r/Relationships | I Found My Estranged Sister After 4 Years

The original post is from two years ago, the update is from last month.

OP thinks "I found my estranged sister after 4 years! Yeah! but is it a good thing?

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[LostGenre]

How would you go about getting in touch with a sibling that you haven't seen in 7 years?

[crazypyp]

This is honestly a heartbreaking story. It's clear OP's mother has changed his sister for the worst. It seems she is a lost cause as it doesn't take much to manipulate a teenager & change their mind for adulthood.

[susanlayton]

I love how Lost Genre said that when it comes to OP's sister it seems like he has gone through the complete grieving process. It really does and he seems to have accepted the fact that the sister he knew and loved seems to be gone and in her place is this stranger that turned out to be like their mother.

[Tammohawk]

So sad that the mom ruined her daughter that way. I can't stand phoney manipulative people.

[alicelooney]

You and your family need to accept that the ONLY time you will EVER hear from your sister is if she needs something, probably money. Don't fall for it again!

[squeezerD]

Forget the sister and move on. You can't save her she byond saving at this point she was already corrupted by the mom.

[AFantasticCat]

Dude, that sister in the update sounds like an impostor to me. As soon as she asked if anyone had old photos of her it sounded like they got a lookalike to pose as sis to go and get some cash from family... someone should contact that OP and ask if it is possible. They should have the aunt or gran snap a picture of her if they get the chance and have proof it is actually her.

[margaretalbrecht]

I couldn't get past the opening paragraphs with the took half the pension and half the house stuff. It's as if OOP thought that everything financial belonged 100% to the father.

[ladyj.]

Lost my favourite childhood cousin when his parents divorced, he went with his mom (my uncles not exactly an angel but he’s good to his kids) and ex aunt went no contact. Shows up 12 years later looking for money

[monkeynumbernine]

Lost genre is the best at ad placement.

[roverdover]

In England it's unusual if the wife gets 50% in a divorce? That part was surprising to me.

[sct]

This woman is not your sister, she is an imposter.

[Luziemagick]

Oh yes..pettieness is needed..lol

But i am glad hearing that this story was like my story and i am good

[WardNightstone]

this sounds so much like my own story it's scary only time my older siblings contact my dad is when they need money i havent personally talked to ether in years

[aliceblue]

I am estranged from a family member and he has "taken" other family members with him. I can see them if I spend time with him. When he is out of town, they will visit me. It is rather complex and quite wierd. I have a support system outside my family so I am fine but I am still conflicted and sometimes sad. Best wishes to all who suffer these difficulties. They might be our burden to carry but we don't need to be alone.

[lumiskullgurl]

honestly throw the whole sister away. it's obvious she's exactly like her mother and she's old enough to know what she's doing. only agree to meet up when she agrees to go to therapy, but otherwise don't even try to forge a bond. it's obvious she only see's her relatives as bank accounts and any further communication would just enable her to take money without consequences. OP has lived without her for 7 years and looks like he's better of without her. it's a shame her mother's influence turned her this way but it looks like sister has no conscience or remorse either. don't sacrifice your happiness just to reform someone.

[nightshade]

Why can't I get over the lost? Ten years for me trying to find them on social media. I found my enstranged sisters on Instagram. 21, one child, and one on the way. It was all I love you and miss you. Come to my baby shower. Told me how her dad is controlling, how he treated them. I even gave her money when she needed help after a few days of finding her. Then it started the back and forth. This last time she removes me from Instagram, and asked me to remove her partner as well. The baby shower is not happening, meaning I am not invited. All in just a couple days before my birthday. AND two days after the fact when I told I was going to buy the ticket. Saying she got a lot going on and can't do this. Just like that. Speaking positively of her father, and how I feel about him. Even though she said she was scared of him even when she became an adult. And said she left their home because of him. Maybe it's the age difference from when we separate. I'm 34 now, but that shit hurts. I got to the door, and didn't even get pass the threshold. I wish I can just turn it off like that, and not care. And just have my memories of who they were. The youngest sister will not even speak, and that girl was my baby, my peanut. I was told by her sister that her dad has such a hold on her she won't even deposit her checks. Do I accept my sisters are gone for good? Do I keep trying to reach out to my baby sister? Give the eldest time? I haven't removed her baby's father Instagram yet. I want to see my niece when she is born in January. But mostly it's because I'm trying to hold the door open to her. Should I delete it like she has asked?

[alex.a]

My heart goes out for this family that the daughter become her mother that why she doesn't want to see the brother and father as they can see threw her bullshit

[citrinedragon]

Splitting families is hard... and sometimes necessary. This is an example of the unnecessary and definitely malicious.

[nicholasf]

You ever cuddle up with a dog and watch these videos?? It’s amazing!