The 'Growing Up Poor' Tax

In this video essay, Chelsea dissects the realities that come with growing up poor, and how that trauma follows people well into adulthood.

Special thanks to:
Jaciel Espinosa

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CHAPTERS:
00:00:00 Intro
00:05:49 Ad break
00:06:50 Intro continued
00:10:18 Why Poor Americans Are Great Business
00:16:47 The High Cost Of Rites Of Passage
00:23:33 Mental Health And Money
00:35:02 When Just Getting A Job Doesn't Work
00:43:34 Policing The Poor — Literally And Figuratively
00:50:12 What To Do When You Make It Out

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[anyazxr]

One of the hardest pills to swallow was that “networking” is really a rich man’s game. During orientation at my first corporate job I remember overhearing a conversation between a few guys discussing their multiple semesters abroad, trips to Europe, what airlines they prefer, etc and thinking about how even in the same company, in the same role, these little break room conversations provide a clear divide that worsens these differences as you get further into your career.

[glossyhobi]

attending university from a low-income background IS a huge culture shock. Realising your classmates had high school trips to Japan, Coding classes & enough funding for various niche sports team makes you realise how big of a gap the lower and middle class really is. Completely different worlds.

[motherofthetans]

So a few months ago, our vacuum cleaner died a horrible death (asphyxiated on dog hair, RIP). I was able to get in the car, drive to the store, and purchase a new one right away and that's when it hit me how much my husband and I have moved up in the world, financially speaking. A few years ago, we would have just. . . not had a vacuum until somebody was giving one away, or until we could find somewhere to cut back to save for one. I sat in the parking lot and thought about that for a long time before I went in.

[caitlinmccloud]

Growing up poor, being poor, it all get the same attitude of “you’re so resilient” like stfu I’m tired of hard work burn out and going no where.

[anthien]

the tax of being poor for me is not having as many volunteering hours for my graduate healthcare degree, and thus I have to work even harder in other aspects to prove that I am worthy. But how am I supposed to be doing volunteer work to the underserved communities when I am literally the underserved community that need paying jobs every hour to survive. Imagine giving free soup to the poor and realize you haven’t had anything to eat the whole day either…

[zacquelinebaldwin]

25, former welfare baby
If anyone were to tell me “growing up poor isn’t a disadvantage and this country has equal opportunity” I may be moved to unkind reactions.

[Mary-tjqx]

Poverty isn't just an absence of money, it's an absence of hope. In fact, this absence of hope is really the hallmark of poverty. The poor are inundated with problems that cause them to abandon the dream they could have a better life. Poverty pushes people into survival mode. The health and mental health consequences, vulnerability to substance use, obesity, all of it, come from this. These people need support. They need a break and they certainly don't deserve to be judged.

[jjjklc]

This is a great introduction into why the younger generations are choosing not to have kids. We experienced being an expense our parents couldn't afford. We can't afford to exist as adults either. All that our parents couldn't give us growing-up, we're giving ourselves now. This is a perception often overlooked.

[Tormekia]

Poverty is treated like something you're guilty of rather than going through.

And it sucks when you get stuck in low wage jobs. People figure you can't do anything better and you don't get a chance to try.

[MrARock]

This feeling of needing to "perform your class" when you suddenly have money after a childhood of poverty is called "class anxiety". You perform your class by buying "class signifiers" like a nice car, nice clothes, fancy dinners, expensive appliances, etc. It is very expensive to perform your class, and entire industries make bank selling class signifiers to poverty-scarred middle-class people with class anxiety. The social shame of appearing poor is a very exploitable and profitable phenomenon, for the owner class.

[shannafriz]

The scarcity mindset from growing up poor and still being poor really hits.

[SwimSweetie]

I grew up lower middle class, and the am quite the opposite of her. After being financially unstable for so many years, I have a hard time spending money on things I don’t explicitly need. There is almost a level of guilt for me. Why spend money on frivolous things when I could use it to get out of debt faster and become more stable. Financial insecurity is tough. Even when you start to make more money, there is always a feeling of the shoe about to drop. Like something bad is going to happen and take it away

[skylarkkralyks]

In the late 90s as a homeschooled teenager, I loved going for a week to this Christian summer camp that my parents didn't fully object to. One evening in my cabin, one of my bunkmates told all of us that her family was struggling after her dad lost his job, and it was so bad that she had even had to pay for most of the $120 camper fee herself. I looked at her, astonished, and said that I have always had to come up with the camper fee myself from babysitting money or however else I could earn it. Looking around, it was clear that no one else in this cabin had been tasked with paying for camp herself.

[sharaineroberts]

I don't know if anyone has mentioned this or even feels the same way. But I really don't like the glamorousation of side hustle as a means to become financially free on social media. For me, it's a slap in the face of people in poverty who have been doing this for decades just to survive. Side hustles are a second, third, or fourth job. Being told that if you don't make enough money to "get your side hustle on" is insulting. I worked hard educating myself so I could get a better paying non-phyical paying job. If I am not promoted or receiving a good raise, I will look for a better paying job. Or figure out it starting my own business is better for me. I would not just stay in a low paying job and look for another low paying job to double my income by working twice as hard. I tell my son and his friends to work smarter, not harder. In my opinion, promoting side hustles instead of educating is another tool to keep people in poverty.

[Ella-gm]

I had a really rough start in life due to being poor. The effects of poverty are one thing, such as the lack of access to healthcare or inability to participate in social events like summer camp, but poverty often goes hand in hand with mental illness in the family, abuse, and generational trauma. When you have a kid in an abusive environment who cannot afford access to mental healthcare or any other resources and is socially isolated due to not being able to afford social activities, it's a recipe for disaster. That kid had no chance in life.

I only got out due to being really, really smart and getting a scholarship and good degree. If not for that I'd be trapped with everyone else in a deadend town where everyone ends up either working retail, unemployed, arrested, or a single mom.

Also, a lot of poor kids get exposed to environmental health hazards like smoking parents, parents who abuse drugs, lead paint, contaminated water, low quality food and nutritional deficiencies, unclean air, no access to exercise, etc. and of course being poor prevents them from receiving healthcare, compounding that. so if you are a poor kid you get a graduation gift of lifelong medical issues that could have been prevented, corrected, or treated early if you'd been in a middle or upper class family. a lot of poor kids just live in pain and discomfort from untreated health issues. For example, my teeth were crooked which meant I got made fun of, turned down from good jobs, and experienced TMJD pain in my jaw because my parents couldn't afford orthodontics. Now as an adult I had to pay for my own orthodontics, which cost me $6k out of pocket. Rich kids got that paid for them, skipped all the pain and bullying, and didn't have that expense dropped on their lap as a young adult. And that's a small example that is easily solved, others have it way worse. Also, "you aren't ugly, you're just poor" so young people without mommy and daddy's money have their social life crushed and experience low self esteem because they can't afford contacts, or orthodontics, or acne treatment, makeup, good clothes, haircuts, etc. And anyone who says that is vain is being obtuse because it sets you up for a lifetime of lowered standards.

The ramifications of poverty are endless.

[vickypalacios]

Some people dont just make good choices, they are only given good choices.

[beetlejoose]

one of the most depressing college experiences i had was everyone being told they MUST get summer internships, but I was not able to accept any offers bc they were unpaid and full time and I needed to work to stay housed & fed. The worst part was the lack of understanding my classmates and professors had. Sometimes I feel like people who grow up wealthy develop this mental block where they’re willfully incapable of putting themselves in a poor persons shoes.

[lisecarolina]

You’d be surprised how many people who “look rich” are drowned in debt trying to keep up the lifestyle.

[Meadowmeadowmoo]

The animosity is real. My husband was talking about how hard it was that his dad was always on business trips during the week growing up and his dad got him and his sister a pager so they could communicate - late 90’s early 2000’s. I’m sitting there thinking about the calls and letters I would get from my dad in prison. I’m sure it was hard, but sometimes hearing about those experiences just makes you jealous that you didn’t get those things.

[madysenvalentine]

it’s a hard pill to swallow. Realizing your parents had you when they couldn’t even afford you and they sacrificed so much, but you still had a very less than ideal childhood and you were robbed of certain experiences. No child should have to get a job at 13 to help with bills.