Do I Want Kids?

Glad You Asked host Cleo Abram is pretty sure she wants kids, but doesn’t feel like she has enough information to truly understand the impact of that decision. She’s not alone - even though the majority of American women do decide to have children, the number of births in the United States has been creeping downward, and women are having kids later and later in life. But while no one but you can answer if you want to have kids, join Cleo as she gathers more data and perspective on what it means to be a parent.

0:00 Intro
1:32 Do I Want Kids?
4:28 The Happines Gap
7:25 My Body
12:42 My Career
17:15 Making It Easier
21:08 Wrap Up

[xyouaresonaive]

I think we should change the question from 'Do you want to have kids?' to 'Do you want to be a parent?' as that is the crux of it. Kids aren't some accessories or a band-aid for other problems, they require care and time. Maybe if we focus more on the new role a person have to take on as a parent, rather than on 'acquisition' of a child people will reflect more before making the decision.

[DeeL]

I'm a teacher and honestly, that's my number one form of birth control.

[briang]

Other than money for living essentials, baby care, insurance, home, etc, the most stressful factor for working parents is giving time and energy. Ensuring kid to be healthy, well behaving and prepared for society is big challenge.

[klo]

I have known since I was 14 that I don’t want kids. Now I’m in my mid30s and happily childfree. ☺️ I’m grateful I found a partner who shares the similar views as me.

[goldbristow]

If a society wants more parents, they should be willing to be a society that loves and cherishes children. Through affordable daycare, better wages, better work hours, universal healthcare, affordable QUALITY education, these are the things that allow people to love and enjoy their families and children. Otherwise, it's just suffering and making a decision between raising your children and making money to keep them fed. And nobody should have to make that choice.

[l_]

I love my kids to death but as someone who has kids, I can completely understand why someone would never want to have them. It's not a decision to take lightly.

[Chowggrace]

The closing had me in tears. I never really wanted kids because I seen how my mother struggled, she lost her career, her health and her marriage and I felt like it’s my fault. She got diagnosed with breast cancer, but delayed her treatment because 20 years back we were way too young to grow up without a mother. This cause her cancer to spread, and her living in pain until one day she decided we are old enough and went for treatment. It was way too late we lost her two years after the chemotherapy. I admired her strength but I don’t think I want that responsibility for myself

[Kriistall]

I will always be impressed by people who know that they don't want to be parents and don't let society or family manipulate or guilt them into thinking differently.

[DB-vijb]

I think the first real question before "Do I want kids" talk is the "Do I want to be in a relationship" talk first. Because I came to the realization that I would make a great Uncle than a Father.

[NewToTheLyte]

Having kids in the US is all about economics. When the population was booming, one income could support an entire family and buy a home. Now you need two incomes and no kids just to save up to put a down payment on a home. People haven't suddenly decided that kids aren't worth it

Make it easier to live and more people will have kids.

[jackieandthesheetmetals]

This should be titled “are you fit to be a parent” because not everyone should be a parent. Doesn’t matter if you’re ready or not it’s just that some people are more for to be parents than others

[gulnaazafzal]

As a 27-year old, this video made me sad. There is so much pressure on me to optimize career goal, marriage to the right person, and bear a human being all at a single time.

[MolinaKojima]

Even when I was a kid I thought to myself “just because you CAN have kids doesn’t mean you SHOULD” I rather adopt but the process is lengthy and expensive

[RayianneGabrielMaravilla]

I see no problem with people who do not want to have kids, the only problem is those people who cannot accept others’ decision not to have kids. Periodt.

[EdaliaDayCreative]

I’m surprised people expect kids to make them happier. I would expect it to be much more stressful and hard than not having kids but that the positives of kids are about companionship, the satisfaction of impacting another’s life and the bond of family

[vipulsingh]

pets are the new kids. Plants are the new pets.

[missmelodyjoy]

As a 30-year-old woman who loves children, it’s hard to feel like my life is complete without a child. Do I want to have kids? Yes, I do, but the question is more complicated than that. I don’t just want kids, I want a FAMILY. A factor that this video touched upon economically but no more than that is the partner you have a child with. I don’t have any yet simply because I have yet to meet someone whom I believe would be a good partner to raise children with. I think you can want to have kids but if you do it with the wrong person, that definitely changes things. And being a single parent is a completely different ball game and topic. It’s no joke. I was raised by a single mom of 4. She was and still is an AMAZING mother but I do not wish to emulate the hardships she had to endure raising us alone.

[melanchorly]

I don't want to say: "I'll never have children", because maybe someday I'll change my mind if I am in a good place in life. However there's a lot to consider and after weighing it all up; I'm confident it's not a good idea. This being said, if you're a parent and you're reading this... please never make your children seem like a burden. As cliché as it sounds, they really didn't ask to be born.

[runawaylostmymind]

This is a great conversation to have for kids. I have a 7 year old but I had him young and I realize my personality doesn’t fit with being a parent, although I make it work. The more independent he becomes the happier I become.

[carmina__]

Cleo touched on another important point when she was on the call with her mom saying how she wanted to give another person the positive experience she received. I personally hesitate to become a parent because my childhood was not a positive experience. Talking to a lot of my friends who also experienced negative/toxic/traumatic childhoods, I think this holds a lot of people back from becoming a parent fearing that the traumas/toxicity continues. The gap from going to only knowing a toxic home life to creating a secure loving home life is a huge jump which requires a lot of self-healing and work on the individual first before they can even begin thinking of bringing another child into the world to avoid repeating the same cycles. So, there's a lot to think about before becoming a parent on top of all the points Cleo made in the video.