If Malls Were Honest | Honest Ads

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00:00 manscaped ad
01:19 if malls were honest

Target photo by Mike Kalasnik from Wikimedia under CC BY-SA 2.0
Uno Pizzeria photo by Anthony92931 from Wikimedia under CC BY-SA 3.0
McDonald's photo by Random Retail from Wikimedia under CC BY-SA 2.0

[zackryder]

As an actual Mall Security Officer I cannot CONFIRM nor deny the accuracy

[ninjaninja]

Those of us old enough to remember when the mall was a focal point of social activity.

Completely packed food court, every location had a store in it, live performers, all the walkways and halls were filled with people going places. You could walk around the mall and see friends, family, teachers, classmates and co workers all in the same place.
The thing I miss the most was the Old School arcade. Plopping your quarter down on the machine to signify "I got the next game/I challenge the winner". Crowds gathered around a machine as some crazy kid managed to beat it for the first time, or when a heated match in a fighting game was going down.

Walking through one now, feels like walking through ancient ruins.
Nothing but ghosts and memories.

[charlesflohr]

“Hemorrhaging tenants like a blood splatter from a decapitated samurai in a Kurosawa film” is a brilliant phrase.

[orly]

I used to work as a mall security officer about 8 years ago for an outlet mall. The management was actually extremely chill to work with but everyone above them was a soulless, corporate drone in a suit - and it made sense, because it was SIMON Corporation. There were 'premium suites' like Polo Ralph Lauren that actually got precedent over other stores because they were willing to shell out the cash for special treatment.

[MasterD]

"We're also trying to figure out how we got that car in here." 😄

[GreedoGangrene]

that tile work hasn't been replaced since the 80's

[bigcrowfly]

Left out the masked shoplifters clearing out the Macy's by the rack.

[ravenlorans]

They Forgot "Mall Walkers".... Those Things that get there Super Early and Do a Fast Walk, Swinging their Arms and wearing Bandanna's and Wrist Weights...

[THEEND]

My town turned the local Mall into “Luxury Apartments”. Basically divided every store space in 2 and made them into apartments with rent starting at $2, 000 a month plus utilities.

[alyxgraff]

As a constant follower of the Dead Malls of Discord collective i can in fact confirm that malls started dying the 2nd investment firms like Simon Property stopped treating malls like indoor town squares & started treating malls like real estate to pass money around between rich corpos.

[LuigiCotocea]

You know you're in a modern mall when finding a parking spot is a treasure hunt, and half your day is spent navigating a maze of stores you've never heard of, interspersed with the same three fast food joints on every corner. And good luck finding a bench that isn't occupied by someone charging their phone like it's a life support system.

Once inside, it's like entering a labyrinth designed to trap you into buying things you didn't know you needed. The layout makes less sense than a conspiracy theory, with signs that might as well be hieroglyphics. And why does every store have to blast music like it's competing in a DJ battle?

Don't get me started on the food court. It's a battlefield of overpriced mediocrity, where choosing between a sad excuse for pizza or a soggy burger is the toughest decision you'll make all day. And let's not forget the joy of standing in line behind someone who wants to pay for their $5 coffee with a check from 1998.

Oh, and the endless sea of teenagers taking selfies in front of every reflective surface? It's like they think they're auditioning for America's Next Top Model in the middle of a shopping trip.

But hey, at least the AC works, right?

[lhfirex]

I remember shopping malls in Japan. Probably similar behind the scenes as American malls, but they were less devastated by Amazon.

[KingofGoblins]

As someone from spain, to me malls are a place to watch the cinema, with a floor of fast food, 2 floors of stores to skip, and at the bottom, a place to buy cheaper food alternatives that you can try to get into the cinema.
A very long time ago it was about the gaming rooms, the boling area, lots of interesting stores, and even the seasonal event... dunno when all that changed.

[TeaBurn]

If they ever come to a point that a mall loses all tenants...they could always convert them into old folks retirement homes.

[elizabethdavis]

Please consider doing a video on private equity!

[RicksTravelogue]

"We'll have you screaming for your Auntie Ann" - well played.

[vgtrp]

“Where dreams go to die Mall”, sounds like my local mall.

[williamroberts]

The new mall where 2/3 escalators are not functioning

[metalgamingwarrior]

I grew up in these traditional malls. The best part of my life was childhood.

[inkuna]

When I was a kid my Grandpa and I used to have silly play fights over the pronunciation of Target while waiting for Grandma to finish her shopping. I used to think he was off his rocker for calling it "Tarjey". Thank you for bringing back those fond memories.