Therapist Reacts to A WALK TO REMEMBER

Can you change others for the better? What is the allure of a bad boy? 

Licensed therapist Jonathan Decker and filmmaker Alan Seawright are taking a look at (and taking down) A Walk to Remember. Jonathan explains why the “I can change him” fantasy doesn’t work. Alan complains about the bad script and unrealistic “bad boy” act. And they rant about the framing of how a woman’s magic love will change and bring out the good in a man… no.

Support us!

Cinema Therapy is:
Written by: Megan Seawright, Jonathan Decker, and Alan Seawright
Produced by: Jonathan Decker, Megan Seawright, Alan Seawright, and Corinne Demyanovich
Edited by: David Sant
Director of Photography: Bradley Olsen
English Transcription by: Anna Preis

Connect with us!

[masmith]

“YOU CAN’T CHANGE HIM. WALK AWAY.” A Walkaway to Remember.

[sully]

I also appreciated that Mandy Moore's character's faith wasn't treated as zealotry or with ridicule, as occurs in a great many films. She is unapologetically true to her faith, and her faith and how she expresses it is treated respectfully. It's a rare portrayal, which was nice to see.

[Jonathan_Collins]

*Woman "saves" man with her love and then she dies so that he can go on and be a better person* is a whole genre in itself

[TheBookDoctor]

I'm not religious at all, but the "I don't need a reason to be mad at god" line made perfect sense to me: she had found peace with her illness, accepted her imminent death, in part because there wasn't anything in particular keeping her here. But now "he happened", and she has something she *wants* to stay for, but she knows she can't because god has already given her a death sentence. Why would god tease her with something she wants to stay for, when she can't stay? I'd be mad at god, too...

[anniewallace]

The reason why I love this story is she sets boundaries and enforces them. She wouldn't allow him back into her circle until he truly apologized and showed that he was truly sorry. He didn't get away with just doing a grand gesture, it was a lot of work and constantly saying you're right I'm sorry and then proving through his actions that he was sorry. I liked the character development for him mainly because of her backbone and expectations of him following her boundaries and if not then she shut the door in his face.

[xCellinax]

I don't really think we can classify this as a "my love can fix him" trope. She's not actively persuing him or expressing her undying love before he actually falls in love with her. In fact its the opposite. The minute she sees that he is still a douche, she lets him go. She does treat him with respect but isn't actively trying to change him in any way. That's all him. To me this feels more like a "rivals to lovers" and a "bad boy turned good" (Like the Grinch).

This really is my favourite feel good movie. Whenever I feel upset, this movie always gives me a good cry.

[PlayerOne.StartGame]

Jamie's philosophy in this movie was basically do no harm but take no shit with the added values of Christianity and I lived for it. It was savage AND considerate! What a boss!

[jant]

I think you missed a lot of context for Landon's character. First of all, teenager. Second, look at his friend group. Third, preacher's daughter, holding her Bible in her lap, is trying to make small talk with him, and one of the things she mentions is going to visit the boy he was responsible for putting in the hospital. His response is a defense mechanism. The relationship he has with his mom is a small part in the movie, but I think you can tell she knows he can be soft and considerate. Realizing that basketball was a way to make the geometry connect wasn't simply because of Jamie, and he didn't care if Jamie noticed or not at that point.

[trinaq]

In the book, Jamie was too sick to stand up properly without a wheelchair, so the title refers to her walk down the aisle to meet Landon at their wedding, which he interalises in his narration as "A Walk to Remember." I wish that they'd referenced it in the film.

[yundorphin]

"I do not need a reason to be angry with God" is an incredible line, and I can't really understand not getting behind that. I think rather than leaping to a wth response, a little time spent thinking about why that line was said would lead to an appreciation for how she expressed how she feels about him without saying it explicitly. The actual meaning behind the line is "you came along, and I suddenly want *more* than just fine - more than God wanted to give me."

[Klaudia_]

'' Is that a Bible, Potter??'' said in a spiteful Draco Malfoy voice. That was unexpected, i love it 😂😂

[lillyenovis]

I had a real life experience vaguely similar to this movie: the man I loved died in a car accident when I was 22, but in the brief time we had together he changed my life in many positive ways. He helped me learn to see past the end of my nose, to consider things and people and concepts outside of myself.

Teenagers are fairly impressionable and so I find Landon’s about-face a little more feasible. As Jono notes, you are the sum of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Landon went from surrounding himself with his popular but callous clique to spending most of his time with someone who possessed far more maturity and empathy as a natural result of her own experiences and circumstances (plus his lovely mother played by Darryl Hannah). She helped him see past the end of his nose for the first time. I see that as him being inspired by a positive role model who gently nudged his thinking in healthier and more compassionate directions. Yes, it’s an optimistic and unlikely outcome, but it’s not impossible.

The romantic relationship came only after he changed AND showed her that the change was sincere. I agree with Alan’s criticism but I thought I’d add my two cents about Jono’s.

[DonnaAlyse]

As far as "I do not need a reason to be angry with God", she's saying that she's fallen for him and wasn't expecting it to happen when she was sick with cancer. And she doesn't want to get to the point where she's mad at God for bringing Landon into her life when she's so close to dying. Like a "why would You bring this amazing person into my life and then have me die before we can spend life together?" kind of thing. Or even in Landon's case "why would you bring this amazing woman into my life who loves you and is everything i could hope for and then take her away?" I honestly had a similar reaction to you my first time watching this movie, but after taking time to process, I think that's what she's attempting to say.

[bonniebrown]

In defense of this story: I was a shy, christian, artsy, preachers kid in a small southern town when i first read the book and related to Jamie a heck of a lot. I didnt fall in love with the movie, i did the book. It was much more "slow burn" in the book and Landon wasnt nearly as big of a jerk. At 14 i didnt love this movie because I wanted to change a bad boy, i loved it because my self confidence was in the trash (i thought i had to be Brittany Spears to be attractive) and the idea of someone seeing me as interesting and beautiful was very the way Landon did jamie gave me hope.

[wearetheiam]

I don't think the point of this is even a love story. It's about peer pressure and growing out of toxic friend groups. And Jamie doesn't magically fix him with her love. She inspires him to be who he always has inside. He is the only one who jumped in to try saved the kid they pranked. He genuinly shows interest after a while in tutoring. He is scared and he sees she isn't. She inspires him to want to change himself because he was always going to grow out of his friend group. They are bullies and he isn't. This isn't really about them him and Jamie. That's why she doesn't make it all the way to the end. It's like Titanic. Jack doesn't have to be real. Likewise Jamie doesn't have to survive. Landon needs to growp up. His scowling is an internal struggle because he is at odds with his choices. He just needed a positive role model and she became that for him. He falls in love with her as a byproduct of wanting to be like her. In a weird way, it's him falling in love with himself and learning to love and respect himself. Her sincerity and authenticity inspire courage in him. He thinks "if she is brave enough to be herself, I can too." It is beautiful, albiet cheesy. Yes, it's tropes are exhausted. But that doesn't mean it's just a silly teen romance. Sometimes silly movies can still have a lot of heart. And sometimes people do change. I was a drug addict since I was 14. And then my partner inspired me to get help. I did it out of my own. Sometimes miracles do happen. And it is for us, like it is with Jamie, to let people prove themselves and show that those miracles do happen. She never had to chase him. He clearly always admired her. It was only a matter of time. A Walk to Remember is about the courage to be who you really are, the miracle of standing up for what you believe and to have faith in those who don't have faith in themselves...❤

[keekers]

She had accepted that she was dying. She had accepted that she will never be a bride. Never be a mother. Never have this entire life that many of us take for granted. She had accepted that her life and death was in God's Hands. Then she fell in love. She is now grieving all of the things she will never have. She's angry at God. How hard is that to understand?

[Moonlight.Howlings.]

They didn’t do the walk full justice in the movie. In the book she’s in a wheel chair by the time they get married, but she gets up to walk down the isle to Landon (I don’t remember for sure; but I think she has to be in the wheel chair for the actual wedding). The fact that she walked at all at the wedding was the important part.

[LadyM]

You keep saying how unrealistic it is that he would change for her but I think he changes because he wants to. She doesn't pursue him, she actually lets him go when she sees that he actually is a jerk. And then he sees and admires her values and learns how to be better. Also, he's a teenager, of course he can still change. Tell me you haven't met teens who were absolute jerks and then went on to become great people. Don't know if it's just me but you really missed the point with this movie. 😅

[zzzinzyistired]

The cross fades got me giggling non stop for the entire rest of the videos 😭 bless the editor who did that

[hana]

What confuses me is not on the movie but the fact that YOU GUYS DIDN'T GET IT when she said "I don't need a reason to be angry with god" RIGHT AFTER she said "and then you happened".

Like her bringing up god is not out of the context at all. She accepted that she will be joining God soon. She didn't attached herself to other people (she didn't really make close friends) and my theory is that she's purposely making herself look unattractive so that she wouldn't hurt other people once she passed away. Well, until Landon came in to the picture.

This is WHY she's angry with God. She doesn't want a reason to want to stay and yet, God gave her Landon. Take note that I'm nowhere near religious.

Idk what to feel, I'm surprised and also a little bit disappointed but I digress. We have different views anyways and I'll still watch your videos LMAO