002 - 5 Signs Your Boss is a BULLY (Understanding Coercive Control in the Workplace)

In this video, I cover five signs and traits to look out for in a bullying boss or coworker using coercive control tactics.

These include:

1. MICROMANAGEMENT - Coercive managers often excessively monitor and control every aspect of their employees' work
2. GASLIGHTING - Perpetrators may deny or distort the reality of situations, causing victims to question their own perceptions and judgment.
3. ISOLATION: Coercive individuals may attempt to isolate their victims to establish complete dominance over them.
4. THREATS AND INTIMIDATION - Veiled or explicit threats to job security, promotions, or reputation are used to manipulate employees into compliance.
5. UNPREDICTABLE BEHAVIOUR - Perpetrators may flip between being charming and intimidating, creating a sense of fear and uncertainty.

In this video, I also discuss the Duluth Power and Control Wheel. Adapted from the DA model, this simple but effective tool will help you establish if bullying and intimidation are occurring in the workplace. It helps in establishing facts over feelings, which can be incredibly helpful when understanding coercive control and bullying.

I also provide simple but effective tools for managing bullying and coercive control both from an individual and an organisational standpoint.

COVERED IN THIS VIDEO:

01:57 - Understanding Coercive Control
02:43 - Signs of Coercive Control
02:58 - Micromanagement
03:14 - Gaslighting
03:29 - Isolation
03:42 - Threats & Intimidation
03:58 - Unpredictable Behaviour
05:00 - Duluth Power & Control Wheel/Model
07:33 - Consequences
07:48 - Psychological & Emotional Stress
08:05 - Reduced Creativity & Productivity
08:16 - High Turnover
08:29 - Erosion of Company Culture
08:43 - Combating Coercive Control (Individuals)
08:49 - Education Yourself
09:38 - Document Incidents
10:17 - Support
10:44 - Speak to a Supervisor/HR
11:49 - Consult Legal Resources
13:02 - Combating Coercive Control (Organisations)
13:19 - Education & Awareness
13:33 - Policies
13:50 - Safe Reporting
14:11 - Training
14:34 - Supportive Culture
14:49 - Conclusion
15:38 - What Next?

#coercivecontrol #toxicboss #toxicworkplace #toxicworkenvironment #narcissism #narcissist #narcissisticsupply

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[jimspencer]

Another video says leave and get another job. I agree with that, talking this over hardly achieves a positive outcome, its usually embedded in the company

[monarchmark]

10 years ago I walked away from a very hostile job environment and Emailed my resignation. 3 weeks later a tornado destroyed the building.

[janberger]

As I look back on bad bosses, one toxic job interview comes to mind. I was an attractive 25 year old and was told the employer (son of the business owner) was VERY busy and needed to meet over dinner. The "job interview" consisted of the manager literally talking about himself for 2 solid hours and not asking me any job interview questions. It felt so bizzare, but I took the job anyway. Working at their company was the longest and most painful 11 months of my life. He and his family eventually ran their business into the ground and went bankrupt within 5 years.

[leonarddesdunes-pdny]

AMEN FOR THIS VIDEO THANK YOU . I AM FOREVER THANKFUL

[iconicintuitive]

I'm going through this EVERYWHERE I decide to go work and EVEFRYWHERE I am online! It's been going on for 3 years and it seems to involve fusion centers and a church ...there's HUGE discrimination over my work and its very PERSONAL.

[shortcrypto]

Document everything suspicious, look for another job, try to job transfer internally, go to HR, use FMLA, use all your vacations. Those are the steps you can take. Good luck!

[kino]

How do we screen these toxic managers during the interview process to pick up on red flags before we get into the job itself? What questions can we come prepared with? The common job interview question I hear many suggesting is asking them what is their management style, but this hasn’t worked for me as they straight up lie to cover for their bad behavior.

[RachelC.]

I have experienced this. It feels so confusing, especially in a "christian" environment when your leaders are "pastors" and then when you are free of them, you can see things clearly. It is difficult when they put others in their same frame of thinking. I believe this is the equivalent to modern day witch hunts. You can't win.

[Jo-razz]

I had a boss harass threaten me and even put me in a unsafe work environment where I did get injured.
She wasn't even my boss. She was the owner's right-hand woman. I cleaned and did some data and entry the lowest position. She could have never talk to me or never even seen me and that would have been fine. I was doing an excellent job too. Each time I would get praise she would get even more angrier and step up her game and harassing me. She watched me all day on the security cameras. I asked is she okay? I was told that sister personality. What event was it seemed that she was concentrating on me more than her work. I never met this woman in my life before. I was not a threat to her.
The only thing I heard was she was so controlling that most of her family didn't talk to her. She would lie to work or saying that I said I didn't like them. She would call help from me. A project where they would give me five people to help me. The weirdest part was, purposely try to sleep in my hand in the door. I told my boss. He would just say don't worry about it. Then it's just escalated to where it was making my life a living hell. I was recording and collecting anything in writing. She was getting sloppy. Because no one was putting a stop to it. Call her telling someone she wanted me to quit, she didn't want me to get fired because then I would get unemployment. The thing is I was an excellent employee. It's just that I cleaned, make sure everyone had supplies and data entry. So if I didn't show up one day the company still continue as usual. I just couldn't figure out why?? Even when she went to Hawaii she still was watching me on the security cameras.
1020 and my boss at the end would avoid me. Finally I got a meeting with them, they witnessed some of it themselves and the rest I had evidence. I made sure I did not go in there with just heat she said and I said kind of stuff. I kept pressuring him what is going on. Then he said I don't want to lose my business. I can't afford it. I knew that wasn't about me. A week later I told him you're going to have to fire me I'm not quitting. He did fire me because she said that I would have to work one day on the weekend because she didn't even want to see my face.
Literally for no reason at all. She said one time but she thought I was a mole.
She knew I was friendly with the owner's wife. She would hate to see me talking to the owner and making him laugh. I didn't sue, because the lawyer said I would also have to sue the owner. He has two grown adult autistic children, who who will always need help through life. I couldn't live with myself if I was a reason why he lost his business. It had to be something mentally wrong with her. I don't know. I have permanent nerve damage in one soldier from her.
Besides trying to slam the door on my hand. One time she was screaming at me so hard her veins were popping out of her head and I got scared cuz she never had a pair of scissors off the desk towards me. Should we do this only if we were by ourselves. I should have quit a long time ago but I was stubborn because she wanted me to quit and I wasn't going to.

[tuulivihko]

Throwing things at subordinates! Geez, I thought shouting was a lot.😳

[christianbenn]

5 red flags you should watch out for at any workplace