How To Get Sick Fast To Miss School | ULTIMATE Faking Sick Morning Routine!

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How to get sick fast to miss school:

In this video, I’m going to be showing you how to get sick fast to miss school. I’m going to walk you through a morning routine that if you execute properly, your parents will be begging you to stay home. So if you're thinking, "I hate School," learn the routine to get out of it. Come on, you don’t need school. School’s for fools! You're gonna learn how to fake sick and your mom will believe you!

RULE 1: SLOW MOTION:
So when you wake up in the morning, the first thing you need to remember is slow motion okay, you want to take things in slow motion. What this means is everything you do, you’re going to do extra slowly. This immediately is going to help you build credibility towards the fact that you are sick, which we both know you’re not. You’re going to get out of bed, really slowly, put on your clothes really slowly. Everything needs to be a chore for you okay. Walk up the stairs really slowly. Everything you do, do it slowly. Make them think that you are tired and weak and doing it slowly will convince them. So remember, first thing, slow motion.

RULE 2: FOOD IS YOUR ENEMY

The second think you need to remember for this routine, is you hate food okay. Food is your enemy. This works best on a day when your mom is making you your favorite breakfast. The fact that you’re not eating your favorite meal, is going to be a big red flag to your mother. You’re going to sit at the table and you’re just going to pick at your food okay. If your favorite thing is waffles, you’re going to pick the crap out of those waffles. These changes in behavior are what signal to your parents that you actually might be sick. If you just come out and say, “I’m sick,” nobody’s going to believe that crap. So you’re moving slow, and you’re not eating your food. BOOM. Mamma knows somethings up. Now when mommy asks you, “sweety, what’s wrong? Why aren’t you eating your waffles?” How you respond is very important. Now if you can do something to your voice to make it sound raspy, that would be even fantastiker, more fantastic. I actually made an entire video on how to lose your voice. The link is in the description for that. But when you respond, you’re going to say, “I’m fine, everything’s okay.” And then you’re going to keep picking at your food slowly. It’s very important that you convince her that you want to go to school. If you can get her to come up with the idea for you to stay home, that is what you want.

RULE 3: BE TRIPPIN'

This next rule you need to remember is you need to be tripping. If you’re moving slow, if you’re picking at your food, it’s very important that your parents see you stumble a couple of times okay. Don’t overdo this. Don’t do it like ten times ‘cause that will obvious, but when you’re walking, kind of make yourself trip a little bit, or faint a little bit, or lose your balance. When your parents see that, they’re going to freak out and it’s very important that after you trip be like, “Oh, I’m okay, I’m fine, I’m… I’m good. Can I… Can I go to school now?.” Oh no young man, you are staying home. When you hear those sweet words, Don’t celebrate like an idiot. Play it cool. Be like, “Oh are you sure I… I really should go. You know it’s… It’s very important that I get there. Young man, I don’t want to hear it. You are staying home and you are staying in bed." Now obviously I you do this every single day they’re going to catch on but if you just do it once in a while, like maybe once every six months or so, you could probably get away with it.

Now you know how to fake bing sick and how to stay home from school. If any of you actually successfully pull this off, for the love of God share it in the comments. I want to read all about, and so do the other people watching this video. What are those three rules again? Slow Motion, food is your enemy, and always be trippin’! Use this to know how to become sick and skip school!

Queries Of The Interweb (QOTI)
© Joel Kawira, LLC

Music: Light Background - The Sixth Gate Music (Courtesy of WeVideo Music Library)

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Here's the ultimate morning routine for faking sick! Don't let your mother find this video! Share your success stories in the comments.

joelkawiraOfficial
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My parents are Asian. There’s no way in hell they’d let me skip school, even if I was dying. 😂

sophiaschmitt
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My parents said “try to go to school and if u ain’t feel good go to the nurse”. :(

ethans
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Me: *Dies*
My parents: *"You're fine"*
*Drags my body to school*

besnikmanushi
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I just pulled it off today 😂
i was having really bad anxiety today after getting in trouble with my homeroom teacher not to mention i just needed a mental break from school. This worked really well!! My dad knew i was not sick and wanted to stay home but I needed an excuse for my Mom.

RookieMistakes
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even if i died my mom would bring my grave to school :(

lovelytessa
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I did this and my mom send me to the doctor and the doctor said a I had a stomach virus





The doctor was lying

iractionzzii
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No one..

Me missing 1 day of school:

Child has cancer
Bff moves
Teacher arrested
Someone killed
Homework the rest of the year
Final exams tomorrow
Boyfriend cheat on 700 girls

royalamara
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Me trying to watch this fast before school starts in 15 minutes

athena_ar
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"If you say I'M SICK nobody's gonna believe that"
Me: I'M SICK
mom: okay go to bed

pancakeperson
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When you have parents that probably wouldn't even let you off school even if you were dying... '___'

A-_-A.
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Pro tip: the evening before you have to go to school, dont eat much just a little bit then go to bed early that’s important. Then you fake throw up or heat up your forehead and tell your parents you don’t feel so good. They will believe it because its the night before then in the morning tell your parents that it still isnt better and say you feel nauseous and stuff and boom

dpsht
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Someone died: your going to school
Dying: your going!!
Fever: your going to school
Cold: OMG BABY STAY HOME

audrey..-
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Go slow = Parents will think I shat myself
Don’t eat food = parents will beat my ass
Stumble = parents think I stayed up too late
Deny I’m sick = parents send me to school

dudeman-kglk
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Also to add to this plan be a little strange the night before like maybe complain for a head ache a soon as you go to bed or just say your not hungry then in the morning say your tired coz you kept waking up feeling sick or sweating-like this comment if you agree or have done this before i know I have

tiktok__compilations
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I had a mild sinus infection so I’m going to try this tomorrow to stay home from school so I can finish this essay I need to do, wish me luck

oogabooga
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I just need a break from math class they put me in the advanced class bc I guessed every question on my eog and now am top of my class-

linkedsky
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“I’m a bad influence”
I think your more of an expert influence

rayneishot
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'' *you hate food* '' '' *food is your enemy* '' 

**clicks off video**

welp, thats not gonna work

cecerose
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Me: I’m not feeling well
Mom: if your so sick the nurse will send you home

markis