People Say

Manipulators are naturals at getting you to question your own sanity or perception of reality (gaslighting). And depending on who it is, it can be tough to spot, especially if the aggressor is among your close friends and family. So to help you be more aware of these behaviors, here are a few common things manipulative people say.

Disclaimer: If you can relate to any of these signs, please do not take this feedback as an attack on your character. This video was meant to be a self-improvement guide for informational purposes. Not everyone is alike, so make your judgments accordingly.

Writer: Joshua Munoz
Script Editor: Isadora Ho
Script Manager: Kelly Soong
Animator: gossekidd (new animator)
YouTube Manager: Cindy Cheong

Music Credit:

References

[Psychgo]

What are other things do manipulative people say that aren't mentioned in this video? As always, thank you for your support and believing in our mission to create awareness on all mental health topics. 🧡

[NOZH]

If you ever think that being a manipulator is cool and badass, don't even think about it. The small amount of satisfaction you get from the result of mangling others emotionally is not worth the amount of regret and self guilt. Just saying for the ones that romanticize being a "baddie"

[jannahnusrat]

▪︎TIMESTAMPS▪︎
1. 0:27 - I'm the one who should be mad at you
2. 1:05 - I seriously dont wanna argue
3. 1:49 - Stop exaggerating everything
4. 2:32 - They're crazy. Listen to me
5. 3:07 - Look you clearly don't understand
6. 3:32 - No you're being delusional
7. 4:07 - Why would i do that? You know I love you
Hope this helps! Xx💖

[khalilahd.]

Oof starting off strong with “the gaslighter” I hate how many times I fell for that 😢

[jbasasa]

Sometimes, I can be manipulative which can be a safe mechanism for hiding from worse things happen. But mostly in still low-but-improvement self esteem but this is still a habit but I wanted to be loved, no matter what in consequences but everyday I learning that I can't get everything I want but that's okay. The whole point of a relationship is being with a open mind and heart so I try to improve that to move forward. Plus to mention, Amanda (your VO) has advancing her game lately so that's nice.

[nickthepick]

The first one using guilt is the hardest, because within a family dynamic, there's no frame of comparison. I am quite familiar with that.

[Alanastephenson]

"What about all the times youve hurt me?" Said my grandmother who was my motherly figure.

[Jdkidstv]

Sometimes it’s sad there’s so many of these people in our lives

[dante]

The challenging part about #1 is.. what if both parties are genuinely somewhat in the wrong? Not all interpersonal conflicts have a definitive good guy and bad guy. I might even say that most do not. I'm not defending gaslighting, I know it's a terrible thing that many of us have fallen victim to, but several conflicts are born from misunderstandings, which if left unclarified can easily lead to both individuals feeling hurt & neglected. It's quite a complicated issue.

[nightwingman]

Between this and ‘signs you are a gaslighter’ its so hard to find out what’s real when it comes to relationships.

[FoxesATrot]

7 Things Manipulative People Say

(1) 0:28 | "I'm the one who should be mad at you."

(2) 1:06 | "I seriously don't want to argue"

(3) 1:48 | "Stop exaggerating everything"

(4) 2:32 | "They're CRAZY. Listen to ME."

(5) 3:07 | "Look, you clearly don't understand"

(6) 3:32 | "No, no, you're being delusional."

(7) 4:08 | "Now.. why would I do that? You know I love you."

[Julian]

I think there are many people who are not intentionally manipulative and who are not aware of how damaging this can be.
I notice that in myself.
Sometimes I express myself wrong and it can end up in saying something manipulative, although I just wanted to say how I feel.
This is so difficult and has ruined my last relationship as I was too scared to say something wrong.

[Laymans_Words]

This again shows how much of a toxic dynamic I had been in. Actually multiple dynamics. It wasn't uncommon for my parents to use at least some of these and it was regular for me and my wife to use these on each other. We were both toxic to each other I was being over controlled by her and always my feelings were undermined because I was the bad guy in the relationship, and I was the one that's the addict, lying and always attempting at foul play. We were BOTH right AND wrong at the same time because neither respected the other ones' boundaries. That is tragic and cost us put marriage altogether.

[WildWildWeasel]

The “you’re delusional” one, right on with one of my friends I used to play Splatoon with.

He’s still around in my circle, but I do notice he loves to make himself look better than me (he plays ranked, I don’t waste my time with it as I’m a part time musician) and I do know for a fact that he enjoys watching me suffer.

[MyLittlePonyTheater]

Manipulation comes in many forms. Since I escaped the main sources of toxicity in my life, my parents, the most common type of toxicity I've personally experienced is people playing the victim.

People who play the victim are incredibly self-centered, and often only help other people to foster trust. They use this trust to build up a following to weaponize against the people they dislike.

They have an incredibly short fuse, and often perceive entirely harmless comments as personal attacks. They then accuse and gaslight the person, and tell an entirely different one-sided story to everyone who wasn't directly involved. They'll edit and delete messages to make themselves look better, and they'll try to control the situation by being emotional and linking harmless comments to sources of their trauma, whether it's real or not.

These kinds of people can cause incredible distress to their community, and are particularly effective online where they can manipulate people to launch attacks against the individuals they feel wronged them with little fear of reprisal. This can result in doxxing, death threats, and the blacklisting of completely innocent individuals by people who are complete strangers with no connection to the original perceived slight.

This kind of manipulation is particularly effective against individuals who have trouble speaking their minds, and against individuals who automatically defend their friends or loved ones without considering the truth of the situation. Once the manipulator has a strong enough hold on their community, they may enforce their power by indirectly threatening their friends with the community they wield. They force themselves into D&D games, youtube videos, streams, gaming events, social gatherings and more by commenting about how wrong it would be to exclude them. If anyone declines to invite them to these such events, the manipulator will weaponize their community against this person and make up various lies and half-truths that paints the innocent individual as a villain.

Look out for the red flags and warning signs listed below. If someone portrays these signs, they might be playing the victim.

*They make an open declaration that they're frequently attacked or harassed by other people with no prompting. They tell a sob story about how other people always attack them, and rarely portray any guilt on their part.

*They're overly emotional, and feel personally attacked by harmless comments not directed towards them.

*They gossip, often telling you about various problems other people have caused for them. They use this to get you to sympathize with them, preparing you to defend them against innocent people they don't like in the future.

*They are incredibly private, and often refuse to let others see their messages for proof of the harm they claim was done to them. Their excuse for this is often shallow, and they often cite past trauma or refuse to talk about why they refuse to screen share in the first place.

*They can't stand a person who disagrees with them, and argue endlessly against viewpoints that don't line up with their own. They declare that this arguing isn't hostile on their part, but hypocritically accuse people arguing back of needlessly attacking them.

*They seem to be at the center of most of the drama within a community. They're personally involved in any upset, and they go out of their way to disproportionately attack and harass those they see as being in the wrong.

There are many more behaviors these people express, so be careful out there. Remember that having this kind of friend is a ticking time bomb - it's never worth it to keep them in your community, as they'll always fracture and split it apart. The only people left as their friends tend to create an echo chamber that amplifies their voice, so joining such a community puts you at a serious risk of being harassed by a large number of people should you disagree with them.

[supermegaawesomeultragal]

As an empath, it is absolutely extremely difficult to know when to put yourself first and shut off your feelings to their's.
It's been almost a full year since I left my narcissistic, manipulative abuser. And I'm still finding myself thinking about the good times and somehow missing them 😔
It just still really hurts to have been used that way, when all I ever wanted for them or did for them, was what was best for them. Never putting myself first, until the day I left. All of it, unappreciated if ever even acknowledged 😥😥😞😞

[vividannt]

I recently had a horrible argument with a friend of mine. The 1st phrase really hit me. I was telling this friend to stop talking about my best friend behind his back and then they got extremely mad and said things like, "you do it too" just to make themselves feel better. I feel so stupid to have actually apologized to that person. But now I realize this stuff is toxic and I'm finally gonna get rid of them.

[thunderblossom]

Thank you for posting this. This seems to be posted when I really needed it. I’m already aware of manipulation going on in my life currently. No, the phrases aren’t specifically being used, but I can feel the manipulation. And it’s getting to the point where I will have hatred for this person and unfortunately another person for a while. Harder when is your parents

[UndercoverTherapist]

Manipulative people are always tough to deal with and they can be so draining! The worst part is that they operate ever so subtly and you might not notice the signs until it has gone full blown. Sad.

[trixkztr]

that last one hits HARDDD! I've been in to many similar cases like that and the end usually goes the same way; personally, love can be expressed in various ways. Some ways might not seem that impactful to certain people and others just believe it's wrong completely. If it's not your way of showing love then explain what works well for you and/or settle for an agreement...gosh..