The Untold Truth about Being Gifted: The Very Real Challenges

Procrastination, loneliness, imposter syndrome, and social issues are just of few of the challenges I cover in this video. While not every gifted person will experience all of these challenges, it's important that we stay informed so that we can better help our kids!

Resources
Websites:

Podcasts:

Books:
Living With Intensity edited by Susan Daniels, Ph.D. and Michael M. Piechowski, Ph.D.
Parenting Gifted Kids by James R Delisle, Ph.D.

Helpful YouTube Videos:

Chapters:
00:00 Intro
01:17 Disclaimers
02:57 The Dreadful Duo
04:43 I'm an Alien
05:12 Social Issues
09:47 I'm Friendless
11:42 Existentiality
12:50 Depression Etc.

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Hi Guys!
I am Kathleen S. Lewis, a homeschool graduate and former public accountant career woman turned homeschool mom. I love all things learning and would love to help you with your own learning journey. My own experience being homeschooled throughout my childhood greatly impacts my choices for my kids' homeschool journey, so you'll see some frequent references to how I felt about things as a homeschooled kid. I have also been on a journey myself with my recent discovery of my own giftedness as well as my 4 year old son's, so I hope what I share about that encourages and inspires you as well!

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Books on Giftedness:
Living With Intensity edited by Susan Daniels, Ph.D. and Michael M. Piechowski, Ph.D.
Parenting Gifted Kids by James R Delisle, Ph.D.

[Joelswinger]

I wish there were more content directed at gifted adults rather than just children.

[lav]

I started crying violently in public while watching this because it validates so much of my experience especially the difficulty finding people who match you, think like you, feeling alien, masking etc :( thanks so much for this

[prschuster]

Sometimes I wonder if giftedness can be mistaken for autism because of the difficulty with communication. Add being Introverted and Intuitive (IN...MBTI type), and that adds to the social disconnect. This really makes it hard to explain myself in a conversation. I can name a few pieces of evidence for my opinion, but then I have to painstakingly show, one by one, how each piece of the puzzle fits with all the others. Other people think in a straight line. I think in a zig zag. I can get lonely by myself, but it's even lonelier being around people I can't connect with.

[legalfictionnaturalfact]

It's easy to end up being the leader of a group... And then kind of seen as a parent. Almost like you're there to ruin their good time. When you're the voice of reason. Doesn't matter if you have a wild streak too. You're just seen as a wet blanket. Then years later, some folks come back to apologize You're just like yeah... I saw this train wreck going in slow motion. What can you do.

[thaisjacoesoares]

Check, check, check, check all of them. Thank you for sharing.

[SoniaJbrt]

I identify with everything said, except no substance abuse but get addicted to challenging puzzle games and constantly have to delete the games. Also I have a good self esteem thanks to my parents and all Glory to God! I struggle with feelings of depression, wishing and praying that Jesus can come for His Church because this life feels so meaningless...

[helensusansouchie]

Hi Kathleen, I'm from Brazil, and I just want to say that you described me in great detail in this video! I've been going through a lot recently, and then I discovered giftedness. Your video helped me realize I'm not alone. Thank you for sharing your story with us! God bless you.✨

[sam_i_am_.]

The issue I have had is that because I am somewhat well spoken, people don't always take me seriously when I tell them that I am struggling with my mental health. The feedback I have received at times was incredulous. "For a depressed person you sure do explain things well."
"For somebody who's having such a hard time, you really don't sound like it when you talk."

[elsiemae]

With my 8 yo, fortunately that “big picture thinking, ” helps her keep perspective. Teachers become more critical of social mistakes the better you “blend in, ” but we remember daily that she isn’t there for her teachers.

The more successful you become at social interactions, the more invisible that work is, especially new teachers. It is an inverse reward system: most humans derive benefits from social success, where socially-challenged individuals are punished for their success with ever increasing scrutiny, criticism, and demands to do better in the form of increased workload. Humans respond to reward instead of punishment as a general rule. Punishments for success are demoralizing and depressing.

She may be gifted, but she may as well be playing an away game with jet lag.

[GrandmaEllen]

Wow. I turn 70 next month (Oct. 2024) and this is like you describe my interior life completely. AND a lot of overlaid trauma, too. Wow.

[chiappim]

Hi there. I am a brazilian gifted, and I found out it only a few months ago, since my 10 years-old son started having lots of problems at school, until we took him to a psychologist and discovered he is gifted.
Since then, I watched literally all the videos about giftness in Portuguese, and now I am watching in English and French. And each video I find something new that I didn't know.
I had the very same bad experiences as you did, and I am not happy for that, but it's a relief knowing the reason, and also I am not alone.

[christinawilson]

This is my son, who is now in college, 100 %!!! I shared this with him.

[ivananikolic]

Thank you and God bless you... It's not only about the accuracy of the giftedness challenges description. It's also about all your compassion that is a true gift for us who listen. This video moved me to tears as I am once again in my life at that point where I need to figure out how to make the best and overcome the challenges of giftedness...

[-whiskey-]

I’m Autistic with an IQ between 125-130. It’s rare find people I can connect with and relate to. I feel all of these. I never believe all the praise and/or compliments I get. I always feel like no, I’m not that good, I could be better and because I’m not better, I’m not good lol When I talk to people they always tell me how intelligent I am, that I’m wise well beyond my years, praise my musical talent, my vivid memory, even things going back to childhood describing events and places with exact details. Due to the ASD, I’m always learning and educating myself. My wife is always saying I’m so smart and I make her feel stupid because she can’t comprehend how I cram so much knowledge in my head in such a short amount of time. Im not bragging either. It feels like a curse half the time. Im so misunderstood, it’s hard to make friends. People tend to think I’m just a know it all because I typically always have a solution or correct answer for things they find difficult to grasp. Being both Autistic and having high intellectual capabilities while basically being socially r*tarded sucks and is lonely af. Especially with the downfalls of the Autism that limit me in certain ways. It’s really a hellish existence for me. And i have ADHD and BPB as comorbidities with the ASD…shit sucks with my mental health. It’s a lot to deal with. I feel like a loser in some aspects because it holds me back. No one in my little rural southern area gets me. And not in a mean way, but they’re all relatively low IQ. Barely literate, always drinking, cant pronounce a lot of words right, struggle with basic math, cant comprehend abstract ideas or anything. I get looked at like I’m from another planet, or like I’m insulting them somehow.

[camillalima]

The thing you said about "speaking your native tongue" is real. OMG

[carlkim]

This is 100% me! Especially the skip thinking and processing speed. And learning social scripts to keep going, and playing a small portion of my mind to pay attention until it's time for me to express myself.

[Dhruvbala]

You also learn to expect success by virtue of natural talent alone, without having to struggle for it. This becomes a problem later in life

[stevedavenport]

Based on my raw IQ score, I am not considered gifted....however, I do share many of the qualities of gifted people and score in the lower range of genius in 2 subsets of IQ.

Yes, exactly. When I meet somebody who is at my IQ level or higher, it does indeed feel like meeting a fellow native speaker of my language.

I get so excited and engage in sone serious verbal diarrhea, bouncing from one engaging topic to another. 😊

[vaniatse]

Thank you for your video. It's comforting to know we are not alone, but understanding myself in this way doesn't seem to make things any easier and I continue to find life (relations with people) incredibly painful. One area in particular is the gifted curse of have a heightened and more nuanced perception of fairness and justice - it's out of sync with most people who, for example, would choose to defend one person who is a friend over righting something that is unfair to others at the expense of the friend that has been benefiting from the injustice thus far. It leads to being ostracized by peers who cannot see or refuse to acknowledge the inequity. It leads to being bullied. In one instance, this characteristic almost became an asset, as I was recruited for a job that fought for social justice...but one jealous person in a position of power managed to convince a whole committee of people to oust and vilify me to sabatoge my chance of getting the job. Though the job description called for social justice, I realized later that the politics of getting and keeping the job did not, and in fact required quite the opposite. One way to deal with this curse would be to just not care anymore and give up or let go; go with the flow. However, the cognitive dissonance of witnessing and letting inequities persist is like a shredding of the soul and leads to feeling like a coward just too chicken to do the right thing - which lowers my sense of self worth and makes me feel miserable. There is no winning. Anyway, I don't know if you have an answer for this, or if you can relate, but I wouldn't mind hearing your thoughts. If I'm so gifted and smart, why can't I find a solution? All I can find is perpetual frustration, anger, and deep sadness.

[kenz]

Omg…you summed it up perfectly! All 15minutes and the one second explained what it’s like to a T.

I wonder if there a place besides the typical spaces to meet other folx organically