Netflix 'Marriage Story' Analysis | Personality, Realism, & Critique

This video answers the question: Can I analyze the Netflix movie “Marriage Story?”

Marriage Story was released in 2019 and stars Adam driver, Scarlett Johansson, Laura Dern, Ray Liotta, and Alan Alda.

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[charlysteenstevens]

Our culture tells us that love is just a big, wonderful emotion. I learned from my children what love really is. They taught me that real love is always doing the right thing by the other person even if you're incredibly angry with them. When an entire culture's view of love is just a big emotional high how is marriage supposed to survive? All relationships are going to have tough times. If we can't behave in loving ways regardless of how emotional we may feel there's not much chance for marital success.

[fionarrestless]

What struck me was the last scene where the father literally became a ghost as the mom, the kid, and the new boyfriend invited him to go trick or treating. It spoke volumes about what it's like to be the non - custodial parent..

[todaysthoughtbubbles]

I really like Adam Driver as an actor; I think he's highly underrated and could quite possibly be one of the most gifted actors of our time. That said, I had a very contentious divorce, and 11 years after the divorce, a very contentious custody battle once the youngest was old enough to fend mostly for herself without diaper changing, day care, etc. So the movie was very good, but very difficult for me to watch. I shed more than a few tears during this movie; mostly for Henry. The analysis was spot on, I thought.

[MidnaBoa]

The beginning of your marriage breaking down is pretty much the most terrifying time, especially when kids are involved. Everyone told me to lawyer up, go on the offensive, this is a war, etc. But that has never been who I am. So, as scared as we both were, we worked together as much a possible. Years after being physically separated (divorce almost done), things are peaceful. As much as I grew to hate him for all the cheating and lies, I'm glad I was able to keep my head. Kids need two healthy parents.

[thebestmarcela]

Oh, something I liked about the movie too is how it portrays this feeling of not really knowing the person you thought you knew. At the beginning of the movie, they agree they won't use attorneys and all of a sudden Nicole has hired one and Charlie can't even talk directly to her. It was annoying and infuriating, but, at the same time, I enjoyed watching a scene that resonated with me and that I identified with. It's awful to be with someone and, like you said, see things going bad so quickly, and having this sensation that you don't recognize this person and why she suddenly started doing all of these things.

[krisztinakessel]

I think dr Grande is a closet film critic:)

[Sweetpea]

Whew!! Married 22 years and divorced for 30. He remarried but I could never “pull the trigger” again. I supported myself and made my life very happy and productive. My friends who have been married 50-ish years are very unhappy now. Kids are grown and their spouses control the TV remote, spending, comings and going’s, etc. They are lucky to get out for lunch once a week and always have to take a treat home to hubby so he won’t be grouchy or mad. Marriage isn’t what it’s cracked up to be.

[angiedairou]

A subtle theme was that of enmeshment. Nicole’s mom lacked boundaries and Nicole displayed the classic combo of lacking a sense of self and some entitlement that is common in kids with emotionally needy parents that lack boundaries (family therapist here). I agree. It was a stressful film to view and I think it would have been nice to have had some relief from the intensity from time to time.

[RedShareen]

Very spot on, and I'm very grateful you articulated all your points so meticulously. I was getting tired of hearing comments like "oh it was too sad" "oh i didn't enjoy it at all lol". It wasn't meant to be enjoyable! Despite its obvious weaknesses (too long, maybe too aggressive in its dramatic aspect), I'm firm in my belief that stressful and emotionally-violent movies like this one are just as necessary as the happy and aloof relationship movies.


Thank you for doing it justice with your review!

[NarcissisticAbuseRehab]

‘Divorce Story’ seems to be a more accurate title but maybe that’s less appealing to audiences. Thank you for this analysis.

[MsFunnybags]

As a divorced parent (my kids a are 32 and 31), I learned early that I needed to love my kids more than I hated my ex.

[vallisdaemonumofficial]

Adam Driver looks like someone tried to draw Keanu Reeves by hand

[margaret]

Didn’t know what to make of this movie so BLESS dr. Grande, our most trusted arbiter of all things psychological, we can always count on you!!! ;)

[moonlily]

I think that people have a tendency to approach this movie with the inclination to try to decide who's right and who's wrong and choose a side and miss the point. They're both right and they're both wrong, and there's no side to be on, except the child. The hope should be for them to get past their rage, move on with their lives, and make the best decision for their child.

[deekayvixen]

Leave it to Dr Grande to describe budding love as ‘emotions and illogical thinking’ 😂 This movie was very depressing to watch and the characters were quite unlikable.

[lizziek]

I agree with just about everything you said but I wish you had mentioned the letters they wrote to each other and how you felt about that. I feel like we were supposed to believe that if Charlie had read Nicole's letter earlier, then maybe things would have gone a different way. I don't think that's very realistic, but they made it so dramatic with Charlie finally reading it at the end. Would have loved to hear your take on that part of it.

[gomogomez]

Why ppl are afected from a divorce as if somebody close to them died? Is it in fact a divorce, the ''funerals'' to one of our ambitions who died inside of us and is hard to accept it, hard to reconise that we was wrong and we fail!? It may be this the reason why for some, the once with a big ego, is hard to let go and are causing troubles? Beeing afraid to lose I think is a stop to the evolution and a way to depression... Thank you Dr. Grande, for your dedication and your educative work!

[tessajones]

It was like meeting a couple and befriending a person when they were going through a divorce. Like, you missed the part when they were together but were along for the ride/support of their divorce. That's what it reminded me of as I have met a couple of people during that time. So when viewing the story you don't have sides sort of, as you don't know the full picture.
I really enjoyed it as it seemed realistic. I preferred their argument scenes to other films as it felt, quite raw and they both seemed selfish. It's like they just got married because that's what people do. So many people do that!
We see so many films that show the love story so I really enjoyed just seeing them going through the real part. I think the length of film was perfect because we don't see that story too often. We needed to feel it.
I was hella anxious and stressed watching it but needed to see it, I guess.
The ending was perfect I feel because they weren't nasty people, the divorce made them that way so the end was how they are as people. Moving forward and caring for their son as they weren't those people that forget the kids during that time. I did have to fast forward some parts though as it was raising my cortisol levels lol but I did enjoy it.

[jamesshaw]

Thanks for saving me from watching this film

[toasted_.coconut]

Why does Dr. G always know what I just watched on Netflix? Its like hes in our minds. pff. ;)