How to Become a REAL Werewolf (2025 Spell)

This incantation is not for the faint of heart or those with a fear of fur, fangs, or moonlit transformations. Are you tired of being a regular human, doing regular human things like paying taxes and buying groceries? Well, say goodbye to the mundane and hello to THE WAY OF THE WOLF! In this definitive guide, we’ll walk you through the steps to become the werewolf you've always dreamed of. Just be sure to tell your neighbors you’re “testing a new diet” before you start howling at the moon. Side effects include: excessive shedding, an inexplicable desire for raw meat, and awkward family reunions. Proceed with EXTREME caution.

[Michael]

Step 1: I already do this every day.
Step 2: Not gonna happen. Unless I get more broke.