Can Signals Help You Overcome Social Anxiety?

Dr. K’s Guide to Mental Health explores Anxiety, Depression, ADHD, and Meditation

#shorts #drk #mentalhealth

[RandomAccessMemory]

What if you walk into a party and no one is smiling and don't acknowledge you?

[tayzonday]

The only social situations where I feel reassured are ones filled with other self-identifying autistic people. Even though our sensitivities may have wild variation, there's a fundamental wavelength on which we just get one another.

[Xanderj]

“What do we do when we walk in a room and we’re socially anxious”

Well we feel extreme terror when eyes turn to us, and then mask it as hard as possible and pretend to be normal, and then walk from group to group to make pleasantries, and then once our energy is so drained we literally cannot interact we slip out without anyone noticing.

[ShaySaysSo]

I'm still on phase 0: Get invited to any social gatherings at all (excluding work stuff where everyone is fakely nice because keeping your job depends on it). It's so hard to make friends as adults 😩

[whtvrrr]

So you walk in and all formed groups continue talking not batting an eye.. Then you perceive a positive signal. A cat. Evening saved. That'll allow you to spend some time before going home early.

[mrp]

The feeling that you are accepted and welcome.

[ashthemush]

My favorite example of this was that scene of Goob walking through the hallway in Meet The Robinsons. All the kids are saying “hey Goob! Wanna come over and play later?” And his narration goes “they all hated me” 😂

[MrGreendayzed]

Naa a more realistic ver. of this is you have that one friend who waves you over and the people he's with look mildly perplexed.

[kype]

Dr. K paints a very idilic picture of a social gathering that rarely ever happens (to me at least). Whipping out my phone is usually a last resort thing.
I get anxious in such situations precisely because nobody even notices me. I'm treated like a ghost to begin with, so what signals am I missing exactly?!
Now I'm not gonna act like I'm handeling proactively these situations, or that I'm actively try to engage with people, cause I'm not, so I'm avare that the lack of success is my fault as well. All I'm saying for me getting off the phone would solve nothing at all.
At best it could be a great exercise for me to sit with my awkwardness, at worst an amount of time that I wasted without the help of my phone. Horay!

[eloelo]

I would assume they are laughing at me probably. This shit works for neurotypicals that don't have actual social anxiety.

[LadyCellar]

The point here I think, is that people distract themselves and escape instead of living in the moment and feeling their emotions. One of the treatments for anxiety is step by step exposure, and phones keep us distracted so that we can't get exposure. It also keeps you from improving social skills and disecting reasons for anxiety and you have given it the power to keep you from being face-to-face social.

[theblasteffect]

well for me at least the social anxiety doesnt have to do with other people so much as it does my feeling around other people

[rijd]

If you haven't tried it, the meditation exercises in the book "30 Days to Reduce Anxiety" by Daniels are pretty effective.

[xdnewsman]

You know, when I started going out, for the first probably 30 times I went out alone. And for me it was a bit difficult because I perceived everybody in a group and there I am alone. What I found helped me was thinking "ok, let's assume I am indeed the lone weirdo, let's assume people are judging me. Am I ok?" And I just felt anxious for about the first 10 times. And after that I was kinda just ok, even if I am anxious. And later on, the being ok with being anxious, changed, because if you go out a lot, at some point, you might shift the "people are judging me this is weird" into "oh man that song was aweoame". Like, once the anxiety or doubt becomes normal and you aren't trying to escape it... You're kinda... Ok. You do your thing. Sometimes you chat some people, sometimes u don't... S aightttt

This might not work though if you're in a party where it's not about the music but just a social gathering.

[peanbean]

Depending on my mood I might come in the room and say hi to everyone at once rightly quick like suppp yalll and then Sometimes I just kind of slip in unannounced. And start greeting people 1 by 1 when we have a moment of silence next to each other. It's kind of weird because depending on which way I approach.. If I announce myself into the room I can almost immediately start a group conversation. If I do not announce myself I need to wait for silence to gain attention. But most of the time I don't care. And just talk to whoever seems interested.

[brickstonesonn]

This is the first shorts vid where i think dr k is wrong about something psychology related, which is very impressive. Hes probably the only psychologist i agree with a lot in youtube.

[homerodysseus]

You guys need to watch his video for more context because this short makes him sound like "social anxiety? focus and end up relying on external validation / social queues!" when I already know from experience that his message is much deeper.

[mythmakroxymore]

How are we gonna invite OTHER socially awkward people to get over their OWN anxieties, if we’re on our phones?
We really gotta think about that.

[mrmoveandspeak]

What about if you misread the signals due to anxiety, stress-induced paranoia or poor self perception ?

[Nivin_Frostgaze]

I'm not a fan of sitting on my phone in a social surrounding. There are still no hints. People stick to people they already know.