DNA Family Secrets: Do I have any donor conceived children?

In the past 50 years, thousands of men in the UK have donated sperm. 53-year-old Luke, was a donor as a young man, helping couples to start families. He now wants to come forward and discover if he may have any biological sons or daughters, looking for their donor father.

Thirty years ago, I was a sperm donor. For about four years I donated sperm and recently, well, I suppose life events, it gave me a bit of time to think, and I thought I'd try and find out if anything had happened. Because when I first started donating, it was totally anonymous, and there's no way of even tracing it, apart from possibly DNA.

And that's why we're here?

Yeah.

How old were you when you first gave sperm?

19.

We're here now.

Yeah.

Why?

Because I'd spoken to a lot of people who never found out who their real parents or their biological parents were, or whatever, and it always troubled them. And I just thought well, there's people out there that would probably just like to know. If I can give them that, and if I could give them that before anything happens to me.

I think I'm ready to open this door, right now. It could change my life.

Hello, come on in.

Hi.

Hello, it's lovely to see you again.

Nice to see you again, yeah.

Okay, so when I first met you, it was because you wanted to find out if you had any sperm donor children. And that was because you had donated sperm hundreds of times, in the 1980s, when you were at university.

So, we know that so far there's been only around 200 men, who have come forward, who have lifted their right to anonymity.

Right, that's a tiny number, yes.

Yeah, you know, you are part of a very unique group of men. So, there was always going to be two shots at finding any donor conceived children. And the first was to upload your DNA to the worldwide databases. And when we looked through all of these databases, not a single person was on there, who looks like they are your donor child.

Yeah.

But that was going to be just, you know, a route. But the main thing was actually to go on the donor conceived register, and make yourself available for any donor conceived children, who were looking for you. So, the results are in, and we've got an email from the donor conceived register, but only you can open it.

Right.

Right, you ready?

Okay.

So let me give you this.

So, there you go, so it's just there.

Just open this.

Just take your time.

Comparison of your sample with the current donor conceived individuals has not revealed a link. I'm aware that this may be disappointing for you, but we will continue to compare your sample with all new registrants, and we'll write to you if you have any positive findings in the future.

So, no children on the donor conceived register. It's not that you don't have donor conceived children out there. It's hugely possible that you could have dozens of donor conceived children. They may not know that they are donor conceived, because the only way they're going to know is if their parents have told them.

Equally you can have people who know that their donor conceived, and they are completely relaxed about the whole thing, they don't feel a need at this point to find anything further, they may do in the future, they may never feel the need to find out.

It's early days, really early days, so it could easily be that you have dozens of children out there, they're not yet on the donor conceived register and that register is growing all of the time. Give it a few months and you get an email.

Yeah, that was something that was occurring to me more and more, this is kind of a lifetime thing. It may be that I'm 80 and someone will come up and go…

Yeah, it's one of those things, so though it hasn't turned out quite how we would have hoped, that is actually the reality I suppose of genetic testing.

Yeah, I was always happy with either result, to be honest with you, I'm cool with that, I mean that's what it was all for.

[glenjones]

Waiving the right to anonymity is a big step. One day it may lead to not just answering his question but also providing answers for others.

[Hellybelle]

If I was him, I'd leave all my photos, and life events, medical history etc... so any of his potential children can get to know a bit about him, even if he has already died ❤

[suemount]

He’s done an amazing thing and seems like a genuinely nice guy

[krissee]

He's done a good thing, to search and letting it be known that he's willing to be found. Another thing he could do would be to do a video, maybe a Weebly site with information about himself and their heritage, including photos.

[naithom]

My father donated when he was a medical student and resident back in the late 50s. I regularly check my genealogical sites to see if I've gotten any hits. Even if any half-siblings aren't looking for a sibling relationship, they have a right to their medical history and ancestry.

[Robins]

What a neat person. Anybody that finds out that he is their biological father won’t be disappointed.

[IndyPennCham]

I have a friend who calls the biological father of her grandson... The sperm donor. He kinda is a waste of space... a dad desserter and has never supported his child.
And now an actual sperm donor is trying to do a good thing for any biological children he may have.I wish him the best of luck and any child of his would be lucky to have him as a father.

[maremacd]

2:11 Hundreds?!? Well that certainly increases the chances of half siblings hooking up.

[quasimoto]

I wonder if he ever married and/or has his own children. We all hunger for connection.

[Emy]

It seems this donor is lonely now, and I am wondering if he needs to know if he left any children in this world.

I have heard of a doctor that donated his sperm unbeknown to the woman, and that was a crime. That doctor fathered more than 100 babies.

[BeachButterfly]

He seems very disappointed. I hope he finds what he’s searching for

[angharadswansea]

On 23 and me I have 13 DNA distant cousins who are all donor children. All females. They are finding each other through DNA. I don’t know if they are interested in finding out who their donor father was. All I know is it is somebody from my paternal side.

[susanb]

This show shoukd ne called “be prepared to be disappointed “

[lornadryden]

A family member of mine did sperm donating years and years ago too and I think at least 6 children have been discovered via DNA 🤪

[Emy]

These men must know they have children out there, and the children that were told they were conceived via a sperm donor, have the curiosity to know. That's ok too, but do the children some times develop feelings for these donors and want a relationship? What about the donors; do they want a relationship with his children?

[maryricketts]

No one chose his profile, must be disappointing.

[lc]

Blow to the male ego not to have been a selected donor.