Jordan Peterson - The Key to Healthy Relationships

Psychology Professor Dr. Jordan B. Peterson explains the importance of rewarding good behavior and the challenge of acknowledging it when everything goes right.

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[allbaugh]

I feel like every family should be assigned a psychologist these days, that's how bad most parents are.

[Virtuewz]

This man is so wise. Jordan Peterson, you will stand in history as a groundbreaking philosopher of the modern age.

[Kempshaw]

This is excellent advice. Imagine how many children are growing up under poorly utilized conditions.. If parents just learned a few simple lessons, got into psychology just in the least, they could be way better parents providing society with way better people.

[richspizzaparty]

This is when to give a women flowers NOT when you've done something wrong.

[Navesblue]

In a nutshell: Be direct, specific, and instant in praise for good actions as well as deterring for bad actions.

[nagylevi]

I love how he compared behavioural conditioning within a relationship to a rat pawing for cocaine. Original, memorable, excellent.

[hankhilldoeshisthing]

Man, this stuff happened to my sister in elementary. She told me a story of how she saw an adult smile, then quickly stopped after she passed by. She said this taught her that smiling isn't real, so she grew up not smiling around strangers, but then acts normal like everything is good and cool with family, because we are real. She also told me a story about how one of her teachers withheld recess all year long, because she was with a "bad class" so that was their punishment. That explains her difficulty socializing. So it sucks knowing about it now. It explains a lot though. Now I'm trying to teach her how to fill in those discrepancies...with positive reinforcement.

[captainallercaptains]

When you do things right, people won't be sure you've done anything at all. - God from Futurama

[vashtiani]

Deliberate proactive positive reinforcement 👍

[anewloveofficial]

This is so true. Every relationship is hard and challenging especially if you expect too much about it. Just do your part in the relationship and make your partner does his part because in a relationship it's important to work as a team for you to get the goal you've ever wanted.

[rambojohnj.]

BF Skinner’s entire life’s work on Behaviorism summed w/ examples in T-Minus 5 minutes! J.P. is a GENIUS!
*If you want something good to occur again*,
acknowledge and encourage how good it is! Especially in kids!! Good will continue!!
*If you want behavior to stop*, discourage/ignore/make known it is not acceptable, while firm and consistent. Eventually, it should stop.

[Iamlearningtolove]

My God I can only imagine how different my life and the life of my children and everyone around me would've been had I been taught by this man until age 18 instead of the useless school systems I grew up in, forcing me to learn many of these lessons the very hard way and taking another 20 years to do so! It's heartbreaking but gives me hope at the same time! 💖

[notmyopinion]

today was my birthday and for a few days now I tried to pay attention to this. I tried to compliment my bf for every good thing he did. And what I realized was how often I have to cut back on criticizing him. It's just a few 'passive aggressive jokes' but smh they really come to my mind quite a lot. I got a breakfast today with flowers, obv he took his time and effort to do this for me and i was really happy, but as I was saying: 'thank you for the flowers, and the breakfast was so nice, ' i caught myself how I wanted to say: 'it's really nice to get my first bouquet of flowers after 3 years of being with you' it was meant as a joke, but it's obv criticismn and I had to keep that comment to myself. By just focusing on the positive things, it also kept my mood in check. We don't argue much and are rather happy with each other but it really was a change keeping these unnecessary and kinda toxic comments to myself. It was just more wholesome and nicer between us. Sure I love to poke at my bf for being an idiot and a rather bad bf(it is a running gag between us), but It's really not healthy to keep that up for the next 60 years and I want a change when it comes to his behaviour obv. Thank you, dr peterson! It's something so easy to avoid, with huge benefits. I am glad that I saw this video and will try to keep it up. I am really grateful that my bf finally caught up on treating me nicer, I am glad I found your videos, else I would have probably ruined his positive change by giving negative feedback all the time! I will try to keep myself in check. I think that is also a good way to raise children, reinforcing positive behaviour with positive feedback. So I try my best to keep it up for the future as well.

[BBray]

I had a tutor like this on an electrician course when I was 25. His lessons were great. However this just seems much more like expert life advice.

Probably better off paying 20k to be in his class than paying 20k to do a degree in something else. Atleast if you don't get a job in psychology you've got your shit together.

[sdkhx]

What an honour to sit there and listen to this real man
.

[allananderson]

Bite-sized Philosophy: First thanks for your bite-sized work. Very valuable. Second: There are a lot of great questions imbedded in the lecture videos. Perhaps you could separate them out, make sure the question can be hear or read, and post a bite-sized video. JBP is getting hundreds a questions directed at him a day now. If you need more to do, :-)

Again, thank you.

[wesfin]

0:49 it’s really hard to notice when things are going wrong not right. Notice when things are going right/amazing and reward it

[alejandro_lx]

This video is incredibly interesting. I remember growing up that my dad was always so quick to point out and punish with extreme prejudice (i.e. beating the shit out of me and my siblings) when we did something he didn't like, but NEVER tell us when we did something good, and in fact he would verbally bully us into not celebrating our accomplishments sometimes.
One day when I was about 14 years old I asked him why he never told us when we were doing well, or doing a good job and his words to me were, "Why would I tell you when you are doing good? That's what you are suppose to be doing."
I cant explain to you what that did to me that day. It was like I'd never be good enough.
Haven't spoke to him in 10 years

[fastpitchmermaid]

JP is one of the greatest minds of our time, we should heed his advice and be grateful for him.

[GeorgeLista]

Happy to provide captions in Spanish... this really needs to get out to more nations.