The Lies of Hookup Culture

Chapters:

00:00 - Introduction
00:53 - My story
04:14 - Sociosexuality
05:34 - Pseudo-relationships
06:46 - The Big O Gap
07:45 - Loveless sex is not empowering

What I use to make my videos:

What I use for my daily journaling:

Books that shaped me:



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[Sanderteeuwen]

As a man I almost feel weird for not liking hookup culture because my friends and people around me all do like it. But it also seems that it is almost like a hobby to them and they have nothing else going for them except hooking up with people. I like my peace and quiete and do have different hobbies like playing the guitar and going to the gym. I can entertain myself very well but the people I see hooking up with people constantly are also the people who can’t be alone for too long or don’t have any hobbies, so they seek this in other people.

[ronanderson]

Hookup culture doesn't just hurt women, but it keeps ALL heart-centered people divided. Men who are heart-centered, not controlled by lust, and who shun hook-up culture often have their sexuality questioned. At the same time, I think that MANY women are more attracted to men with the hookup culture mentality as they associate that mentality with masculinity.

[HomebodyRJB]

You've said what I always wanted to say, Loveless sex doesn't make sense to me also, I find it ridiculous. This Hook up culture is totally beyond me . 😢

[amrechtmn]

To me, hookup culture has completely ruined the way that people perceive relationships. I was talking to this girl a while ago and we hadn't done anything sexual throughout the whole time of us dating for about a month. We had only kissed one time and after that our entire relationship dynamic changed because she only wanted to hookup with me and I didn't want that. She then proceeded to ghost me all because I didn't want to hookup with her. I didn't understand at first because I didn't think people took sex so seriously and that it was something that they felt was 100% important to having a relationship become something more than a friendship. I had never hooked up with anyone before because I think that sex is sacred and should only be shared with someone you either have a super deep intimate relationship with or with someone you are married to.

[Leoo]

Hookup culture is objectively bad for everyone. Its a fact and its ok to say the truth. Its not being judgemental to say that. I've talked to so many men about this, and literally ALL of them have regretted having random and casual sex with women they have no real interest in. Even the ones that like to view sex as a trophy feel this way deep down. Its like glorified masterbation. Also, its important to recognize when we are experiencing lust, so we don't give into it.

We are not meant for promiscuity. Promiscuity is similar to taking drugs because they both act as a distraction from something uncomfortable in our lives that we need to address but are actively avoiding. They both make things worse for ourselves.

[emilymenjivar]

In a world that validates all other sorts of sexual expression and experience, I finally feel validated for keeping my body to myself and giving it to someone I truly love mind, body, and soul.

[marpro]

I could never stand hookup culture, because I’ve always looked beyond the immediate benefits or ‘instant gratification’ of my choices, and could see the negative longer term effects.

Sometimes I do indulge my impulses. I might eat something unhealthy, or drink until 4am on a night out. But when I do such things, which already is rare, I do it entirely at my own expense and am fully aware of what I’m doing.

Hookups by definition involve another person, and that honestly never sat right with me. I can damage myself all I like, and that’s my business and problem. But when other people are involved, it isn’t.

I use drug use as an example to illustrate this to people. I often consider hookups to be even more toxic and nefarious than drug use, because with drugs you are only ruining your own wellbeing, whereas with hookups you also are potentially ruining another person’s wellbeing.

[gaurav_]

Multiple partners is the single biggest cause of STDs

[roulettxxl]

I have been dating a girl recently who had very different views on sex comparing to most women. She explained that it doesn't really mean anything to her but she constantly needs it. That is not to say that she would cheat, but that when she's single she's constantly hooking up. Ultimately this was one of the reasons why I've stopped dating her. It was rather weird to me.

[vlqtelq]

I’m so glad you are talking about this. My brother so desperately wanted a committed relationship and children one day but every relationship he had never worked out. He was cheated on by a girl he loved more than anything and it completely destroyed him. He was still young but he felt like he would never find true love. He then started hooking up casually with women. Alcohol abuse followed and he took his life not long after. He was only 23. I hate hookup culture and I know for a fact that my brother engaging in it only worsened his depression.

[deezed]

I’ve never liked hookup culture but I gave in a lot in my younger years because I wanted to fit in so badly. Not only is it dumb because you can get pregnant, but of all my sexual encounters, only twice was I SOMEWHAT satisfied. I’m so mad I was duped into risking getting pregnant for something that didn’t even feel good.

I also feel that hookup culture has become a way to shame women into lowering their standards. But it’s perfectly reasonable for a woman to want a provider man, and to look at his actions and not his words before sleeping with him.

[thegritsch]

I used to be a bit of a sex and dating addict in the past. Went on almost 300 dates in four years, but the fact that I did never find what i was actually looking for led me down a spiritual journey with a subsequent awakening. My sexual desire is greatly diminished and I didn't have any sexual relations in over a year now. Instead, I'd prefer to first and foremost be with someone that I feel a connection with and have the physical aspect be something that develops from that naturally.

[maynardewm]

How society convinced women to give men exactly what they want: no strings attached hookups, and sold it as a form of liberation is something I'll probably never understand. In the last 10 years, there's been such a focus on feminism and bringing down old patriarchal structures, and hookup culture did the exact opposite of that in my opinion. It gave men and the patriarchy one the thing it wanted most, while STILL shaming women for doing it and attaching their value to their chastity. Women just lost in every way you look at it.

[mariachiaradealberti]

This video arrived at perfect time. I just recently started dating this guy that seems to be wanting just casual sex from time to time. I started being okay with it to then realize that this is not me, this is not how I operate, not how my body and feelings work. Respecting yourself first is always the best choice!

[jimg]

Nearly twenty years ago I had put forth a devil's advocate argument in a college course I was taking that involved, among other things, the women's liberation movement. I was stunned that no classmate had considered the argument. So, we assume that women's liberation means increased promiscuity. We also know the consequences of promiscuity, which include, among other things, STDS, AIDS, unwanted pregnancy, etc. My argument was simply, why are we racing to the bottom? In other words, if we don't like people who are promiscuous, given all of the shaming language we use, then we've collectively decided that it is a bad trait to have, similar to being addicted to illicit substances or being physically abusive to others. Why not, instead of "liberating" women through promiscuity, do we not encourage men and women to be better individuals (lift everyone up instead of racing to the bottom), including by not engaging in promiscuous behavior, which, incidentally, tends to lead to a whole host of horribles, not the least of which is date grape, particularly when women want to drink like men, but are not genetically predisposed to handle as much alcohol. I still ponder this, but I suspect I am in a very small minority.

[jasminkauranand]

I'm so so glad you spoke about this. It's crazy because I have complained about this to friends but not many can relate. I remember there was a guy I really liked and it was so obvious that all he wanted was to hook up and have s*x. He claimed to be my "friend" but I am pretty sure friends don't use people for s*x and completely dismiss their feelings. He would call me boring and a p*$$y for not wanting to hook up with him instantly and wanting to take things slow. I did end up "hooking up" with him in the end and I seriously regret it. I thought it would maybe make him like me back but not only did it not work, but it scarred me. I now can't possibly imagine enjoying s*x and I emotionally distance myself from people assuming they just want to hook up. If you are young and you're considering this, please re-think! It can ruin your self image and future experiences.

[atharvajoshi]

Thankfully I got a good content creator like you in my feed a year back.

[nathantang]

If you really think about this, this is why people should wait until marriage. It’s such an intimate act that only reaches its full potential when the people can give themselves fully to each other, which can only happen within marriage

[Farhaan_Enigmatic]

You are just the best ❤ Bringing up topics which are slow poison to the society which are not spoken much about and taken casually among people is much needed :-) Truth spoken 💯🙌🏻

[blum]

A big part of guys sleeping around is the game aspect (they are of course called “players”). What Pokémon can you catch this week and how much fun can you have with them?

Some people look forward to the weekend for drugs. Some for gambling Some for sports. Some for sex. All have consequences.