A Warning to Hopeless Romantics

This is a story of boy meets girl, but it doesn't end like your average rom-com. In fact, it's a cautionary tale. Let's dive into what makes 500 Days of Summer so good and just why it's lead protagonist has so much trouble finding true love.

[Renzy_YT]

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[iNoodls]

I'd argue that the ending of the movie was Tom not falling into the same pitfalls as he did with Summer. We can see Tom has actively improved himself and is now pursuing something he is actually passionate about through taking his portfolios to different architecture firms. He is also not as reactive to rejection as we can see him just nonchalantly crossing names of architectural firms he applied to off a list and moving on to the next one. With Autumn too he makes his intentions loud and clear unlike with Summer where he just played along as a friend but secretly wanting something more. He asks Autumn on a date, not a hangout or whatever, and when she rejects him initially, he takes it in stride and does not tie his emotional wellbeing to that rejection in the slightest.

[shift-fast]

as someone who already learned the lesson behind 500 days of summer, watching the movie was extremely agonizing

[yveswolfgang]

the fact that there isn't a sequel makes me hopeful that tom learned his lesson

[VinlandicSoul]

Damn. That rose coloured glasses quote was really poetic. And really down to earth.

[pooscifer]

You *could* interpret this as an immature anxiously attached person maturing or as a traumatized avoidant from a broken home traumatizing some other guy into avoidant behaviour too.

[homonovusdmn]

man, i am in my delulu phase and this video just made me snap out of it 😂

[mashpotatosauce]

Neither of them were really bad people, they just weren’t really compatible. I dislike how much we vilify Tom without taking note on how Summer knew his views on love and continued to flirt and interact with him “romantically”. They both thought they could change each other and couldn’t, there is no bad guy in this story.

[MegaTech]

I'm not sure if I agree with your cynical view on the ending. The final act of the movie goes to great lengths to show that tom is breaking out of the hopeless romantic cycle. He finds the motivation to pursue the things he loves and no longer subscribes to "the one" narrative that he's believed for so long. In fact, him cutting off the narrator mid-sentence is a straight reference that he's no longer following the narrative that romance movies follow.

[Tgogators]

I was just like Tom around his age. First year of college, I started hitting it off with this girl. At the end of our great first date, she said "I like you too, but I'm not sure if I'm ready to date yet." I shrugged it off and said something like: Sure, we can take it slow. Just like Tom, my energy was we were in pursuit of a dating relationship, and we had happy moments & sort of acted like BF/GF, but before too long she began to distance herself. She began talking about another guy. I was overwhelmingly heartbroken. I didn't retaliate; I just let it fade into the abyss. I think she felt a bit guilty about it, she checked in on me a few times (over social media), and when we saw each other in-person we had a polite embrace. Live & learn, I now see that she took me at my word, and was following my lead for a time because it was presumably what I wanted with what she said in mind. No hard feelings, I hope she's happy & healthy.
This movie was an ode to a young person's first heart break.

[spacelinx]

This story is very similar to a hard life lesson I learned while in college. This one girl I was vibing with in the beginning ghosted me. It threw me into an absolute mental breakdown over her. In the meantime, there was another woman at my same college who I worked with that seemed into me, but I wasn't sure how I felt about her. I went through that whole semester so blinded by my mental breakdown I missed what could've been there between me and that other coworker. She eventually quit to better manage her own college coursework and career prepping, but getting her number to see what was there was a total afterthought til it was too late. Let this be a lesson: don't let people who aren't into you blind you from whoever else is out there that could be a better person for you.

[sidlazzar]

I seen this when I was 16. And like Tom I misinterpreted it as a romance movie. Not till I really watched it as a young adult did everything really hit and click. And like him I fell for my best friend and seen everything we did as romantic. At 29 I’m finally truly working on myself more than “romantic” relationships. School, happiness, new hobbies. Perfect time to see this. Great analysis vids btw! New sub here. Cheers ✨

[TheTifier]

This movie does an excellent job at highlighting an important point most romance movies never highlight on; sometimes, the only thing preventing us from experiencing true love is actually ourselves.

[darkpenink]

When it ends in happiness n success > Love story made in heaven
When it ends in pain and sadness > Hopeless Romanticism
Be respectful, compassionate, confident, honest and have self respect and then let the ship sail on its own..
In either of the cases, you will become a better person.

[perfection.itself.]

As a hopeless romantic, those movies were made for me and is so sad that i can't live what happens in the movies

[RealTalkWithSSG]

I loved their conversation on the park bench, when she says, I just knew, and then he asks what, to which she replies, "What I was never sure of with you". Sometimes people without realising, falls in love with the idea of a person, and not the person themselves. That's when the conflict happens, when the fantasy of them in their head, doesn't match with the reality. That's what happened to Tom. He literally wanted to coax Summer into thie perfect partner, but Summer was just herself. Brilliant film.

Off topic, I also feel that Jack dawson from Titanic had this same manic pixie dream boy energy; he met Rose, they spent a great couple days, then he died, leaving her with a life lesson, and character development that led her to have a very eventful and great life, which would never be possible had Jack lived and she became a destitute artist's wife.

[strongest]

Tom was a delusional person, like every hopeless romantic one was, but summer was not innocent in all this. She gave a lot of mix signals. It was not only about "i don't want something serious". At one point in the movie she goes back to tom after she left him, that could confuse anyone. Also the idea that you can have intimate physical relationships with someone and not gain feelings for that person is quite naive and disregarding for her part. I know it is not Toms case because he already made a film in his head about her from the first time he saw her, but i point this out because in all the analysis i watched about this movie, it is always toms fault about everything and that could not be further from the truth.

[CrocusSeal]

I feel like those of us born around 1990 got so screwed with the media we grew up with as teenagers. This hopeless romanticism was everywhere in the 2000s . I'm glad the generation after us is roasting the crap out of it bring us all back down to earth. I'm still trying to unwind my fantasy from my real life expectations of relationships in my 30s. It's a work in progress

[nathanbartholomew]

See it's funny how you can watch a movie twice at different points in your life and feel two different ways about it. When I watched it for the first time a couple years back which was right after I was done with a relationship I felt like I was tom, hopeless romantic that felt like true love could spark at any moment and I could live happily ever after with that certain someone. Now a couple years later and I think I feel like summer, not putting pressure on situations and enjoying the opportunities when it comes my way. Kind of nice to look back at it and see how much I have grown as a person from where I was the first time I watched it.

[jessepinkman]

This movie hit home, as someone that wants to find their life partner I relate to Tom a lot. Except my summer told me she wanted to be with me and have a life with me and then she chose an abuser over me but hey I’m doing the best I can day by day.