Affairs are About Escaping

Affairs are about escaping. Today, Samuel discusses the nature of affairs and escapism and how to avoid relapsing.

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HEAL with Affair Recovery:

[MP-fbhc]

My husband took a 10 days trip to his homeland days after the D day. I will never forget him for taking that trip which, he also described as " I was happy there" while I was miserable here at home.
It was a dismissal of my pain, a dismissal of the horror he did, a dismissal of my feelings, a lack of respect for me and our marriage, and of course a vacation from the disaster he created. No excuse will ever be valid enough for me to forgive him for taking that trip. Thank you so much for so many amazing inputs.

[jhnA]

Affairs are the result of massive character flaws.

[abcisneros]

I wanted to escape. But I love him, and would never do that to my family.

[TBMMYoga]

That's a tough once to hear. Everyone needs some time to recharge. But does not act out. To hear that escapism is the gut desire from the life you built with a partner is painful and gross 🤢. As adults we should be able to recognize any needs, and redirect in a non harmful way. Still maintaining respect and decency to the family and partner they CHOSE and built.

[elizabethwatson]

Like almost everyone wants to escape at times, it’s the selfish who follow through; very self-centered.

[Ughwhatevs]

What’s strange about this is that there doesn’t ever seem to be any understanding by the unfaithful that maybe the betrayed wanted to escape too. In other words, the betrayed didn’t stay because the unfaithful is so great, but because the betrayed chose not to hurt the unfaithful, even if they wanted to plenty of times.

I wonder sometimes if you could get in a Time Machine and go back to before the affair and the betrayed cheated instead of the other way around, if the unfaithful would “understand” because they feel the exact same way or if the unfaithful would adopt the feelings of hurt that the betrayed has.

[katrinajacobs]

This video is raw, but saddening to at the same time. As a betrayed by the same man for 26yrs this is painful to know all he ever has done is escape.

[butterflyeightyone]

Your emotional fortitude is incredible. Thank you for sharing content so helpful to our lives.

[Jojo-sbxs]

Thanku so much. This makes so much sense. Just found out my partner has been havin an affair for almost 2 years. What ur doin is amazin. Such a blessin. Thanku xxx

[maunder]

God bless you. Thank you so much for this vid and sharing your own experience.

[pattihy]

Betrayed and I have no one, no one that trustworthy in my life.

[moneybags]

It sounds like he's just a hop, skip and a jump away from doing this again if things line up just right. Like it has been extremely hard for him to stay on the right path. It's kind of disheartening. I've never been a cheater so I guess I don't understand how difficult it is to do the right thing and keep on doing the right thing. If a person has to fight temptation so hard and if there's always this need to fight the urge to escape any time stressful situations present themselves, why bother being married and putting your partner through all this anguish? It just doesn't seem fair.

[bexbruges]

Your videos have helped me so much. I am so greatful to you. My husband has been having an affair with a women in China and intentionally got her pregnant in January. He keeps lying and changing his mind about what he wants. He has said he wants to escape. This video helps me understand and act constructively. As all your videos do. Thank you, God bless.

[GlendaBrunsonYoung]

Your wife had the same pressures…but she is a strong woman and stayed faithful.

[CarlosCastillo-yiur]

Can you redo this video topic from the perspective / more specifically about how the affair is a way of escaping for the unfaithful

[tsol]

So what do you do if your husband already has a hobby and this is how they have connected with their AP? My husband is into paddleboarding on a regular basis. This is has always been his favorite activity. He met his AP on the beach and they regularly met to paddleboard together, just the two of them texting, planning and meeting until I found out 6 months later. It was insult to injury that I can't paddleboard. Paddleboarding is one of his loves in life. There he was, sharing it with his AP in secrecy, doing something with her that I could never do with him.

[ErinP-kz]

My husband is going through a midlife crisis for a year and left the home 8 months ago he is in a relationship with a woman who works next to our business for 6 months he is very open about it, I told him I went on dates with another man he is very upset about it. Does this mean things are over for us i still want things to work out but he said not now but maybe later what does that even mean maybe later

[odettebernabeu]

Affairs are the consequence of ignorance. You have frustration and you look for greener pastures, but you wakeup.

[sharonovermier]

What if the suggested hobbies become too much escape and they just replace the other women with their hobbies?

[ClarkVincent]

Thank you. You've helped me understand what a complete immature fool my 49 year old husband has been. Unfortunately, mine made a baby intentionally with his lying, slut of a side chick who falsely affirmed and securely seduced his heart away from me. He's devastated our family. I need these videos to help me process through this divorce.