Never Make This Flirting Mistake If You Want To Attract Guys - Matthew Hussey, Get The Guy

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You’re on a date with a guy.

You’re both sharing stories. He tells you that he plays the guitar. You notice that he seems really proud when he tells you about playing his first gig.

Then without missing a moment, you start enthusiastically telling him about your friend who’s also in a band, is the best guitarist you’ve ever seen, and has just released and album.

Suddenly, his eyes narrow and he seems emotionally checked out, maybe even hurt.

Why? What happened?

In this week’s video, I’m going to reveal why this kind of “story-trumping” is so dangerous, and why it’s can be such a turnoff to guys in dating.

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[crazycatladyonamoped]

I have literally spent a whole evening asking the other person about themselves, which they are happy to answer, but then the conversation falls flat and they don't ask me anything about me. People are getting more and more self-absorbed, I'm over it.

[nenadroza]

I am very curious about how their mom raised them. These boys are so self-aware and insightful. I'm such a fan.

[Stranded]

I tend to story trump and had no idea that it was cutting conversations short instead of continuing them. Now I know better. Thanks for your video!

[MuffinTin]

That makes sooo much sense! I'm married, but I still use some of your tips to improve my relationship! My husband has no idea, but I said you make me feel so safe when I'm with you(your suggestion from a previous video) and he really liked that! These tips aren't just for single people. They're great for married people "dating" their life partner!

[isyou]

Great advice. You guys are both incredibly handsome and down to earth. Steve looked a little nervous though. Don't worry Steve, you're great.

[jamilapatricia]

Oh my gosh! That is so true. I had to learn the hard way with my communication, that when I WAS TRYING to connect with someone by sharing my story too that it wasn't being perceived that way. That is a golden nugget of communication with ANYONE not even just in dating. Thanks guys for pointing that out, I think I hadn't even realised that's why I was always following up a story with a story, instead of ASKING MORE QUESTIONS. Brilliant revelation there! WOW!

[ashimunir]

Ok so Matthew showed his bro Steven....but WHO is Jameson!!!?!?!?!!?

[tuyetthi]

Hey Math, the last time I watched this video, I didn't comment anything. But this time I have something to tell. I'm always so shy being with guys, don't look them in their eyes and blush when I look at me. From your advices, I practice keeping eye contact with every boys in the street. (hahaha) And I start conversation with the ones I want. Today I talk to the hottest guy that I used to be scare to approach. That's an amazing experience. I genuinely see the world in a different way. !!!! Thank and Love U,

[mikek]

I saw this in a group at work at 19 years old and was aware of the simultaneously competitive/connection seeking aspect and the difference is so subtle and easy to miss. The result is missed opportunities for connection. Take a breath, relax, enjoy the moment and actually listen to what the other person has to say and give them your attention instead of lining up your responses and waiting for your chance. But honestly it's such an easy trap to fall into especially when you're feeling nervous. Great video guys loved the sibling moment at the end lol

[nanKCAS]

A friend of mine does that to ME lol It's soooo annoying even if the other person is your friend. Most of the time I'm like "Will you let me talk?" ughhh

[maclippy]

Could we please have a video with Jameson as well?? For us who missed out on his face reveal on Valentine's Day! Xx

[SavannahLSullivan]

Great video. A few years back a rude coworker of mine stated in front of everyone at lunch break: "Oh, you're one of those people, a 1-up-er." I was seriously shocked and embarrassed and offended. And then I realized he was right. Even though I notice every time I do it now and correct myself, I still catch myself doing it mindlessly. At first I thought it was only to do with the insecurity of not feeling impressive enough. Then I realized it's more that I have this gigantic load of useless knowledge I feel compelled to share with people. And also, I realized I love "being in control" of the conversation as an extravert. And now I'm forever grateful for that rude coworker for pointing out a major flaw in my conversational makeup. Still working on it!

By the way, LOVE Stephen in the vids! You're sibling chemistry is fun to watch. :)

[ashwilliams]

Story trumping is something I absolutely despise! There are some people I refrain from telling anything because they always do this, even if their story has nothing to do with what was actually said.

[julissa]

Matthew: “Acknowledgement, compliment, interest, and contribution. Okay, I think that was great.”

Me: * Anxiety intensifies *

[mswriter]

I like how you guys get right to the point..straight in .. without all the site introductions that people do.

[amywessman]

I listen to a Mathew Hussey video while I am having tea each morning. Thanks for providing a positive way to start my day! I always learn something - even if I rewatch a video. Cheers!

[rosemaravilha]

Hey, ACIC- acknowledgement, compliment, interest and contribute.

[naamijensen]

You two are adorable, generous & it is so fun to see you smile and enjoy yourselves in the videos. Matthew is very good at this, hes had more practice. Steven, i feel it would be lovely to see you smile more, lighten up a bit and enjoy yourself, and you will rock it. When you do give a lighthearted smile, its amazing

[ashleymarks]

This is the best advice I have heard from Matthew. I didn't even realize how often that I do this! And I always thought it was because I was connecting with them. Don't story trump people guys! Spread love and help people feel special ❤️! Thanks Matthew!

[salammbo]

Very good advice that applies to every single relationship. :)
It's like people are not listening really, all they want is talking about them...
Real connection happens when you're able to listen fully to the person in front of you, not when you're just waiting for your turn to speak.
Cheers !