Nathan Wagner - Depression

#nathanwagner #depression

Song written by Nathan Wagner
All Instruments Performed and Programmed by Nathan Wagner
Mixed and Mastered by Nathan Wagner
Art licensed by Shutterstock

I remember what it's like to go years and years and years without feeling anything. Numb and jaded. Absolutely vacant. If that's where you are, I love you. And I'm sorry. It can feels so hopeless. But please keep fighting. I thought the best life experience I'd have was just making it through the day. I thought I'd never be able to genuinely "Enjoy" anything. But, it got better. It took years. But it got better. I love you all. Don't give up hope.

[nathanwagner]

I remember what it's like to go years and years and years without feeling anything. Numb and jaded. Absolutely vacant. If that's where you are, I love you. And I'm sorry. It can feels so hopeless. But please keep fighting. I thought the best life experience I'd have was just making it through the day. I thought I'd never be able to genuinely "Enjoy" anything. But, it got better. It took years. But it got better. I love you all. Don't give up hope.

[nathanwagner]

DEPRESSION
Tell me will you miss me when I’m gone
If I’ve fallen to the enemy
Will you keep me in your memory
Tell me will you save me from the dark
If I let you see a little glimpse
Of what living’s like inside my skin

Oh
I’m drowning and nobody knows
Oh
They never listen

Don’t wanna let the light burn out
But all I see are stormy clouds
And They say it’s gonna be okay
I’m trying to keep the faith
But every thing keeps passing by
Years’ll go still black and white
Seems nothing ever turns out right
It’s hard to be alive

Tell me what’s the meaning of it all
When the sunshine loses it’s coloring
Seems like all I know is suffering
Tell me will you catch me if I fall
Even deeper in this underworld
Will there ever be a hand to hold

Oh
I’m drowning and nobody knows
Oh
They never listen

Don’t wanna let the light burn out
But all I see are stormy clouds
And They say it’s gonna be okay
I’m trying to keep the faith
But every thing keeps passing by
Years’ll go still black and white
Seems nothing ever turns out right
It’s hard to be alive

Tell me will you miss me when I’m gone
If I’ve fallen to the enemy
Will you keep me in your memory
Tell me will you save me from the dark
When the sun loses it’s coloring
Seems like everything is suffering

I’m so afraid
I’m so afraid
I’m so afraid
I’m so afraid

So lost within the dark
Keep praying for a spark
A guiding light to
Rid me of this suffering
Free me from these troubling
Shadows shouting
Oppressing my mind
Craving their
Bounty won’t
Leave me behind

Can you hear me?
Can’t save myself
Not from this hell
Is no one listening?
I might need help

I see her trembling in the dark
With the weight of the world in her scars
I’d lend hand if there’s anything she’d need
I know exactly what it’s like to feel so weak
So I’ll run out with everything I have
Pull her out up from that deadly sinking sand

You’re not alone you’re not alone
Don’t give up hope don’t give up home
You’re not alone you’re not alone
Don’t give up hope don’t give up hope
You’re not alone you’re not alone
Don’t give up hope don’t give up hope

[hihungryimcam]

Nathan, I've listened to your music since I discovered "Lonely" years ago. I'm a 21-year-old musician and composer. I have been analyzing music since late elementary school and playing instruments (piano, guitar, and drums) and singing most of my life. I also have struggled with severe and treatment-resistant depression and anxiety (starting around 13) and OCD (my whole life). I had to medically withdraw from college in 2022 for 8 months due to the severity of my depression, and I stayed in a psychiatric unit for a few weeks.

I 100% mean it when I say that this is, truly, potentially the best song I've ever heard. It is so powerful. The lyricism captures the hopelessness and feeling of being ignored by those around me. It highlights how incredibly painful it has been living on this planet and trying to get through each day. Your voice is just...unbelievable. The distorted E5s around 4:50-5:50 are insane. The score is absolutely beautiful and so full and dynamic. You've been refining your craft for years, and it shows more than you know. I've also noticed how encouraging you are in comments on your videos.

You are truly amazing. This is wild.

[petersahyouni]

Dude...all your songs are good, many are great, but a few of them are literal masterpieces. This is one of them. So is anxiety, innocence, and when man meets God. Worth all 9 glorious minutes...amazing job

[Anx]

4:51 - 5:21
THESE VOCALS. GOOSEBUMPS. This is absolutely insane!!

[thegregitto]

I'm sure there are many songs under the same title but this song *deserves* to be the musical emblem of depression.

[corrinabrown]

Im feeling exactly this way right now. I feel so heavy. Demons surround me and oppress me each day. I feel like my broken heart is killing me inside. If it wasn't for Jesus being my Rock, my refuge in time of trouble i would drown. This is a beautiful song. I been playing it over and over.

[vivine]

My spouse goes through moments of depression and despite my omnipresence, I remain powerless. I share your beautiful song with him so he knows he is not alone. Thank you Nathan, we feel a little less helpless

[JaronLindow]

Some people don't understand depression because they've never been there. They don't realize how fortunate they are.

[Sweetieallycat]

I don’t think it’s possible for you to put out a bad song. Every song you put out is amazing and powerful. Absolutely speechless.

[ItsmeYuuki]

I‘m in tears. I‘ve been struggling with depressions since my teenage years and this song just hit me. Thank you so much for this amazing piece of art!! I really needed that.

[MettlingMiles-pspc]

“I’m drowning and nobody knows” gets me everytime😢

[facubraxxd]

I expected a song of hope, after so much suffering, so much sadness, so much loneliness, this song is a true musical, literary and emotional masterpiece. It is simply a song for me and for many of us it reaches our souls, it gives us that breath we need from the constant struggles with ourselves, with our internal darkness, with our emptiness...
Thank you nathan for doing more than just music and giving us that break, you went too far, you reached more than just our ears, you managed to reach our soul. Thank you again

[DeafMarsh]

For years, I tried to find a song that "brings me out" of my depression. And this is the only song that's been able to do that.

[TenheadLife]

This song… no this symphony of sadness is your best work man! It screams out loud everything I feel when I get in this place. I’m better most the time now but still look forward to the end of it all. No one has ever made a perfect masterpiece of pure emotion in my opinion.

[DarlingMythos]

I have dealt with depression for a long time and I often find comfort in your songs, Nathan. This song is so beautiful and meaningful to me. This song, to me, feels like a sad embrace on a lonely night. Like someone who knows how your suffering feels and is there with you to deal with it. Thank you for bringing me and all other listeners comfort with your songs. They mean so much to me and I'm not quite sure how to fully express it. I love this song so much. Excellent job

[SurviveUntilSunrise]

Some of your songs just go so beyond “striking a chord” with the soul that it’s hard to describe it in a phrase that exists, it’s like it deserves its own new word.

[samwagner]

Gosh. Guys, get this one to a million please

[JhadeSagrav]

This is not a song.
This is a journey.
💖💖💖

[TherealSakuraKei]

❤ Ever a more perfect healing song... like magic