The Importance of Physical Intimacy in Neurodiverse Relationships #autism

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[treefish]

I feel love very strongly as an autistic person and that love manifests in me often wanting to touch, hug, and kiss people even if I don’t love them romantically

[Brooke_Corbyn]

I find its also pretty common to have the opposite in neurodiverse physical intimacy: enjoying hugs and hand holding in many situations, but not sex. If this doesnt match for you as a neuridiverse person, dont worry, thats also completely normal. What autistic people tend to have in common is that sensory needs play some sort of role in phsycial intimacy, but how that presents will be unique to you

[authenticthreads]

AuDHD. Physical affection is part of my dopamine factory. Without it I’m only semi-functional.

[danielthedude]

That's quite interesting to think about honestly. I'm on the spectrum myself but I go about it slightly differently. My response to physical touch changes depending on who I'm around and when it's someone like that I happen to like it a lot since I understand what the touching is meant to convey. I absolutely cannot stand when some random person or acquaintance touches me out of nowhere but I would be completely fine (if maybe a bit startled for a half second) and would most likely reciprocate and enjoy that with my partner.

[aliciaparker]

Kelly, I love your videos, so I say this with complete respect for what you do.

I think this example of the difference between ND and NT is too stereotypical. For instance, I am autistic but my primary love language is Touch. My husband is not on the spectrum, but my constant touches annoyed him until we learned about love languages.

In some ways, this isn't always a Neurotypical vs Neurodivergent issue, but simply different love languages.

Again, I really do love your videos. I just have a different perspective on this particular topic and wanted to share.

Thanks for all you do.

[FIFAace]

My girlfriend and I are both autistic and physical intimacy is very high on our list of needs. So we're super compatible, more so than anyone else I've met 😊

[DuskyZenith]

As a touch starved autistic woman, physical intimacy is a must and is one of few things I discovered to be profoundly important to settling my anxiety.
Being close to that person you love dearly, even if it’s hand holding or quality time together can erase all those negative vibes instantly. 😊

[kirsikka]

My ADHD part wants touch and sex all the time. But autistic part is very selective who will be accepted.

[segwrites]

It is an extremely interesting situation. At least prior to meeting my husband, it was very much so “don’t touch me. I’ll touch you when I’m down for sex” kind of relationships. But, for some crazy reason, touch with my husband is my love language WITH HIM. I am eager for him to touch me any time he’s nearby. I can’t keep my hands off him, still, and we’re nearing 15 years together. That desire to be touched and touch him has probably strengthened over time—so strange to me.

But, the same goes for really close friends, too. I *want* to hug them, whereas with other people: Just stay away, please.

Oh, hubs is a fellow AuDHDer, too. He likes touch, as well, but he has to be in a good mood and headspace. For me, when I’m low, I “need” touch from him/to touch him. When I’m feeling fine, I just enjoy touching playfully, even: A little tush pat when passing, etc.

I guess it’s perfectly summarized with the saying: “When you’ve met one Autistic person, you’ve met ONE Autistic person.” 😅

[winternightmarecrochet]

I enjoy physical affection but in a very limited way. I tolerate it from very few people, and I have to be in the mood for it, sensorywise.

[AquaPeet]

I like touches but it can surprise and overwhelm me since I'm very sensitive.

A girl grabbing my hand felt so good that at that moment that I misread her intentions. It was just grabbing me to run across the street before the light went red, nothing more.

Or an aunt that I realy like that is happy I was there to visit and she stroked my back up and down a few times saying, let me get you a coffee dear!
I didn't expect it, I was stunned for a few seconds, but it felt really loving and made me feel warm and happy inside.

[naymeequillo]

There was a child in our daycare centre, a two year old cutest-ever little boy who absolutely could not STAND being hugged. He did love headbutting people like a cat though and if he really liked you, you could give him scritches behind the ears like a cat. He did love that. He absolutely would not tolerate any other kind of touch though. Benefit of that was he was pottytrained at 11 months, and could put all of his own clothes on and off at one and a half years. Great kid.

[JohnBrown-ignc]

I'm ND but I like physical affection

[bungalowfeuhler]

My partner and I are both autists. We basically can’t keep our hands off eachother. But it’s completely innocent. I just love feeling like somebody understands me and I suspect they love me even more than I love them. No mental games, no lies, just straightforward and pure and real. It’s the only thing I’ve ever wanted.

[time-mars]

For me, I enjoy deep pressure as a form of physical intimacy, so I tend to like hugs and the horizontal tango more than other physical things

[annette]

Yeah I’m just going to go out on limb and say there may not be a difference between ND and NT physical intimacy preferences purely because on a human scale it’s just to diverse in either group to find a trend.

[Ann]

I am autistic, but I am very physically affectionate and sexual. I love to touch and be touched by certain people. I acknowledge part of it is a reaction to how I was raised and being undiagnosed for most of my life. But I believe that the way my sensory perceptions are wired, I really need extra input in these ways. I think autistic people often tend demonstrates the extremes of every sensory perception; in fact, this is the key to my personal opinion of what autism is: having a sensory reality that is statistically significant outside the neurotypical standard deviation which impacts cognitive and linguistic development, socialization, and communication.

[FaeChild]

I'm AuDHD, and I've found that Im very touchy when I like someone or am comfortable with them (it doesnt even have to be romantic)

[Natsuki.Muramoto]

I have ADHD and I'm the opposite, I love physical intimacy, it's my love language but sex is a no go for me. Don't really know why it's just never interested me and kinda repulses me! 😅


I like to think of myself as a sensual person not a sexual one!

[nickb]

i think i have "typical" physical intimacy needs but ive never had them met properly so i dont really know for sure. maybe im just touch starved and ill balance out as i get more comfortable.