2017 Personality 10: Humanism & Phenomenology: Carl Rogers

In this lecture, 10th in the 2017 series, I begin to talk about Dr. Carl Rogers, a humanist psychotherapist in the phenomenological tradition, and an expert on listening and embodied wisdom. Dr. Rogers offers very profound and practical lessons on the value of truthful relationships.

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[matrichard]

A few notes I'm leaving for myself...
14:20 How to really get to know someone.
18:48 Most of the time people have problems, not psychological problems.
22:19 Making your anxiety work for you!!! ...
33:16 (Starts before this) The philosophy / psychology behind "clean your room."
40:08 "How to have a conversation" and "The curative exchange of truth."
46:26 Listening and empathetic understanding.

[adrianwydmanski]

Q: Why should you even bother improving yourself?
A: So you don't suffer any more stupidly than you have to.

This is so brilliant, it literally changed my life. I remember listening to this 2 years ago. It was 2am and I was lying on my bed, feeling like nothing has any meaning, nothing really matters and I truly was suffering from that. You can say that nihilism was devouring me whole. I was mindlessly watching Youtube when I saw Jordan's random clip. I clicked it and it was a fragment of this lecture with the above quote. When I heard that quote, I felt like a lightning struck me. This was THE answer to my suffering! I jumped out of my bed, wrote this down and put it on my fridge. Then I started cleaning up my apartment - at 2am, while listening to more of Jordan. This man truly changed my life, I am a different, more complete person with a solid sense of purpose. This man is a treasure.

[callumscott]

Today my brother had a bit of an anger tantrum after his own glasses broke, and my dad got frustrated with my brother because he gets so easily wound up by these things and "takes them out on other people", which of course only makes him feel more angry. He asked my brother to explain himself, but my brother didn't want to explain himself because he knew that all my dad would do is criticise him for the feelings and opinions he might disclose. Because of the environment my parents have constructed, my brother and I learned early on to never really open up to anyone about our feelings, and we've developed a sense of shame about our emotions that just fuels the anger and discomfort that we've felt even more. After failing my Physics degree two years ago, I've spent every single day, with the help of counselling, trying to overcome what I've been put through.

Well, for the first time in his 13 years of him living, today I sat by his bed as he hid under his bedsheets, away from the family so that he could hide his anger, and I cried. I sat for 15 minutes in silence trying to squeeze out the same words that kept looping around in my head, to tell him that I just want to listen to him. To my pleasant surprise, he wasn't like me with my difficulties with learned helplessness, once I plucked up the courage to start a kind of conversation that we'd never had before, he pulled his head out from under the covers and he actually spoke about how he felt. I had the urge at several points to tell him what my own assessment of his situation was based on my own experience going through what he's going through, but instead I just listened and he spoke. I told him that it's OK to be angry, that I understand him, and I spoke about my experience and my own feelings, and I feel like something's finally really changed in our relationship for the better and I'm trying my best to keep it that way.

If it weren't for discovering Dr. Peterson two years ago, I probably wouldn't be pursuing the degree in Psychology and Linguistics that I am, my brother would probably go on to endure the same suffering and make the same mistakes that I did, and frankly I probably would have killed myself. No amount of written gratitude can ever do justice to what his work has helped me to overcome, but I try to convey it nonetheless. If you ever read this Jordan, thank you -- so much.

[DrWaadAminFitnessNutritionist]

my mom spent 25 years trying to make me clean my room and failed
and Dr Peterson nailed it in 50 minutes ❤️

[pelonp]

There's a quote that goes something like "a wise man can learn more from a fool that a fool can learn from a wise man"

[TopHatKitty]

I'm watching this instead of studying for the actual personality class I'm taking.

[thatblessedday]

46:40 "If you're having a conversation with someone, and it's dull, it's because you're stupid." Hilarious and heroic. It's refreshing how Peterson doesn't hedge his speech to the degree most academics do.

[crashbngwallop]

This lecture is criminally underwatched compared to some of his others. The last 20 minutes are so enlightening. He lays out how to howto communicate in a way that builds you into a better person. Listen as if you have something to learn from everyone.

[resilientrecoveryministries]

I love the practical advice to make friends, get a decent job, find a romantic partner, get along with your family, etc. Way more important than your "psyche".

[ladyfaye]

it's a rare person who can speak completely eloquently, comprehensibly, intelligently and considerately, like this, as well as being entertaining and deeply informing. Hats off to this man.

[reesaspieces]

I’ve always organized my room to feel better without realizing the reasoning behind it.

Yesterday I was only going to sweep my floor, but then I was motivated to continue. My entire room is organized now, and my closet/wardrobe is entirely in order - by color and season. I got rid of everything I don’t need/wear regularly. So satisfying.

[Painted_Owl]

"At the highest level of psychological integration, there is no difference between you and what you experience"
At that moment, I looked at my bedroom... and for the first time I had seen it with open eyes.

[iwannabethekidxc]

"Pain is THE fundamental reality."
I love how he articulates just deep principles and understandings in such few words. I couldn't word it like that, anyway.

[thecaseyleggett]

These lectures are as good (and usually a lot better) than anything I experienced in 5 years of college. Thanks for making them available!

[thegoodpilgrim]

I'm literally working while watching these lectures. I work at a factory so I can easily have all my focus on these. Thanks for great lectures Jordan

[NinjaBoy]

I find him totally fascinating. He's like the jazz of lecturers; talking about one thing then goes off topic where you learn a load of other things before coming back to the subject at hand.

[darrenbutler]

I'm so glad have we someone as brilliant as this around now.

[coffeeandcigeratte]

Because of him, I clean my room and now I am ready to fight the world.

[abelp]

"The exchange of truth is curative." 

- Jordan Peterson, a translation for Carl Rogers.

[anthonyknight]

If anyone has seen the movie Limitless with Bradley Cooper, it's interesting that the first thing that he does when he takes the drug is clean his apartment. Very fitting.