If Grocery Store Commercials Were Honest - Honest Ads

Grocery stores are better at screwing with your head than they are keeping their shelves stocked.

Honest Ads Honest Commercials commercial parody were honest

[ZivaLuthor]

"Shop from us, or starve."

Why isn't that slogan used by an actual grocery store yet?

[samualjohnson]

His smile while saying horrible things is priceless

[CCsCircus]

Ha counter clockwise circle? I just go back and forth in a confused pattern.

[anarcoyote]

Don't worry, the food cages do get cleaned regularly...

...when they're left out in the parking lot while it's raining.

[wayneigoe]

Roger: "No one washes the food cages"
2020: "Hold my beer"

[Grey_Warden_Invasion]

Whoever says that people shop clockwise or counterclockwise has never seen me in a store. A headless chicken has a more coordinated path.

[GreatAffinityProductions]

Can we all agree this guy is a legend?

[BunniBuu]

The worst part about grocery stores that bothers me is that you can have 6 different brands of one product and they're all owned by the same company. At the store I work at, there are 8 brands of one thing, 7 of them are owned by Kroger and the last one is marked up nearly double the price so that no one would ever buy it.

[dogmosatchmo]

"Sweet and succulent tree fetuses"
I will never not think of this. EVER

[fmlAllthetime]

Worked at a grocery store for years, can confirm, depending on your store 85%-95% of this is true.

[kennylc]

Roger has convinced me to just live in my underground bunker and hunt my own food. Until he releases “if living in an underground bunker and hunting your own food we’re honest”

[CadleGomani]

"Buy some ocean meat that has a 66% chance of being the kinda fish it says it is" 😂 That hit me hard. Epic stuff, Rodger

[speedrunvids]

Grocery stores also always have essentials like bread, milk, and eggs in the very back. This is strategic in that it forces you to walk past other things along the way and persuade you to buy those things even though you only came for the essentials.

[michael_bullard]

Suddenly those people who bring their own bags don't seem so weird.

[JohnTK]

I work at a grocery store as a “janitor” (I’m not allowed to say that because it’s too “risky” for the store. I also can’t say “trash compactor” in front of customers). I have a few things I’d like to point out.

1) it is so true that people shop counter clockwise. It’s bizarre to watch.
2) on the subject of washing carts, that happens about twice a year using a high pressure hose similar in design to a fire truck. The little baskets never get washed, unless something nasty shows up inside.
3) in almost all cases, when a sign says “buy ten for the price of 5” or “2 for 6$”, the price applies to just one of that item. So if it says 10 for 10$, that actually means 1$ each, and it’s worded that way to make customers buy more. The only exception to this rule is with clippable coupons.
4) the bathrooms get a total scrub down 3 times a day. This includes sinks, toilets, baby changers, tampon dispensers, walls, etc. people are just incredibly messy, that’s why we have to clean the bathrooms 3 times a day.
5) NOBODY USES THE GODDAM ASHTRAYS. After a whole day of store operations, you’d be hard pressed to find more than 20 cigarettes in an ashtray. I suggest if you want to see where all the cigarettes actually end up, check in the cracks between the street and the curb, or along the sides of the building. And no, you can’t just let the cigarettes decompose. They don’t decompose well. The paper takes a whole day to rot away, leaving a white stain on the cement. The cloth interior often takes up to 2 weeks to totally decompose. So if you don’t actively pick up all the cigarettes out of the dead smoking bushes each night, they will remain there, growing larger in mass, until it’s too ugly to ignore.
6) plastic bags aren’t the issue, it’s people. People will always litter. If there were no plastic bags, people would just litter other shit instead.
7) paper bags are super expensive. More than 10 cents per bag where I live in Wisconsin. And we order in bulk of 100 bags per sack. And we go through about 15 sacks per week. Add that up, and it’s almost 15, 000 dollars in just paper bags purchased by the store EACH WEEK. This does not include the money spent to supply plastic bags as well. So please, don’t just grab 10 of them off the registers on your way out. If you want to take extra bags, you can purchase them at the register. Taking extra bags without paying for them does qualify as theft.

Now, I hope everyone here has now been educated properly. I’d love to hear other store worker experiences! Thank you and good night.

[wearyaxe]

This series is the only reason I watch cracked.

[virginiamoss]

I know why the counter-clockwise layout in the US. We drive on the right side of the road so that we internalize a tendency to veer right. When the pathway through the store begins to the right, we tend to be drawn to the right, but then the pathway takes us on a leftish circle; we continue to want to go right so we notice stuff to the right of the path. That makes us not miss stuff on that side. In the UK and Japan they drive on the left side of the road so the strategy is reversed for the same reasons.

[Canadia_Ball]

I've worked at Wal-mart for over two years and I use those date stickering guns on our baked goods, and never once have I ever placed a new date over an old one... instead, we reduce its price two days before the date, and then again one day before the date, and it always sells.

[Nebula]

If roger was real he would be the richest man in the world

[rosevampire]

“Soon to be rotten tree foetuses”
“Food cages”
“Ocean meat”