The Trouble With The Golden Rule | Brendan Schulz | TEDxYorkU

The Golden Rule: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you” is something many of us learned as children. In fact, many cultures have a similar version. This talk will explore the limitations of the rule with regard to equity, diversity, cross-cultural communications and inclusion. An updated rule will be introduced along with the conditions necessary to fulfill it.

Brendan Schulz has a 20 year career in corporate and higher education settings focused on Organization Development, Change Management, Strategy, Human Resources, Facilitation, Training and Student Affairs. His industry experience includes Banking, Retail and High Tech with roles in International Relations, International Services and Workplace Diversity. His experience in Higher Education has been focused in Student Affairs including international student services and transition programs for first-year students. Currently he works as the Executive Director, Strategy and Planning in the Division of Students at York University and teaches Managing Across Cultures in the Schulich School of Business. He has traveled to 49 countries on five continents, 22 of which were for business purposes and has lived in Canada, Germany, Ireland and Turkey.

[BrooksGibbs]

Hey buddy, great job speaking. I think you have made a slight mistake in your interpretation of the Golden Rule. There is no need for a platinum or silver rule. The Golden Rule makes provision for your concern if you just think a little deeper.

You are saying that the Golden Rule means: "If I like blue ties, and you like red ties, my gift to you would be a blue tie."

Or in other words, you are suggesting that the Golden Rule instructs me to give you the gifts I want, but not what you want or what is best for you.

This of course is an infantile understanding of the Golden Rule. It will only take five seconds for you to think a wee bit deeper and correct your thinking about this genius rule.

The Golden Rule actually instructs you to consider how someone else wants to be treated! So If I like blue ties and I know you like red ties, the rule instructs me to treat you how I want to be treated. I will give you the tie you want, because I would want you to give me the tie that I want. Did you catch that?

No need to spend your energy on fixing something that was never broken.

Consider your example of the children trying to look over the fence to see the game. The golden rule instructs us to help every child see the game using one, two, or three blocks. The Golden Rule says nothing about equality. It actually instructs us to use whatever moral means to accomplish the desired end that we would want for ourselves, if that's what they want!

Of course, the "platinum" rule is a common challenge to the Golden Rule. Many people have made your point. And many more have made mine. It seems like this misunderstanding will always be around. I wonder (psychologically) what is at the root of the challenge.

[ct]

The Golden Rule is a great baseline for getting along with people. That first step of empathy is at the heart of real connection. It's not failsafe, but it's always a good start to living honorably, and making a productive relationship.

[tammariingalls]

The Golden Rule is not about equity, equality, or fairness. It's about empathy. That's the simple beauty of it. It's really too bad that Brandon's hubris got in the way of understanding that.

[dendritedigital]

A different issue I have with the golden rule is it is only interpersonal.
It has nothing to do with the greater universe, like my commandment...
"Love." is a one-word commandment to always do good.

[Valandor_Celestial_Warlock]

It's simple: Treat other people the way they want to be treated.

[tinagvardanyan]

How do you suppose a masochist would have you do onto them? The platinum rule would suggest that you inflict pain and humiliation onto them. What about an addict? What would they have you do onto them? This rule, my friends, is entirely non therapeutic, opportunistic and insane!
The Golden rule doesn't need revision. People's interpretation of it does!

[josephstalin]

Do onto others as they have onto you is a much better rule

[alethealenning]

Realization of the difference of interpreting The Golden Rule brings question on the intentions of the individual who founded this concept. My personal translation gave consideration not only to self desire of conduct directed toward myself but also the desired conduct received by another individual. The Golden Rule teaches to "do unto others as you want done unto you, " so I made the assumption that since I want others to consider my emotional involvement that I should take into account the feelings of another individual. Personal preference will differ from individual to individual so it is important to communicate intentions when engaging a stranger. This philosophy was instilled to me at a very young age. Not only was the definition taught and the observation expected but the proper etiquette to conduct was detailed and practiced involving different circumstances. In this lecture the distance to stand across from another was discussed to be attained through observation; however, my upbringing did in fact entail being verbally told the proper distance which is arm's length away. It is concerning that this rule was relayed to developing minds without the etiquette. Seems society lost it in translation.

[Keyfer]

Applying the golden rule means that I will be thoughtful and courteous in my dealings with others. The illustration of treating each kid of different heights the same is not the golden rule in action. The thoughtful goal is for each kid to see the game.
The platinum rule would work also if I don’t impose my desire on someone else.

[chetanbhati]

This is more of a silver rule than platinum! Do unto others, as they would have do unto them - in other words - Respect other's needs. The Golden rule version of this statement would be - 'Respect others' needs if you wish them to respect yours'
 which is a more complete (and also has a greater wisdom hidden inside it.)

[markbrad]

The Platinum Rule 'Do unto others as they would have you do unto them' fits with Non Violent Communication(NVC) Skills stuff. An older expression of it is put yourself in their shoes. The Golden rule is still OK though for basic moral standards without getting into diverse needs.

[michaeldougfir]

First of all, the Golden Rule being supported in Scripture, I am not inclined to modify it. We have many ideas that are not working because the Bible is not well understood and complied with.

I am a Westerner (USA) and have lived and worked in the American East. There is a different cultural expectation in the East about the distance between people who are conversing. They like to get closer than I am comfortable with. However, I did try to go with it, assuming that the closeness meant something to them. They don't see the effort. Also, when I asked some Easterners about this, most of them wondered why it was the subject of conversation. I don't think you can win unless you let them get in your face, and pretend it's OK.

On the other hand, in the East they have the lovely and hospitable practice of just dropping over when they want to visit. And they hope you will do the same. Whereas, here in the West we prefer a phone call first. I remember when, in the 1950s & '60s it was OK to just drop over in a Western context too. I appreciate that Easterners are ready and willing to host people and share time with them. In this they have the upper hand.

[satorimystic]

The only thing wrong with the golden rule is its interpretation and its application. Let's not over-think so much, but ground ourselves with a deeper and open-minded under-standing.

[josealgoso]

To keep it simple, how about making it "DO NOT DO TO OTHERS WHAT YOU DO NOT WANT OTHERS DO UNTO YOU"...

[nchershey]

I completely disagree. I’m glad he points out that equality and fairness are not the same thing. But where he wants equal outcomes for every person, the problem is that not every puts in equal output. Your outcomes should be the result of your output. His platinum rule is covered by a better understanding of the golden rule. You don’t know what they would want you to do for them but once you learn that then you do that. He’s on the right track but he’s limiting the golden rule in order to expand it. You want others to treat you the way you want to be treated and part of that is learning how others want to be treated. That’s still part of the golden rule. The platinum rule becomes redundant. He’s just starting to understand the golden rule by getting into his platinum rule

[marwar]

Don't sweat the small stuff. Grow by learning to roll with it.

[christiansoldier]

The Platinum rule is wrong because what if somebody wants me to buy them drugs? Am I supposed to give them what they want according to the Platinum rule?

[dawnhilty]

I will treat people the way I want to be treated. This rule is for world wide- not work place where our lives intertwine. That is an entirely different dynamic

[goldenrule]

The spirit of the guideline is to be thoughtful and considerate of the feelings of others. Perhaps one person would be unhappy if I dragged them into a group of people at a party. Another would be happy. In interpret it as my mother always told me. "Put yourself into the other person's shoes before you act, and try your best to see how you can serve the greater good. A good place to at least start, is to consciously consider if what you are doing would hurt you. If so, it's probably a good idea to reconsider your action." So for me, it's all about being awake and considerate of the ripples I create.

[gh]

No, the Golden Rule calls on us to love one another. That takes into consideration culture, equity, diversity and inclusion. His Platinum Rule does not cut it; love does.