Getting a Diagnosis as a Woman on the Autism Spectrum, with Becca Lory | EDB 58

In this episode, Harold Reitman, M.D. speaks with Becca Lory, director of development for GRASP (Global & Regional Asperger Syndrome Partnership). Becca is a great neurodiversity advocate, and tells the story of her journey, from struggling in school and work, to dealing with severe depression, to an initial misdiagnosis of schizophrenia, to finally receiving a diagnosis of Asperger’s at the age of 35. Decca also discusses the unique challenges women have to receive an autism diagnosis.

To learn more about GRASP:

And look for Becca on Facebook:

This video is owned by Different Brains Inc, kindly donated by it's original producer PCE Media LLC.

[Renilou]

Imagine turning 65 and discover that this totally explains the way my brain works. Why I was always so misunderstood and different. The odd ball! A teacher in grade school tried to convince my mom I was retarded. But in high school I was found to have a high IQ and was always reprimanded for not working to my potential in math. So I was getting low grades in it. But I tried so hard that I would go into tears of frustration and give up. Every little sound in the room would drive me up the wall. I rarely got a joke. I'm flat out too blunt. But in a good book, or just daydreaming I would disappear into another world and not hear or have awareness of anything. I would do this all the time every day. I would be in my other world. I would slip off and not even be aware that I did until I come back to my surroundings. I excelled in any thing I loved and would get obsessed with it. I love science and quantum physics. But at the same time have a very strong 6th sense that got me through life. I'm 65 and do not need a diagnosis for validation. It's too late for that in my life. As much as I hate labels, being put into a box or category, it helps to know I'm not so stupid after all.

[annieso]

Thank you. I am an 82 year old female. I diagnosed myself two yrs ago. What a boon! I am finally free!

[denisephil]

I found by mistake 2 years ago...stumbled across some article about being in the spectrum and that was the moment I finally could understand what was "wrong" with me, since then read a lot, I have no money for therapy or counseling...so reading about had help me a lot, but is difficult, specially at work...I had quit many jobs and I move from apartments 60 times in 20 years and 3 countries...but now working on myself and going 1 step at the time.

[alternativetentacles]

My reading level has always been advanced since my father purchased a Hooked on Phonics curriculum that I could make my special interest for a while. It had tapes I could rewind and replay at my own pace. I think my confidence in my own language skills kept me in a bubble throughout my education. I’m logical and had enough traumatic childhood experiences to explain my issues with anxiety and other ASD criteria to make me think I was still “normal.” It wasn’t until I crashed after doing everything I was supposed to do (get an education, get married, have kids) and realizing I was finding it difficult to keep up for the third time in my life. About every 10 years I seem to crash HARD. I had stacked my plates too high and needed to finally go down the rabbit hole of self diagnosis to save my life. I was very happy to find something that finally explained my quiet lifelong struggle. Most importantly it was a breakthrough to even admit I was struggling. I was raised in a “life is hard so you have to be tougher” household. A trip to the ER when I was 15 for a suicide attempt was treated as a minor lapse in proper behavior. So I guess I did take on some sociopathic coping skills to “recover” and keep on living even though I felt overwhelmed. I feel optimistic now that I have access to the right resources to help myself.

[katiemarie]

After a long time fighting for it. I was finally diagnosed 3 years ago by a psychologist, at the age of 30

[natalierizzo]

32 years old - still working on it. After being misdiagnosed with every mental disorder under the sun since I was 15 yrs old. It’s so tough because it feels like not only do you have to figure out what’s wrong with us on our own then we have to persevere through the long road of asserting it to unbelievers. It feels like your always constantly defending yourself, which is not easy for someone with ASD!! It feels like everyone thinks your making excuses - so instead of identifying and facing the benefits & challenges of aspergers - it always feels much easier to hide it and mimic the world. Problem is the hiding and mimicking is unsustainable and unfulfilling. And then we end up in our beds in 3 years. I totally relate to everything in your story !!

[SargenSmee]

Becca mentioned a few things that rang a bell. The job with the crash and burn cycle. Not as quick as Becca's but I see the signs. Another was the bar tender job reasons. I too can enjoy serving customers knowing that I don't have to go into a deep conversation with them. I listen to their request, serve them and say goodbye. I need to find out if I am on this spectrum. I'm 52 and something is not right with me.

[Hadassah-KaquoliMReno]

I’ve been miss diagnosed for years, I’m 69 now and I know I have Asperger syndrome.

[JDMimeTHEFIRST]

This sounds very familiar. I was diagnosed at 35 after a lifetime of suicidal ideation, waiting for people to suddenly understand me (they never did), and not being perceived correctly by anyone. I wish there were more of us to be friends with. I’ve given up on making friends with neurotypical women (I end up getting bullied and excluded in some kind of Stepford wife / mean girls thing they do).

[christinacarophd]

What a wonderful interview. I did not understand I was Aspi until I was 45 and that is after interning with 6 clinical supervisors in my clinical psychology PhD program. This is a great podcast. I love teaching my clients about neuro-diversity.

[LisaCaseyComedy]

She’s so intelligent and articulate, it’s horrible that autistic people don’t fit in. They’re amazing, I’m starting my journey to find out if I have it tomorrow with a psychologist

[SweetTeaElle]

Your story sounds similar to mine. I am 48. I misdiagnosed myself six months ago, with Borderline Personality Disorder, then Avoidant Personality Disorder. My 21 year old son was diagnosed PDD-nod as a child. I can see now that my dad was ASD traits.

[daisygirl]

I think it varies, especially with depending on your childhood life, (mine was highly abusive in all areas of abuse by both parents). I currently live with a few learning disabilities and did extremely poor in high school, for I could barely read and I just didn't care. I had too much stress as a kid to be able to focus on school. Once I started to attend a community college in my 30's, I had to work my butt off with studying constantly because my brain has to read things over and over again before I can retain the information. I also freeze up with exams due to extreme anxiety and aggravation towards my fellow students who are making noises which make it difficult for me to focus while in class, (e.g. tapping a pencil on the desk) yet somehow I accomplished graduating with honors and 2 AA degrees. During my time there I did get tested for brain disabilities because I wanted to be able to take my tests alone and not timed, (for that's when the real anxiety kicks in for me) and because I had just found out with a separate reading test, that I have a reading level of a 6th grader, (this was confirmed with a reading exam I took to be a tutor in English). How I received in A in College English is something I still have yet to understand. After a series of numerous tests with the college's psychologist he informed me that I lacked basic knowledge, but yet had indications of also being a genius, this for sure took me by surprise and also made it so that I disqualify on being able to test without being timed. I even had my physics professor also call me a genius while taking his class, I'll never forget what he said. He said, 'there is a difference between smart, (as he looked at the smartest guy in the class) and being a genius, (looking at me) when you put the two together, magnificent things happen'. There was also a time when I had to drop out of my Trig class due to an injury. The professor allowed me to take an incomplete so that I could make it up at a later time. I ended up having to learn Trig all by myself, for he was not teaching it the next semester. Since I am slightly dyslexic I am not the greatest at math; especially algebra for I switch numbers and letters around without knowing I am doing it. My test scores for the Trig class I made up ranged mostly as C's but when it came time to take the final my head was clear, I felt no anxiety, and I felt good being able to take the final exam in an enclosed room with no distractions. When it was time for my test results I found out I got an A! Even my Trig professor was amazed and asked me how I pulled it off. All I stated back was, 'persistent perseverance momentum', I knew he would get a kick out of that answer seeing he was also a physics professor. I have many facets to the knowledge and skills that I carry. For starters I am an artist, I once was stockbroker, (at age 24) I was a behavior therapist for autistic kids, (which I am completely drawn to for some reason), I sing, I raised two boys all by myself, I run two business's and I am now an accountant, (unfortunately for I want to be an Environmentalist which is what one of my AA degree is in). I do believe that I have both BPD and high-functioning autism, but have yet to know that for sure for I only just found out recently of my diagnosis with BPD. I also feel that not many therapists know about the possible connection between BPD and autism. Tomorrow I have an appointment with my psychiatrist and I plan to find out just how much she knows about this. If this is something I do have, then I want to know about it.

[olderandwiser]

Wow! I can SO relate to that desperately negative self-talk. It's absolutely brutal.
The aha moment is liberation.

[inezryan]

I can relate this story. I've never been diagnosed, but this sounds very similar to my experience.

[rengsn]

She gets people drunk to avoid socializing...genius! Hahah

[SarahDale]

I'd like to know more about the change of diet.

[sashasasha]

I am crying right now listening her... My story so similar...

[bobbilynngibson]

Thank you!!! Your experience of recognizing aspergers in yourself matches my own. I soooo cried through this because your extreme senses match my own and I had thought everyone had such extreme sensitivity and felt confused why people or NTs dont seem to understand it. Now I understand it's an Aspie thing. My app for diagnosis is in July. Looking forward to it. Thank you for sharing your experience.

[estherpagan]

My name is Esther Marie Pagan. I have felt something was different about me. I am now 62 years young. I have always struggled with math. In fact I have Dyscalculia (transference of numbers). I did not know what that meant until I got neurologically tested with audio and visual cognitive learning disability, severe test anxiety and Dyscalculia. I still did not know what that all meant. I could never have a relationship with numbers (life is a number). I did not do well with direction or instruction because I saw and ingested things that other people do not pick up on. I was a creative learner because I had to teach myself with the tools that I excelled with. My imagination, creativity and patience with my intelligence which saved me. I am a NYL massage therapist, mixed media artist, poet and writer. My hands are my livelihood. I have excelled in my own world, but the outside world does not understand my way of thinking. It gets very lonely. I am happy that I understand myself and how I process life. Please continue to educate the masses. Continue to grow our support system, and continue to be empathetic to our needs. I thank you and would love to collaborate my experience to educate others.