How to Deal With a Narcissist with Dr. Peter Malinoski

Happy (almost) Thanksgiving! This channel is all about finding and living out the joy in Catholic life, and with the holidays coming up, I wanted to give you some tools for dealing with family members who may have narcissistic tendencies. It’s a helpful skill to have in your tool belt, especially this time of year!

I’m so excited to share this conversation with my guest, Dr. Peter Malinoski. He is a clinical psychologist who is an expert in loving people out of narcissism. We talk about how to identify a narcissist, how to heal from narcissism, and how to find healing if you’ve been hurt by a narcissist. My hope is that you’re able to use this episode to maintain a fresh perspective going into the holiday season, where you might find yourself in social situations where this will be helpful!

And as always, don’t forget to like and share this video with a friend and subscribe to our YouTube channel so that you never miss an episode of the Chris Stefanick Show!

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[marilopez]

I am a devoted Catholic, but after decades of married life with a narcissist husband I had to become separated from him. For my own safety, spiritual and mental well being, I am happier than ever. I do pray for my husband and am very aware he suffers. I just could not continue to be with someone who extended his criticism to the people in the church, the choir directors, everything during the celebration of Mass. Mr. Malinowski has a beautiful way of exposing what a narcissist is and that they deserve good care. Living with someone like that is excruciating and agonizing, I nearly lost myself, my dignity as a human being I was definitely not respected. I am in peace and know that God the Father Almighty does not want the life I had with my husband. If he divorces me, I shall seek the process of annulment.

[sandykathawa]

I am a devout Catholic and I love my faith more than anything but I have to strongly disagree with most everything said in this video. I have been married for 31 years and in all that time I have been emotionally, verbally and mentally abused by this man who doesn't care about anyone but himself. And while I agree it's because of his own self-loathing, I have also noticed he doesn't lose any sleep over any of it. He neglects me and our children. He rages at everyone all the time and he thinks we were all put on this earth to serve him. We aren't people in his eyes, we are appliances or slaves. It took me all these years to realize that it wasn't me as he had convinced me. He lacks empathy for me and my children, especially when we need him the most. I can write a 100 page comment on all the ways he has abused us but that won't do any good because if you have not lived it (as I'm assuming this doctor hasn't as he's chuckling his way thru this video while millions are suffering), then you won't understand it. I think it is very wrong to create a video saying you can treat people with NPD because you CAN'T! I've tried everything with this man...loving him, taking care of him, providing him security, etc...in the moment if he has had his supply and he's in a good mood it may seem like he's receptive to it and possibly changing but the minute something doesn't go his way or someone slights him, we all become horrible, evil people in his eyes and he starts to rage and verbally abuse. On our last anniversary, he lied to me throughout the day while I was trying to make plans and at the last minute he tells me he's going out with his friends. Does this sound like someone who can be helped or even wants to be? He treats me and our kids with utter contempt. I am so disappointed with this video because people like me who are victims of this type of abuse tend to blame ourselves for everything and because our whole reality is shattered by these abusers we are never on level footing. I am 50 years old and my health is failing, every day has become a struggle and I mourn the life I thought I had and I mourn for my kids that they will never have the father they deserve. Instead their father is a man who only wants to take from them. I'm sorry, this video is completely wrong and so unempathetic to the plight of people going through this very debilitating form of abuse. Instead of calling these evil abusers out for what they are, it's asking people to treat the abuser as the victim. WHAT?? That will have devastating consequences for all the victims out there. And the advice he gives about not being unstabilized by their actions just means you have to live your life like a robot without love or empathy from your spouse or whoever the NPD person is in your life and who can live that way? I've been living like this for 31 years and me being unaffected by his treatment has not made him a better person or caused him to turn his life around. Instead, he turns around and starts abusing our kids when he can't get to me. This video is so irresponsible. I will pray for both of you.

[andio]

I actually made this discovery 💡 yesterday when dealing with a narcissist in my life. Now I see him as how our Lord sees him.

[rvosler]

I have to say that this is one of the best interviews I’ve heard about narcissism. I’m on A quest to forgive my ex-wife for her narcissistic tendencies and this really helps. All the crap on social media demonizes them and this just makes it easier to forgive her. I still pray everyday for her and her kids for healing as well as for me because I had a part in break up as well. Thanks Chris for doing this.

[No]

I was married to a violent Sociopath Narcissist who hurt me to the point of death. I loved him as best I could for 23 years. They DO NOT RESPECT THEIR SUPPLY. No one can help a Narcissist. This isn't true. I was on a constant rollercoaster. They won't t even go to therapy and he blamed me for it all. I had to leave to save my life and my kids.

[foxflower]

As a daughter of a narcissistic mother, the idea that the narcissist has never been seen, known, or loved by anyone doesn’t sit well with me. A child does love their parent unconditionally. A child does not have boundaries, though, so I understand how that element is crucial as the relationship grows. I found this video difficult to watch. I left feeling overwhelmingly guilty that if I just loved my mother more, was more patient with her, if I didn’t react to her abuse, then she would be "cured". A professional psychologist, like Dr. Peter, should be the only type of person who attempts that. Praying for her is something I can definitely do more of.

[KnightGeneral]

10:37 Sadly this happened to my Narc Mom, brother and sister but they’re still the same. They were so loved but that love that they received, they abuse it. And the person that gave them so much love, they abused her so bad. They never changed. I saw it all my life with my grandparents too. They’re still Narcs when they died. They do show to the people around them that they’re good people but its only for show. They can only be saved truly with God’s Mercy. For their victims, heal yourselves. If possible, heal yourselves away from the Narcs in your life.

Im in no contact with my family for months now and it is one of the best time of my life. Im healing. Thank God for people who work with Narc Victims.

[BrendenFlynn]

I just had divorce court with my wife. We have 6 small children, and she is a wicked narcissist. Completely ruined every aspect of my life. Except for my kids who I now have to fight for. Please pray for me.

[Marta-lhis]

weeell...sometimes they deserve that 'bad rap' they are getting! Their behavior can be destructive, soul killing. And behavior is a choice! They choose to inflict pain, hurt, shame, on others- often the most vulnerable- children. So, yeah, they have earned the bad rap. Maybe you are talking about people with narcissistic tendencies; not so far down on the spectrum. But when you are raised by an absolute malignant narc!...Yes, pray for them and understand their core, get healing for yourself, but always remember true narcs are 'people of the lie'. They CHOOSE this way of dealing with their inner shame and feelings of worthlessness. They are also very resistant to therapy and change. Let's not minimize this disorder and think there is a 'fix'.

[leonafanning]

Narcissists are evil Abusers of the highest order. I'm the survivor of 6ft heavy male narcissist Partner. He tried to make amends with a view to more by saying '"I'm not the devil". I was speechless. Narcissists fail to realise that abused women & children can sense the narcissist' s mood from anywhere in the home. BEST THING IS PRAY FOR THEM, forgive and more importantly let go of the INJUSTICE of the abuse. Fr Ripperger has this one nailed in 9ne of his videos. God bless all the survivors as it's a really long road to recovery. Trust your intuition and the red flags I believe it is God trying to you safe. ⚓🙏⚓

[michellek]

Love the prayer, "Dear Lord, show me what you want me to learn…"

[clouddancer]

Finally a talk I can listen to that is compassionate and kind and does not demoralize or objectify or label a human being. Thank you. Thank you for your studies and your prayers and your work

[dineshb]

Thank you Chris. Really loved this interview. It helped me understand myself much better and the reasons for my narcissism . Dr. Peter described me to the core and made me realise how difficult I can make things for people around me. I took my traits of Idealisation & Devaluations as being bipolar. Good to hear that there is hope

[gailschuldner]

Wow! Thanks for this topic!! My mother, God rest her soul, was a narcissist and I'm still coming to terms with how she treated me as a child and all my life. I'm at the point where I have forgiven her because I know she couldn't get the help she needed ($$$) and she just made the best life for herself that she could. She "injured" my dad, my brother and me. My poor dad had no idea what the problem was, my brother left our family many years' ago, and I'm praying that God takes her to Heaven, because she knew not what she did.🙏🏻🙏🏻❤️

[Lorraine]

As a therapist, I love how he ties the saints into the internal family systems therapy and psychology and loving yourself. I wish I could be this brilliant ❤

[TonyEspana]

Watching through many secular psychology videos online is makes it seem hopeless and even like many narcissists are lost causes, but this video was very informative, comforting and hopeful. Blessed be our God, Father, Son and Holy Spirit now and forever unto the ages of ages. ✝

[kimkocuba]

😢 i am a "survivor" of an N dad and he never changed so my wall has been up for a full year. It's sad at holidays, but you even said, "I'm uncomfortable just thinking about it."
I get physically ill thinking about it. This is so sad and so needed. I want to understand so I can pray for him. I saved the podcast, too, so I will be listening. I was totally triggered, but I needed to hear this in a safe place. I love that he said to be grounded and then can deal better. I am healing, and maybe someday i can open a screen door in the wall. 😉Thanks guys

[maicajapanmoments]

Thanks so much for this topic. As a testimonial one time a loved one and I are arguing and my loved one is saying names. i just mumbled “praise the Lord” until my Loved one suddenly asked “what are you saying?!” In an elevated voice “Praise the Lord! is what I said!” And my loved one shut up and calmed down 😅

[paularodrigues]

This is a problem my siblings and I have dealt with all our lives as well as my mother.
My dad is impossible to be around. He is angry 24/7 and offends everyone. He believes he is the greatest human on this earth meanwhile, no one likes him. I pray and ask God to soften my dads heart so that I can be there to help him as he grows older.🙏❤

[KarenWilliams-fd]

I tried to deal with my narcissistic husband, for 37 yrs. When I became afraid for my safety, I finally walked away - and he died by suicide, within hours of me moving out. I wish there had been more information, like this, that I could have accessed - instead of trying to navigate things on my own.