The fear of Losing Loved Ones - Thanatophobia

In this video Darren Magee discusses the fear of losing loved ones through dying and death. Freud called this Thanatophobia, sometimes referred to as death anxiety or a form of separation anxiety. Today it is considered as a general anxiety.
Discussing some of the anxiety symptoms, including avoidant behaviours, causes of the anxiety such as codependancy and the fear of the grief and loss.

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#thanatophobia #deathanxiety #anxiety

[DarrenFMagee]

The videos I make are topics suggested by you the viewer. Feel free to suggest any mental health or psychology subjects you'd like me to cover in future videos. Just a reminder though, these videos are not a substitute for support from a mental health professional.

[AsherTheFemboy]

I dont fear myself dying i fear losing my loved ones and it breaks my heart tbh i cant sleep i cant even think right

[rileybergin]

I feel it's ridiculous that I experience such anxiety about something that hasn't happened yet. It's like grieving so far in advance...but I find it so hard to ignore...My therapist advised just trying to ground myself in the present...which was kind of my thinking too...but not really helpful...

To hear it put into words exactly what I'm anxious about: losing the connection...is oddly cathartic. Thank you.

[onliner]

As a kid I hated the thought of my parents or family dying. I remember my dad holding me, telling me he intended to see me become an adult before he died. I remember holding onto him tighter, just crying. I remember sticking close to my mom and dad, fearing they might get hurt.

It feels so unreal now. My dad died early last year and he didn't get to see me be an adult. He didn't get to see me be a better person. I can't help but be even more closer to my mom. I talk to her lots and even if we're not talking I'll still sit or stand near her. I'm gonna bring it up to my therapist and hopefully it goes well🤙

[lesegomoncho]

I'm in fear everyday it scares me so much.

[theonionqueen]

I feel this crushing fear of suddenly losing my mom. I have anxiety, so I’m used to sudden, intense intrusive thoughts and fears, but the fear of losing a loved one is so overpowering some times, all I can do is break down and cry.

[fossi]

When I think of my wife dying before me it scares me so much. I don't want to suffer like that. I don't want to be alone. I don't want the curse of living by myself and having no one.

[mari]

I had a panic attack yesterday from the thought of my sister dying...took me a good 5 minutes to get off the ground

[tamta]

I lost my 22 year old son and now everyone in my life is so vulnerable. I know that death is a part of every person‘s walk in this life. I am terrified of the grief I’m going to experience when I lose my parents, because losing my son ripped a hole in the core of my being. I don’t know how to get past the anxiety and stop thinking about the future that is inevitable. I tell myself I got through the loss of my son so I will get through the loss of my parents. Every time I get near them, I find myself filled with anxiety and panic and I don’t know how to make it stop. My logical mind tells me one thing but emotionally I’m responding Out of sheer anxiety. I don’t know what to do.

[CatsArePeopleToo]

The only thing I fear about myself dying, is HOW it will happen. But the thought of losing my kids is something unthinkable to me. I don't feel I'd survive that.

[aguy]

I lost my best friend. I will never be the same, and I'm terrified of losing more people as I get older.

[clairex]

I have been having panic attacks for a while now but my latest one changed my everyday life. I sudden had the fear of dying and my family dying. I haven't slept properly. I wake up thinking about it and I go to sleep thinking about it, and it worsens my anxiety too. Videos would be recommended to me where people and children share their journeys and finding out about their diagnoses. I end up breaking down everytime. The physical effects of anxiety has gotten worse and I tend to attribute everything sensation I feel to cancer, etc.

I'm mentally and physically exhausted. I used to think about death and never fazed me because it is unavoidable for me and everyone else. But seriously.. This is all too sudden and overwhelming for me. I'm tired.

I've been intermittent fasting since the start of the year. I've lost weight but I overthink that maybe I am losing weight due to some unknown illness I may have. This is the weirdest thing, I look at myself in the mirror instead of feeling proud of myself, I feel dread.

[oneandonly]

I feel like I have PTSD from loss. When I was younger, at 18, my first love was killed by an accidental gun shot by his cousin and I was already very traumatized by that and then 17 years later my little sister was murdered by her guy friend and since then I have an overwhelming fear of something happening to my grown children when they are far from me. When they were little I didn’t let them out of my sight and now that they are grown I feel I cannot protect them the same. My 2 sons are 24 and 19 and when they leave town or get closely involved with new people I feel very worried and at times have felt like I am or could have an anxiety attack. I searched this topic because I feel like I need to get a handle on it. I don’t want my fear to keep my kids from fulfilling their wants and destinies. My 19 year old is in to making music and has been offered an opportunity to go to California for 2 months to work on music and now that the date for him to leave is in 2 weeks, I feel like I’m spiraling. At moments I’m overcome with worry and I hate it. I dread the dread. I have an unhealthy level of worry and it’s physically draining. I put myself through the craziest thoughts and scenarios in my head. I don’t want them being hurt or meeting someone who will lead them into harm etc.. Im sorry this is so long I just need to vent and want help to deal with it .

[whitsashlee]

Thank you for bringing clarity to what I thought was just me, and what I am currently going through. And thank you for providing solutions!

[outpost]

I am suffering with this type of fear right now, I look after my Mother who lives alone, I already lost my Dad to suicide when I was just a baby. Growing up I was terrified of losing Mum and would ring Mum every morning when I got to work, I don't think Mum understood but never once criticised me. Here I am today petrified of life without my dear Mum. She says I am to stop worrying and that she has many more years ahead of her.

[priyavk]

My mother passed away while she slept
Since 2015 I have this fear of losing parents and loved ones
By 2021 our house helper died while sleeping
After that my fear level increased
I couldn't sleep
Even today I am checking my father whether he is breathing or not
He is sleeping
But still I can't handle this fear sir
It kills my mental health
I couldn't accept this pain 😭

[Samstar]

I’m so afraid of losing my grandma. I try to prepare myself but each time she does a cough or hear her get more and more anxious, it makes me anxious as well. She does annoy me but I have my faults and I don’t want to lose her regardless of how she acts. My grandma as of now has been a wonderful woman who gave a lot to her friends, family, and to her community. I see her as a saint, always praying and always providing wisdom and care to us family members and to strangers too. I don’t want her to go, despite her being 94. I feel selfish and a jerk for ignoring her tedious cries for adjusting something or whenever I am asleep and she wakes me up by calling because she gets anxious of moving. She’s sacrificed a lot and I respect her but I didn’t feel like I could respect her as much as she deserves it. I pray for her well-being, both in mind and body. I hope for the best and typing my feelings out helped me appreciate my grandmother. She’s a strong woman and I wish she would not be in pain, but enjoying her age. I don’t always fear losing loved ones but it becomes an intrusive thought. I cannot feel comfort in loss of family, these are people that I see daily and the imbalance of a person can hurt me a lot. I wish for the best.

[josmk]

My family has no serious health problems, I should be thankful. But I still feel the fear of losing them, especially my mother

[sunshine-cinb]

I feel you have made a really interesting link between thanatophobia and codependency that I had previously not considered. Loving your videos...your accent and delivery really helps. Thank you.

[M_K_M_K_M_K]

Thank you so much! I have been dealing with this in regards to my parents ever since I was a child. I think it goes further and also involves fears I have about any kind of discomfort, judgement or pain they might experience. I feel overprotective of my own parents, and it really is exhausting me. My therapist mentioned it is like I still have an attachment to my parents like a child has... Which is probably true, but it is hard for me to fully understand that concept... Could you ever make a video about what this means, and maybe what we can do about it?