6 Ways To Experience Genuine Gratitude

The secret is out: gratitude is good for your mental health. But what do you do if you don't feel it?

You might be in the situation I was in: I logically understood that gratitude was helpful; I could agree that I had things in my life worthy of gratitude; and yet it never translated from a concept in my head to an experience in my heart.

If you experience depression and anxiety, it's not enough to be told to be grateful, or to be told all the things we have to be grateful for or even the benefits of gratitude. You need tools and skills to practice gratitude.

I'm going to walk you through 6 gratitude tools I use everyday that help me actually experience gratitude - and all the good things that come with it.

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Disclaimer: This content is not intended to be a replacement for receiving treatment. It is purely educational in nature. My relationship with you is that of presenter and audience, not therapist and client.

But I do care.

[clockworkthoughts]

"Gratitude" feels so accusatory. It feels like something that your parents would force on you when you're little ("You're not grateful for all of the things that I do for you!"), and it can be a bit invalidating. It also feels like you need to be grateful to someone, a kind of indebtedness. I prefer appreciation instead. I take time to appreciate the things in my life. It's just a process of saying "Hey, look at that. That's pretty neat!" This goes along with mindfulness. "Hey, the sky is beautiful today. That's cool! Hey, I can check what the weather will be tomorrow on my phone. Wild!"

[Maggdusa]

You can learn to appreciate things in your life by giving up something you enjoy or value for a month at a time. I have practiced this for 30+ years. Every month, I choose something I enjoy or value, and exercise my self-discipline by giving it up for that month. You can get creative with it. I've done various foods and drinks, listening to music, cussing, carrying a purse, wearing perfume, reading for leisure, using a pillow at night, etc. It really helps me to appreciate things because I don't always have access to them.

[love-wisdom]

I am grateful to have found you and your content.

[blondefisk]

... I dont understand why but this title has brust me into tears. I am noticing how whwn one is struggling im often callwd upon to be hopeful n grateful, wirh no guidance.
Too much online content is telling hurt n suffering people how to mask as well persons. '10 tips for a mentally healthy lifestyle... IF you didn't have to overcome violent hardship... And if you did live through that .. Be GRATEFUL!

[Ford_prefect_]

I am thankful for walking. I was unable to walk without my leg collapsing for a year the 4-6 months being on crutches/not able to walk more than a few feet. Every time i go down the stairs outside, i get happy because it took seconds where it would take me a full minute to go down 3 steps before.

[jadeybabes]

Good tips thank you. For years being grateful was a negative for me. When I was depressed in my earlier years I would hear... 'Why are you depressed, you have a good life and a roof over your head - you should be grateful!' So I always felt like being 'grateful' was associated with feeling guilty for having depression, struggling or being sad - when I had a 'good' life.

Now I am trying to look at gratefulness in a different light - like all the ways you mentioned. True genuine gratitude of my life - while still accepting I have many challenges.

[marcoborge]

I feel grateful for you Scott. So warm hearted. Blessings for you and your loved ones

[idaloup]

I have a disease, a hydrops, Meniere disease. At the very beginning I was angry and harboured negative feelings. Now I feel Gratutude because this disease enabled me to be closer to my mother. Greatings from Paris ❤❤❤❤❤

[BeckyLuce-cv]

I’ve been listing three things I’m grateful for every evening before bedtime for a long time now. But I was just making a list, like completing an assignment. Until I listened to your video, I didn’t realize the problem was that it was all in my head. I was only thinking about being grateful, not feeling it emotionally. Thank you! For the “aha” moment - I’m always grateful for insights because they change my thinking forever. And also for the six suggestions for turning on the emotions associated with feeling grateful, not just going through the motions of thinking about it.

[shirouhinata]

I learned to be grateful when I started putting myself in the shoes of people who are blind or deaf. I couldn't figure out what it really was, but I realized that I was lucky to have so many things given to me for free, so I began to appreciate my hard-earned things even more. Thanks to this, I learned not to compare myself to everyone else, because I realized that everyone has something that they lack. Being grateful for the little things in life has helped me see the light at the end of the tunnel and it also helps me with my depression and the anger I feel towards my parents for the mental abuse I have received for so many years because things could have been worse .

[LH-fqyn]

The key for me was to get things in order and balance them out inside my mind. Yes, we've all heard a thousand times how great gratitude is and that we have to practice it. But I always felt kind of invalidated when I tried these gratitude techniques. I had to see my own value, efficacy and accomplishments first (among other things with your help). Know I much easier can feel gratitude for things outside of my control.

[jboughtin]

I have pulled myself out of many a negative head space by re-orienting to a position of things that I am grateful for. It can be as simple as being grateful to be able to take a hot shower. Fairly mundane stuff work just fine.

[donnnaread]

Dr .Scott I ve bought your book ' For When Everything is Burning' I m crying already, Thank you so much, you really know when what are feeling, love Donna from England x

I am grateful that I found your channel on YouTube. You are the best counsellor I have come across. You describe the feelings and experiences spot on 🎯

[kkkk]

I tried these techniques, especially #1 and #2, and these WORKED.
However, it was very counter-intuitive so let me share the experience.

In the last session of gratitude journaling, I noticed I took 'Great power comes with great responsibility' mindset so far that I never feel the positive side of having privileges.
Because of having something other don't have, I am too inclined to use them for something good.
This results to immense pressure not to misuse or under-utilize, negating the feeling of being privileged almost completely.

I decided to dismiss this idea, at least temporarily, to allow me to feel the positivity.
This... feeled so great. I now feel OK to have what I have and somewhat grateful for that.
I realized I need to be 'suboptimal' to be happy or mentally healthy.

Hope someone finds this helpful.

[rosalindarcher]

THANK YOU! I’m grateful to you for your depth of understanding and empathy. It’s true, life is full of ‘shoulds’ without the leap of knowing how you get there. So much advice makes me feel like saying, no shit Sherlock!’ I know what I SHOULD be doing and, believe me, I would if I could! but how do I manage it, where are the tools, the practical hints or specifics to help me get there? I end up just feeling like another abject failure because I can’t manage it. So, thank you for trying to bridge the missing link (whether it works or not!). Actually typing this whilst cooking dinner for the kids. Often a chore that’s pushed me over the edge into boredom and resentment, especially after 17 years of doing it and the exhaustion after a long day. I just managed though, with your number 3 tip to enjoy cutting up the veg and hearing the sounds of the knife, seeing the colours and knowing my kids will be fed.

[rhianndarroch]

My psychiatrist asks me to write down 5 grateful things every day. I don't always do it, but I think about them. I am grateful I came across your channel ❤😊 and listened to your videos when I'm not feeling so good ❤ Thanks Dr Scott your awesome x

[AnnetjiePocock]

You got me. I have that since I was a child.

[esthermaggard]

I most certainly am not grateful enough for my sisters and my mom and my dog max, thank you Jesus for them ❤❤❤ I’m beyond blessed even though a lot of times I feel like I’ve been cheated because my children and grandchildren aren’t on speaking terms with me anymore but I do have more than so many other people!!!! Thanks Scott for reminding me of that !!!

[MaryKayRanger]

Absolutely! Everything we have is special 💙