WOMEN are making society POLYGAMOUS: the surprising consequence of female success

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Without conscious intention, women are making society increasingly polygamous. This is a provocative statement, but some of the data bear it out. According to the General Social Survey, one in three men under 30 have not had sex in the previous year -- while only one in six women under 30 have done the same. This creates a ratio of 5 sexually active women to 4 sexually active men in this important age group. Put another way: about 20% of women under 30 are in a polygamous relationship -- whether they're aware of it or not.

Orion is a licensed psychologist in the state of California.
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#dating #polygamy #women
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I will sum this phenomenon up in the simplest terms possible. A woman would rather share a ride in a Rolls Royce than have her own Kia. And as long as this is the case, there's going to be a lot of cars not driven.

modickens
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My marriage lasted 23 years. I’m alone now with zero interest in relationships, and I can honestly say my soul has never been this much at peace and content.

jakesdekker
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You’re right about men needing more support. There’s a university that recently rejected a bunch of guys that were trying to start a men’s rights group and they were labelled “misogynist”! This is the kind of support that men are getting these days

GFD_VIDEOS
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My company allows each employee to select a charity to donate towards every year. I tried to find one that supported men and couldn’t find a single one. Almost every single gender neutral one I found had some program dedicated towards helping women, let alone the ones that were solely dedicated to women. That told me everything I needed to know about how society values supporting men.

adrianhui
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As a male teacher, I can say that it starts with nurturing boys and not boxing them into the ‘sit down and follow’ school culture that girls are so good at. Let boys build, brawl, break stuff, explore, whittle, camp, fish, shoot, and be rowdy!

tablab
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I'm 28. I can affirm that women in my generation are constantly sharing men, some know, some don't. They normalized situationships which make them feel like they aren't getting cheated on but they know that guy has other women in his rotation

prestonjones
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Our forefathers understood this, which is why they enforced monogamy on each other. They didn't just sit back and let society be ruined by this predictable biological factor. Modern day men won't enforce monogamy on each other, because we've been programmed to idolize men with higher social status than us and cheer them on as they run their harems. It's pathetic.

AV
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It’s easy men, just be tall, rich, smart, college educated, good looking, witty, very confident, fit, good in bed, well groomed, a good dresser, dominant, but not too dominant .. and charismatic. If you’re missing anyone one of these elements you’re at risk of being cast aside as a loser and not mate material. See? Modern women aren’t looking for much.

genxtechguy
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I'm almost 44 and have never been married and don't plan on ever getting married. The best thing men can do if they are having a difficult time finding a partner is stop fixating on it and focus on making your single life as good as possible. This will actually give you the best chance of finding someone and if you don't you'll at least have your life worked out.

ClellBiggs
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Combine this with a lot of men are waking up to how screwed they get in marriage. When a woman can leave anytime and take the kids and all your finances, then the power is greatly skewed against men. The monogamy model is doomed unless we change the divorce laws

helieasy
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We removed the old social rules but didn't make anything new to replace them. All these dysfunctional dynamics are inevitable.

ethanmoon
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As a man, I think it's necessary to hold off any desire for a relationship with a woman. The economy of sex between the sexes is too screwed up for me to care about anymore.

demonicaxeman
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For years, my entire adult life really, I've railed against the shallow nature of dating and "what women want" and all that garbage, reading and watching pickup stuff and whatever else. I wanted to believe in some idealistic notion of love, commitment, devotion and all of that. But there's just no way around it. The notions about love we've sold each other in movies, books, and mass culture are all hollow meaningless crap. It's purely a game of resources and "what can I get out of this".

spacevspitch
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Men are told they have had it too good and deserve nothing. Meanwhile we pay taxes that are used to help the less fortunate, corporations, and women. If you are a man you are on your own and no one is going to help you. The sooner we understand that, the better things will be. I can't wait for the articles how a large percentage of women missed their window to have a family. Of course they will blame men. It's not like women to take responsibility for their actions.

Mid-AirMan
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My wife died 4 years ago. There was a 30 something woman at my job whom I was friends with and two years after my wife died, I tried to take my relationship with this woman further than friends. Her response to me was:
1. She wanted to be alike a man and sleep with as many guys as she could before she settled down.
2. She said that she knew I was a "serious relationship type guy" and if she started dating me, she would want to settle down and marry me, and she was not ready for that.
3. I did not check off every "box" for her ideal man, so she would be settling for me, regardless. (The three boxes that I didn't check off - she wanted a man near her age - I'm 12 years older, she wanted a man who never had had a serious relationship (she never had one last longer than three months) - and she wanted a man who had no kids. (I have three, they are adults now.)
4. She could not control me or manipulate me, so she could not be sure that I wouldn't leave her for a better woman. (She transferred the idea of hypergamy on to me!!! Also, it could be argued that she saw me as a top 10%er and so she wouldn't have me exclusively to herself, thus always afraid that I would slide up and over and drop her. I take it as a weird backhand compliment.)
5. Because of all the above, she would lose "her voice" in the relationship and not have any of her needs, wants, desirers met. So that tells me that she really does not know/understand the idea of compromise in a relationship. Since she self identifies as a Feminist I can understand that last one.
6. What killed my interest in her, we had not seen each other in about two years. We talked on the phone and texted at least once, usually twice a week. We finally got our work schedules to coincide for a date. We saw each other, and she kept shit testing me and setting me up to give her tingles. Now we had been talking as friends and then as more for around 7 years at that point. The fact that she still wanted me to give her tingles and she was loyalty testing me after all of that time showed me that she was not/did not know how to have a healthy relationship. The tingles are good if you just want to hook up, but tingles go away, and if you don't how to regulate than you will never have a good relationship - you will always look for the tingles. After 7 years, I felt that we were way beyond the tingles point - and that if she was looking for tingles from me, then she was not at a place I could start a meaningful relationship at.
She has lost the power to pair bond with a mate, and due to her girl power beliefs has never really considered the male view as important. I really liked this woman and I feel bad for her and her future. Especially knowing that she is doing this to herself based off of a false belief system that even she can see is not in her best self-interest, but she has followed too far and has damaged herself too much to stop now. How many more are like her out there?

danielserene
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I’m 43. The door closed on women, for me, when they started demanding more and more, but offering less and less. Yeah, it means less sex. BUT, it also means more peace of mind.

brianpayne
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I'm glad my Mom taught me not to be promiscuous and to never date promiscuous men. I was never brought up to think that sleeping with someone who isn't my husband to be a good thing. While I am college educated, it was not important me to date only college educated men because the way the man treats me is the #1 thing needed to sustain a relationship. At least, that is what I was taught and I still believe this. However, it's also important that I treat my boyfriend/husband well. Perhaps the most important thing to consider is that there is no perfect boyfriend/spouse and very often the grass looks greener until one actually sees the weeds. I'm pretty sure that neither men nor women should be written off because they did not attend university. A man's character is vastly more important than his degree or salary. I have four brothers and they are all good men.

reginasemenenko
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Women don't even seem to realize that they are doing it. I dated a woman who was very poly and the relationship failed. She got married a few months later to a guy who wanted an open marriage and she slept with hundreds of guys while he watched and pursued a handful of women. The marriage, oddly, failed.
She contacts me and says she's sorry she didn't realize the benefits of monogamy. We tentatively talk about getting back together but then she says she has a guy on the side that she doesn't want to get rid of. And another and wants a few more BUT she's totally into monogamy.
I screwed my head back on straight and walked away. They don't change. Once that door opens they want more and more and more and nothing a single guy can give will be enough.

ChapMeifan
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I think this also contribute to male suicide rate. Think about if you are 30, and you have fewer friends than before, and you are always friendzoned, and you work everyday like an ant, if feels like you are nothing and you deserve nothing. And these bad days won't end till you die.

mycheung
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Dear gentlemen, learn to deeply let go. Never get married; work hard on your inner being and love yourselves; be financially independent; build your life based on your true passions. Appreciate your life every second.

GustavoDiazV