New Relationship? 5 Tips So You Don't Sabotage It

New Relationship? 5 Tips So You Don't Sabotage It
Now there's nothing like a new relationship to make you go into full-blown crazy mode. "Wait you have other girls that are friends?" "Wait, is that too much interest too soon?" "I don't know. I just hate him so much right now." "But does that mean that I love him?" Hold up a sec, it is very possible that you are sabotaging every new relationship that you're in because you're afraid. You're afraid that he might not love you. You're afraid that you're coming on too strong, that you're not coming on strong enough. But before you give in to this fear, make sure you watch this video. Because the five tips I'm gonna teach you may just be the difference between you marrying this guy, or you living down the street as that weird cat lady. We don't want that. Keep watching.

Hey there, my name is Adam Lodolce, and I'm the head love strategist over here where we help single women successfully find a long-lasting relationship, and do it with a proven strategy. Now I've seen it before when my clients get to what we call little love step number six, which means you are now in a healthy, committed relationship with clear boundaries set. What tends to happen is, we start subconsciously sabotaging the relationship. So here are five tips to help you keep your head straight as you're adjusting to this new relationship.

Tip #1 is if the guy is treating you really well, be cautious, but also be optimistic. I know it can be really hard when your past relationships haven't worked out. And when you've been burned so many times, it can be very difficult to go into a new relationship with eyes wide open and expecting a different result this time. But if a guy is actually genuinely treating you well, and he's showing up for the relationship, you need to be receptive to that. If he's been consistent in his effort and his interest in you, and it's over a long enough period of time, well, it's at that time that you need to start opening your heart to him, and trusting him and realize that he is genuinely interested in you.

Tip #2 is, you need to realize that there is a cool-down period that tends to happen when you are in a new committed relationship. Sometimes when you go from like the early phases of dating, you're just talking to the guy, and then you're suddenly now in a committed exclusive relationship, sometimes he starts to focus his energy elsewhere because he needs to go back to his work, or he needs to go back to his other priorities. And we call this the cool-down period because when you go from that honeymoon phase to now just everyday life being in a relationship together, it can feel like the relationship is really cooling off a bit. But it's not. It's just that you're adjusting to a normal life together.

Tip #3 is that you need to remember that he's not perfect, and you definitely aren't either. You need to keep your head straight. And remember that you are going to learn things about this man that you do not like. And there are gonna be flaws not only in him but also in the relationship. And when you put two of us together, well that sometimes creates flaws in a relationship. And that is okay, so long as there aren't deep fundamental issues in a relationship.

Tip #4 is to set very clear boundaries early on the relationship. Because if you don't set those boundaries early on, it's hard to set them later. I get it, maybe you're trying to be like the cool new girlfriend, who wants him to go off and do whatever it is that he wants to do, whenever he wants to do it. But I urge you, if he's really pushing the boundaries a bit, to have conversations early on, that might be a little bit uncomfortable. Well, you need to make it clear that you are in a relationship now, and this is how things are gonna work moving forward.

And finally, tip #5 is to just be patient. So many people, when they get in new relationships, they just wanna push things forward so quickly. And they feel like, if things aren't progressing forward, then there's a problem. But the reality is that it really takes at least a year of getting to know someone before you really know them on a very deep level. And this is why I don't recommend that you do anything that you can't go back on. And of course, having children together, or getting married even within the first year. Take that time to really get to know each other, and see whether or not this thing's a fit.

1. If the guy is treating you really well, be cautious but optimistic. You do need to be skeptical of overly investing in an idea of a man and instead open up over time after proven consistency. Don't end up chasing him unintentionally.
2. There can be a cool down phase following the start of the relationship to go back and tend to some of the day to day life things he may have put on the back burner as he courted you.
3. Remember he is not perfect and neither are you. You will learn things you don't like, and relationships are not perfect. Its okay as long as they aren't fundamental.
4. Set boundaries early on. Don't just be the cool new girlfriend who gives him everything he wants. Protect your needs so you can be happy.
5. Be patient! Things don't need to progress every time you see eachother. Keep enjoying eachothers company for what it is and don't rush milestones you can't take back like kids and marriage. It takes at least a year to know someone's heart and mind.

:)

[antoniadaines]

omg i dont even have a boyfriend why am i here? i think im addicted to your videos lol

[ECC]

Definitely number 1. I always feel like he has a hidden agenda when he does nice things.

[Swiss_Girl]

Nr. 5 is soooo important! thanks adam. i am now with my future husband and we took things slow (never had that) and everything is better then ever😍

[kirstenlaidlaw]

Such good advice, speaking as a woman in her 40’s who can look back on her failed relationships (including my 13 year marriage) and see how these all apply. Number five in particular really stands out as soooo important. Got married at 29 to a guy I’d met only seven months prior, and went into it feeling rushed and against my best instincts. I stuck it out as long as I possibly could, but in the end, I regret allowing myself to be rushed. Now starting to see someone who is taking things slowly, and LOVING that - to me, it’s a sign of respect and genuine interest in me as a person. No rushing relationships, ever again!

[lilbae--mimmie]

I'm in a new relationship now and this video helped me a lot, thank you🙏

[bubbelgumgirl]

Defintley think about taking things slowly 😅 I am always so fast when it comes to relationship, always going fast in it without thinking because I am in The moment. Because it takes time to get to know somone.Absloutley be patient is something I need. Also cool down period I always think something is wrong and I need to start be thinking of that it is not something wrong.

[shanicebentley]

Number 2! The cool down period. I’ve just started to understand that

[infinitetimer]

I just started a my first relationship and so did they. So, this was very helpful.

[lucyfunnell]

Thank you so much the videos really help me I am so happy in my new relationship thanks again. Lucy

[kelviannaepperson]

Me and my friend like each other I finally told him how I feel but now he's settled in another state and that's the only thing keeping us apart is what he said. I don't want to be presumptuous so I'm being patient to see how it will go

[jhuanav]

I’m not sure how i ended up on one of your videos on facebook but i’m very glad i did. You’re a blessing, Adam!

[joyruth]

The whole tips are just good for me I 'm still trying to build my new relationship thanks adam

[alexwill]

Honestly, it's so boring to meet a lady that is afraid to be in a relationship. Thanks for the video 🙏

[k.simmons]

This was exactly what I needed to hear. Thank you so much for this.

[donnahampton]

Can you make a video especially for those of us over 50? We don't want to have more kids, we are already at the peak of our careers, we have a good retirement account (or we don't), our house is paid for (or it's not) we are not likely to change our daily habits, et cetera.

[bax]

Watching with bf again, he loves watching too😄

[hannahking]

Thank you, it's truly so new to me. It's been years since I've been in one.

[elizabethbuakaitongai]

Heyy! Your introduction made me to subscribe immediately. Thanks 😊, great tips! All of them!

[janicep]

Is it normal if it happens after a month? (The cool down phase)