MOST DETAILED guide to choosing a partner | Based on relationship science

I’m Shridhar, a Counseling Psychologist. Relationships are a lot of work, but that work can become smoother if we can choose the right person for us. Watch this video to understand what attachment is and what relationship psychology suggests about minimizing the chances of ending up in the wrong relationship with someone.

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0.00 Intro
0.41 The problem
1.07 Why attraction is not a good criterion?
3.00 Halo effect
4.14 How to prevent attachment to the wrong person?
4.46 Understanding attachment
7.50 First recommendation
8.08 Second recommendation
8.27 Third recommendation
8.40 Fourth recommendation
8.55 Fifth recommendation
9.47 What are the assessment criteria?
9.56 Approach to take with the criteria
11.22 Division of criteria
11.44 First criteria
13.05 Second criteria
14.42 Third criteria
17.01Second category
17.18 First criteria
18.00 Second criteria
18.29 Third criteria
19.17 Fourth criteria
20.31 Fifth criteria
21.29 Sixth criteria
22.01 Bonus principles
22.05 First principle
22.29 Second principle
23.03 Third principle
23.22 Conclusion
22.34 Need counseling from Shridhar lifeschool?

[SR-mvmf]

I ruled out so many red flags that I ruled out everyone

[abhiam]

The importance of a single life can only be understood after getting married. And hence the single life is understated.

[SumonAdakpbx]

Avoiding the wrong person is far better than finding the right person. I hope people understand it sooner. You won't die if they who you think to be right don't come to you. You might think of dying if they who seem right at the beginning come and later leave you.

[DoraJan]

When he says; run away when partner treats you inferior! And he is absolutely right.😂

[shwetabhagat]

Attraction is most important. Always remember that. You are choosing a romantic partner n not a flatmate, guardian or just friend. Attraction is not always looks.

[Realestatetamil]

1. Attraction not good thing select partner
2. Assement first attachment later
3.Avoiding red flags way more important than collecting green flags
4.2 categories are important to assess person

Relationship outcome levels

High important traits

Relationship outcome level

1) Positive
it protects you from tough situation if they have
2) synergy of dreams and desires
Ask their short term, middle time, long time goal check cohesive with your goal, it shouldn't be opposite end, if its it again red flag
3) negative
How well both of you managing emotion during conflict? To solve problem

Through listen to partner
Accept mistake
Try to resolve

Dont allow

High negative emotion
Inability to resolve conflict

High important traits

1.Equality of status
Rules for both of us

2.Unconditional respect

Are they treating you with respect

3.high priority for you and your Relationship

1st priority it determines how much time and energy they are giving on you

4. Loyalty
Are they loyal to you ?
Know their past ?
Why they will be loyal to you ?

5. Commitment

Are they saying I will break up, or they have some tolerance

6.honesty and transparency

Are this person is liar

[arijitsahoo]

We can't say that taking time to choose a partner always leads to successful relationship, so many relationships are successfully going for years with their acceptance in maximum 1 week only if they had really met their perfect match, it’s like a magical bond that never breaks❤😊

[jenab]

I trusted my brain the first time and my marriage still failed. Second time around, I'm trusting my gut feelings, and so far so good. There are challenges, but we love each other enough to make it work. I think love is the foundation you need, and the commitment that you will stick through.

[ericgideon]

basically communication is the most important skill in relationship and marriage

[phaniraj]

Most of time we don't or can't choose our Parents, Teachers, Boss, wife and friends etc in life...but we feel and proudly believe that we have chosen one...

[advaithhegde]

Relationship outcome level:
1)Positive
2)Negative
3)Desire of outcome
High Importance traits:
1)Equality of status-feelings, wishes etc.
2)Unconditional respect
3)High priority for relationships and you.
4)Give higher attention, and are loyal to you.
5)Ask the reasons for every answer they give.
6)Commitment for life.

[pragati__dhami]

Just two days back, I got cheated on by someone who was looking for all these traits in me whilst himself being an absolute pretentious man with a habit of compulsively lying. This video is truly amazing tho. And when Shridhar says “don’t forget your deal breakers”, it hit home. It’s no shit. Before going into that relationship I was well aware of my needs and boundaries but as soon as I caught feelings, everything started to become hazy. Anyway, it’s sad we can’t undo what’s already happened. Although I am deeply hurt right now, I know I will be fine in a couple months/years. If anything, this was a huge lesson for me. Love and strength to anyone else who is going through the same pain right now. Just know, it wasn’t your fault, you’re not alone and this too shall pass❤️

[Jagritidhariwal]

Saw a thousand videos on dating, but no one has explained the stuff precisely the way you did. Thank you so much for this video✨🌸

[raginisharma]

What an Amazing Video Sridhar- this comes at the right time and your first point on attraction was so apt. Loved watching the brilliant tips.
Thank you 🙏

[stelinethomas]

Very very useful & explained in a way that's easy to digest. Absolutely loved the content & structure

[MrunaliniPatil]

So perfectly explained. Amazing !!! This is giving 100 % clarity

[sohinisaha]

I have been thru a failed arranged marriage. I can vouch for all that you have said to be true. But will add one more point, not giving in to attachment stems up from having a high self esteem. No amount of knowledage will work otherwise. To be able to love yourself alone and not only when validated in a relationship.

[Sayantan]

Sir, most of your videos are superb, but this one is gold. Take a bow.
I wish we had something like this earlier..

[sujeethaca]

Attraction is very important in a relationship.. It is very difficult to form a connection without attraction.

[sadafperween]

Omggg!!how well u explained and covered all topics !!I have watched tons of video regarding this topic but couldn't find as informative as this video.lol❤️🤗