BULLYING IN NURSING | Tips for Handling Bullying & How to Fix it

Bullying in Nursing. Certainly not a super fun topic, but it’s one I’ve gotten quite a few questions on. In todays video, I’ll share my experience with nurse bullying, and the ways that I have learned to deal with bullying and decrease it among my peer group. I’ll also talk about how to deal when you are not included in that “clique” that everyone seems to be in. Lateral violence is on the rise in any workplace, but seems to be unfortunately deeply entrenched in nursing and other healthcare professions. Hopefully these tips will help you manage bullying when you see it, and show you some ways to cope when you are the one being bullied. I hope that NONE of you ever experience this, but unfortunately, it is likely that some will. Please reach out to someone (that you don’t work with) and talk about it! It is NEVER your fault if you are being bullied, and it is completely unacceptable. Hopefully with time and by leading by example, we can change this culture entirely, and start loving people more and judging less. Sorry about all my tangents in this one. It hits close to home.

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[selfdevelopmentlab]

"You can't change [mean people]." "Do not meet drama with drama." Well said!

I would also add to all the great stuff you already said, an effective method with bullies is to reflect facts and NOT share your feelings with them. What I mean: never tell a bully "that hurts my feelings when you say/do that." They (by definition of being a bully) aren't saddened or regretful to hear that. They don't tend to respond with empathy to soft feelings. I've never, NEVER heard of a bully responding with "I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to hurt you. What can I do to change?" Hahahhah!!!

Instead, calmly reflecting the facts to them: "You're telling me you don't like me because I have curly brown hair." No look of sarcasm on your face. No attempt to jab. Then just pause and wait for them to respond. Bully's typical responses = backtracking what they said ("Well, what I really MEANT to say was...."), getting defensive ("I was just joking...."), avoiding responsibility and trying to put the problem on you ("Well, what's wrong with saying you have brown, curly hair?" "You're so sensitive."). After they respond, you can respond accordingly. For example, "I'm just verifying that's what you actually said." (metamessage you give to the bully--> "You've got to be kidding me that you're functioning on this level. I heard what you said. You're not getting away with it.")

[MsShellieU]

Being bullied as a nurses aid while in nursing school made me quit nursing and school. Today, I am back in school for healthcare administration to make sure this is an issue thst is dealt with. It is unfair that a very good nurse leaves a position while the bad one gets to stay.

[Patricia-zlsu]

I had a nurse be mean to me my first day on the unit as a student. She was a new nurse on the unit but a more seasoned nurse pulled her aside and said, "we don't do that here", not only was that amazing but made me love being on that floor. Her attitude improved but you could still tell she was mean but that behavior was not tolerated on the unit.

[Rachel-rsdl]

I quickly learned that not all nurses are nice and not all nurses are in the field because they care, and I am currently home from a shift crying because this just breaks my heart. And some people can be so cruel... So that’s why I’m here watching this. Thank you for posting.

[karenleroy]

You would think that adults would have left that type of behavior behind in middle school.

[dustydarrius]

A girl who used to bully me in high school is a nurse now. I think most bullies use this title as a
"Look, I'm a good person because I help people now" type of mask to keep appearances out in public when people start to think negatively of their abusive behaviors.

[meghankrause]

I'm a CNA and was bullied by a Nurse who used to be a CNA on my unit. After trying to address it personally with them, I did have to go to my Nurse Manager. She took it very seriously, supported me 100%. The actual bullying stopped, now they just have a rotten personality.

[allynleblanc]

That's funny. Basically blaming the bullied for getting bullied. Last week a nurse was bullied in cath lab. She was verbally assaulted. She went to her manager to complain about the behavior. Nurse was told "what did you do to push them off". She went to HR. CEO of the hospital fired the offender bully. Called the cath lab supervisor, manager, and director in. Told them their response was unacceptable. They were all fired. New message is BULLYING WILL NOT BE ALLOWED!!! If you are being bullied report it. Keep going. I've been a nurse for 20+ years and an NP for 12.

[annmarieriley-nees]

I have been a LPN for years. The one thing I totally loathe is the bullying surrounding nursing. It is totally unacceptable. This is why people leave professions. I took a long time to choose my accelerated program because I was very disappointed in the lack of comradery. We need nurses people. You want to feel like a hero or special? Wrap your arms around that new nurse. Show them the ropes. Be the bigger person.

[shynot]

I've been bullied on the job. I think it's a shame that companies put up with such behavior. Nursing is supposed to be a compassionate field. Thanks for the info.

[sepideh]

Being nice to a bully, won't help situation. I have tried it but didn't work out for me.

[queenbutterfly]

I fight bullies back. I don’t care what anyone else thinks about it. No human on this planet is going to attempt to bully me ever.

[onodarse]

Thank you for your video! I recently started working in an ICU unit as a new grad and I'm already experiencing nursing incivility. Every time I ask a question they just roll their eyes and they always make me feel like I'm not part of their team. It sucks that after studying so hard and sacrificing so much I now hate my job and dread going to work every time. Hopefully it gets better with time. Nonetheless, I plan to start applying to another unit once my 6 month probation period ends.

[SarahRumley]

My step dad is a doctor and when I said I was thinking of nursing he said to be aware of mean nurses because he said all the nurses he works with are SO mean to each other. So I'm definitely expecting to come across mean nurses when I start nursing.

[stvsanders]

I am a physician that has tried to change out dated obstetric care in a small hospital and have been the target of nurse bullying for having rocked the boat. This really helped. Thank you

[laurenmusso]

I shared this on my nursing school discussion board about bulling in nursing. You are such a great resource. You rock Nurse Liz! <3

[lakshithasivanandan]

YES!!!! Thank you for this video.
I remember my very first acute care position and the bullying I went through. I was completely miserable. I've gotten better at having confrontational conversations with people but still working on it. I think I'm a bit too nice!

[karadronzek]

First most it is a high stress job and I think that some people have a difficult time handling the stress so they displace their own emotions and put it off on someone else.
I do also think the idea “ nurses eat their young” is an idea that was propagated and grown by the older nurse population. I’m hoping that as these nurses retire so will that philosophy. Because it’s SOOO counterproductive and realistically just dumb.
Young nurses, hang in there. This is an amazing and rewarding career.

[hinaynigenerations]

I had to stand up for myself and show what I could do. I earned my respect but either way earned it or not I straight up got clear in a nice way. And I got my respect. My term for this is called workplace abuse. I straight up showed what I was willing to take and not willing to take. As soon as someone said something I stopped them right there and quickly.

[ElleGeeFive]

I have been bullied at work, someone said something to someone in leadership, this leadership person brought me to management. I guess they had already heard what happened, told me they were taking care of it and that is not how things go. However there was one other player in the situation that they did not know about. Their response to that was "Nurses eat their young" lol I was mortified that I was marched into management office, it made it WAY WORSE. The bullying looks like this: Being left out, being ignored, being slammed on the unit, being set up by nurses so I fail. The bullying is VERY incognito. Nothing is really ever said. It's eye rolling, not helping, watching me drown, whispering behind my back, leaving me out of everything, eating alone in the lunch room and walking passed a big group of my colleagues and they all ignore me. It's so sad and pathetic. I had a triage nurse bully me by telling me that I had a patient in my room, told me what was wrong with them, the patient was NEVER brought to my room, I had to look ALL over for the patient because I thought they were at CT for the first hour, until I called CT and they were not there. The triage nurse never brought my patient back....sabotage....it was meant for me to fail. The patient was sitting over in triage for 2 hours wondering what was happening while I was her nurse.