Girlfriend Wrongly Accusing Me Of Hiding My Salary From My Co-worker r/Relationships

Relationship Reddit Stories, OP's girlfriend accuses him of intentionally keeping his salary a secret from his female co-worker who has been at the company for longer than him and makes less money.

00:00 Introduction
00:05 Story 1
02:07 Comments
04:28 Update
06:32 Comments
08:52 Story 2
11:30 Comments
15:04 Update
19:55 Comments

#redditupdate #redditrelationship #redditstories

[taylorslade]

Story 1: Here in America, discussing your salary is a FEDERALLY PROTECTED RIGHT. If your employer retaliates against you for discussing your salary, contact your local labor board.

[CasuallyBear]

Its actually illegal in the US for an employer to retaliate or take any action against an employee who discusses THEIR salary with another employee. (There are specific exceptions for people who know others salaries as part of their role, such as HR or management. They cannot discuss what someone else makes with someone else.)

Corporate propaganda has made us think its socially uncouth to talk about salaries. It is not. I actively remind people of the National Labor Relations Act of 1935.

[theconfusedvampire]

S2: Every American bone in my body wants to sarcastically reply to those people with that mean girls quote.

[thesamuraiman]

10:52 >Mom makes stereotypical comments, but can't take a funny joke?
>Finance raises his voice and becomes dismissive?

Family is flying some red flags.

[QCoraA]

As a woman, speaking from experience with my current job, anyone who is a man who gets hired for the same job im doing tends to get paid more. Meanwhile the young lady who was hired to help in my position and ended up having to help in the office as well (so she essentially had two jobs) was getting paid less than me. It happens here and has happened in previous jobs as well. This is not confirmation bias, it is a lived experience for a large part of the population and anyone who denies it willfully has their head in the sand.

Im one of the lucky ones who was able to ask for a raise and get it without any repercussions.

[LePhantome]

all I can think about for Story 2 is 'Oh my god Karen, you can't just ask people why they're WHITE.' XD seriously tho, I'll admit as an American I'm not super up-to-date with the ongoings of the world, but even I'm aware of some of the apartheid shit that's gone on in South Africa. I would also, at the absolute least of it, give shit a google or browse on Reddit if I was about to meet a future In-Law from a completely different country and/or culture. it's not even that hard, like WTAF

also, good on OP for walking out of there and not giving a third chance, we love to see it!

[SLTheOneAndAwesome]

Story 1: Hahahahhaha screw OP.
At my last job, I found out that I was being paid less than the new hire *I was managing and training*.
The first thing people ask when I talk about it? "He was a man, wasn't he?"
When I complained, the company gave bs excuses for why they allowed that to happen and raised my salary just enough to make more than my subordinate.
Went and found another company willing to pay me nearly double for less work, and my VP was pissed because he wanted to groom me to replace my manager and he realized the whole team was going to collapse without me.
Hope saving on that management program and salary was worth it for them. 💅

[AnnieAnnieBuckwheatCakes]

Story about the South African lady: as soon as the BF demanded she apologize to the ignorant hypocrites, she should've ended the relationship. When you marry someone, the family is an add-on. Even if the partner is a winner, if the extended family are terrible, why live like that?

[eldeano]

Um, how long has the mother known that her son was dating a foreigner, and not done any research or asked him questions?...
And sarcasm is a very underrated and effective tool against narcissists and people with egos.

[cattyanamontes]

I had a man tell me he didn’t think I should be speaking masculine. That was the last day I spoke to him.

[evacelik]

I am not amerikan in Sweden we have the Union negotiate our Salaries equal pay for equal work. No diskutioner at all

[TopazFire]

Story 1: OP is allowed to not want to advocate/help his coworker if he’s worried about retaliation. He’s NOT allowed to piss and moan and say he earned his salary because he negotiated for it, so screw his coworkers, because at no point does he give evidence that she never asked for raises herself. It’s giving “pull yourself up by your bootstraps” energy.

[loganjoh]

Story 2: well that is one way to destroy your relationship also the fact OP apologized at all is gross. The fact that she apologized for her walking red flag of a boyfriend, and his mom and aunt continued to spout stereotypes that they made up about OP's home and he got mad when she walked out calling her rude what a pathetic excuse for a "man."

[Goat-whqw]

In a previous job, a new colleague mentioned she was happy with her contract (which was around 4k less than me). I called our manager there and then asking why she was on considerably less than me, h\e stuttered mentioning experience. I requested that her pay was brought inline with mine as it was a general admin job in which she was already doing the same work as myself. She got the immedite payrise (did push for back pay too but was a step too far lol)

[magicalmomo]

Story 1: "Gender doesn't play a role. I just negotiate better, duh. Even though she's way more experienced than me and I started off being paid more than her, I just make more because I'm way better at negotiating even though I don't even know if she has even had the chance to negotiate or is even bad at it at all. It's not because she's a woman. Also, she clearly doesn't understand work-place boundaries and made me uncomfortable even though she apologized so I'm distancing myself. Also my girlfriend thought she was wrong and is paying for dinner on our next date." Is a very wild update. This is why women continue to be paid less. No workplace solidarity but especially not from men like him. Wow.

Like he has the right to not want to discuss it with her but his mentality is shit and I dislike him. Like he didn't even have to tell her his salary, just advice on negotiating would've still sufficed if he asked if she needed help with that but he just ASSUMED she's bad at it or was trying to start drama. Wild as shit.

[gilles]

Story 1, let girlfriend pay the next date as "saying sorry" and keeping distance with coworker as she can't be trusted after overstepping a boundary once and apologizing for it? And still dares to say everything is fine and cleared? Wow, I can fully understand why they scorched OP in the comments of the update. What an immature person he is.
I'm very glad I'm in an open and transparent industry, every one can look up the wages at internet and see how much everybody is making. With X years experience you make Y salary, no difference between male or female workers. And that's how it should be for everyone.

[anjaderuiter]

Story 1: How does OP know that his colleague didn't negotiate for higher wages? Maybe their employer told her that they couldn't afford to pay her more.

[JoshJohnson-emfu]

LOL at Story #2's fiance. "Respect is important to my family" says someone very disrespectful, in a very disrespectful way, in defense of people being disrespectful. It's all to clear that he just meant "other people deferring to us is very important to my family."

[rashidasimmons]

"Because I negotiated..." But his starting salary was more than hers even though its years later and shes more qualified... How is it not about gender...

[quietlyours]

Love how this guy is suppose to potentially sacrifice his pay and career for some random woman he barely knows. Just so some dogooders can feel better about themselves.