femininity vs. natural hair: embracing your natural hair in a world that opposes it

Hey angels! In this video, I’m diving into a topic that many of us have felt but might not talk about enough: the clash between society’s idea of femininity and our beautiful natural hair. Why do styles like afros, braids, and locs often get dismissed as “less feminine”? Let’s explore that together!

✨ What You’ll Discover:

A look at how societal standards shape our views on beauty and femininity.

How embracing your natural hair can be a powerful way to reclaim your identity.

Tips and tricks for confidently embracing your natural hair, even when the world tries to push back.

Let’s celebrate our unique beauty and recognize that true femininity comes from within. Embracing your natural hair is not just about style; it’s about strength and self-love. Join me on this journey to redefine what it means to be feminine!

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#NaturalHair #Femininity #Empowerment #SelfLove #NaturalHairJourney #BeautyStandards

[NalaAmari]

With all due respect as a Black Woman, saying the way our hair grows from our scalp is not feminine, beautiful and attractive is just self-hating. That’s what we have been taught by slavery, racism & society. I don’t have an issue with changing it up sometimes but, We are Beautiful and More Than Enough the way the creator made us.

[EarthQueen-]

I’ve always felt more feminine with my natural hair.

[realpristine]

As a flight attendant, EVERY time I wear my natural hair, I get the most compliments, especially from people outside my race.
I’ve come to realize that having straight hair looks too polished/ perfect and people admire natural beauty in all aspects.
Loved this video, so uplifting 💖

[cctv]

yes ! I love my natural fro but sometimes it doesn’t look the way i want it. On those days we have to hold our heads even higher and be proud of what we were given. ✨

[brexxy]

Heavy on unfollowing people that don't look like you or uphold a standard of beauty. When I was a little girl I never saw myself as pretty cause black girls barely had any positive representation. Once I started following black women that look like me it boosted my confidence

[Odumase]

As a fellow Ghanaian, I’ve noticed that light skin is so feminized, both in our culture and globally, that people often say a man should be darker than the woman for it to "look better." I once saw a TikTok about this, and now that I think about it, I’ve rarely seen couples where the man is lighter. Many Ghanaian wives feel pressured to bleach their skin to appear lighter than their husbands and be seen as more feminine. Even in my own family, all women bleach their skin. My family lives in Germany, and it’s extremely rare to see Black girls and women wear their natural coily hair out—it’s less than 1%. When they do, it’s often blow-dried and covered until their next hairstyle. My mother and grandmother even call coily hair "ugly." About a year and a half ago, I wasn’t allowed to wear my coily hair to my mom’s friend’s birthday; she forced me to straighten it, and I cried over it, even telling my friend—how much self-hate can someone have?

As for body image, I’m slightly overweight and working towards a healthier body, though I’m not trying to be skinny. Yet my grandmother constantly says I should be skinny at 17, because it would look better, and my life is just starting.

Back to the topic of skin tone this is why dark-skinned men are hyper-masculinized and seen as very attractive, while dark-skinned women are viewed as masculine and unattractive. On the other hand, light-skinned men are often seen as feminine, which is why there are so many memes about how they act.

[Jordè]

I love to adorn my curls with soft and girly accessories like butterfly clips and flower crowns and velvet hair bows. Very feminine and alluring . I also like to tuck my hair behind my ears and pin it down, loos so cute ♥

[vj]

One of the main things I question with wigs is why people automatically move to a completely different texture. I completely get that sometimes shorter hair doesn’t make everyone feel beautiful but you can get kinky extensions or wigs. There’s no reason in 2024 the majority of black women who wear wigs and weaves are wearing textures that don’t match their own

[Momo-kwvb]

Growing up, I hid my hair under braids, scared of what others thought. A hurtful comment from a classmate in 5th grade stuck with me: he said my hair felt “disgusting.” That made me avoid showing it for years. But as i grew older, around age 16/17 I came to a point where i was like "this is the only hair i will ever have, i can either learn to love it or continue to be miserable."

What really helped me learn to love my hair was learning how to look after it and following women on social media who look like me.

In terms of media people, i really like Issa Rae, Viola Davis, and Lupita. I have no issues with switching it up, rock a quick weave if you feel like it. But i always loved how those women show up to grand redcarpet events with their natural hair...especially when theres this notion among people (like in the video) that natural hair isn't for "nice events."

[quickpstuts]

I went to volunteer the other day in natural hair. I had a twist out pulled back into a bun and twist out bangs. My hair is 4B/4C. Very, very basic casual style. So casual that some may even consider my hair "not done."

A black guy (mid 30s) complemented me on my hair and was going goo goo over the fact I wore my natural hair. Asked for my number, etc.

No, this may not be the norm, but it reminded me that you will always find someone who loves you for you. This has happened countless times in my 15 year natural journey.

It's easy to focus on who doesn't like your hair, but what really matters is your self love first and you will attract people who like you for you.

[kamii_kaizen]

That's why it's so much more than "just hair" it's such a huge journey for us that we're still trying to learn and appreciate.

[Truechildofgod]

Lol the lady that said “wear the wig at the date then take it off afterwards and go back to being who you are” took me out 😂 she’s definitely going to end any marriage in divorce. You can not deceive people and think you’ll get good results. I only date men that have seen my real hair and now that I have been wearing it curly consistently I get a lot of compliments on it from people outside of my race. While most of the men that approach me are either white or Mexican men I still get black men from time to time but she is right to an extent black men like hair that’s not covering your face idk about “sleek” but black men only approach me when my hair is in a curly puff or bun. White & mexican men approach me when it’s in a curly fro.

[christines]

This may be a unpopular opinion
But I think once we only focus on “ if we like it and we are content” we will feel better about our natural hair. Once I’ve learned that as long as I’m ok and happy with my natural hair which I am, I honestly don’t care if anyone doesn’t like it.

[ceecollette]

I totally agree. I’ve been through the loose natural, locs, TWA, bald, and every other phase. The past few years I’ve been growing my hair out a little, getting tired of it and cutting it back to brush cut length. It’s been a challenge as a fat, brown-skinned woman. I’ve definitely had my moments of giving my in and going for the wigs and even constant braids because I feel those are the styles in which I’m more positively received. The length obsession, especially as a way to prove our femininity and desirability to this misogynistic world — is crazy. At this point, I’m working on just embracing my natural appearance in general (without the wigs and even too many braids, etc.). I’m trying to push back against the “short hair is masculine” or “TWAs are unkempt” narratives. I’m growing my hair out a bit, but only to a certain point because I hate all that maintenance lol. I’m also starting to look for Afrocentric styles, and not just braids to create the illusion of length. For example, I’m loving Bantu knots at the moment. It’s wild that it takes this much self-work just to face the world as your natural self but it’s worth it imo.

[quickpstuts]

Femininity isn't skin tone or hair to me. It's presence and confidence. You are the epitome of femininity in my opinion. You look amazing and I love for your speaking voice.

[daschapetbri]

6:25 " It is my duty to make peace with my being. " Pheeew, I felt that. ❤

[gtgw]

Those two African podcasters’ wigs though…oh my god 🤦🏾‍♀️

[pileofsaltOG]

I love adding to this convo as a trans masc. Because of the masculinization of black womens hair and black women in general, black transmen have a harder time passing in the white society. The only person to have gendered me male in person without me telling them my pronouns was someone of a minority race. Lots of black trans men have stated it took them longer to be gendered male because of this.

[keeshab]

Natural hair...ANY hair is feminine. Depends on how you are styling it.
However, all this stems from Europeans being the "beauty standard" 😒 thats all it is.
And if you believe that European look is the beauty standard. Then you are likely to wear your hair straight and feel as if you are more beautiful with it straight.
Personally I think straight hair is boring and makes me feel a bit sheepish. Curly/kinky textures are gorgeous and sexy! 😍😍 Especially when taken care of and worn proudly.

[jalisahoward]

It started from childhood. all you see is long straight flowing hair, so we put towels over our heads for hair as make pretend.