How To Understand Your Spouse During An Affair

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Dr. Joe Beam reveals the keys to understanding your spouse while they are having an affair. Understanding what your spouse is thinking during an affair is important to the healing of yourself and your marriage.

You are a lot stronger than you think you are. Sometimes, affairs happen where your spouse is a good person doing a bad thing. Sometimes, your spouse is a person who will keep falling into a spiral of bad actions. You must ask yourself: is this person worth rescuing? What kind of marriage can we have? Typically, if you and your spouse can work hard and save your relationship, it will come out even stronger than it was before. First, accept the fact that what they're doing is not your fault. Even if you're not perfect, it does not justify your spouse's actions. Second, try to understand that your spouse probably didn't have an affair in order to hurt you. Try not to take what they say personally, and make an effort to be there for them. If you can be the person to rescue and work with your husband or wife to bring them back to who they used to be (or better), you are trying to understand how they feel. The hard part will be to accept what your spouse feels, even if you don't like it. You will then find the strength in yourself to be a safe place for your spouse.

[TheGthcapo]

I recently discovered my spouse is in constant communication with a coworker. Im shocked how close they are. I lost my trust. I can see she trying to regain my trust on her. I still live her but the wounds are still hurting. Pray for us

[efthimios]

My wife of 15 years started an affair with a coworker and said she basically felt
Love like Never before I can’t believe I am not angry but more hurt and don’t want to lose my family and trying to save our marriage ... but she’s fallen for him .

[toadman]

Just dump them. Cut the strings, the marriage is dead. Improve yourself, take the good memories with you, don't look back.

[hifiman]

Understand the spouse? I abandoned my cheating ex. Good riddance.

[jerryramos]

The real danger here is waiting for your spouse. Move on with your life and meet someone better.

[donnaallgaier-lamberti]

It takes two people who both want to fight it person cannot "save" a marriage.

[antonglas]

If a partner truly loves you, no one could ever steal that partner away.
Once a partner cheats, even a one night stand or a quickie in the back of a car, than that`s it the marriage is spent, full stop.

[leticiacobarrubias]

OMG this channel should have millions more subscribers. Come on let's share to all our friends.

[bunnyyt]

I totally relate to what she said !! I did the same, my husbands affair was so very out of character, I knew something was seriously wrong,

[robertnine]

How are you supposed to be a safe place if you're doing smart contact and are separated? I see her every Sunday to exchange our daughter, but otherwise we don't talk. She's stuck in limerence...do I just wait until she comes to me to talk? Do I invite her to talk or walk or something? How would I do that without looking like a backup plan to her???

[nickywaggs]

I completely disagree with this. If your wife is having an affair, file the paperwork tomorrow! I’ll never understand people who take the other person back after they’ve slept with another person while you were married. Do you have zero self respect? Someone help me out here.

[vintagegirl]

It is the person you are married too, a CHEATER!!! Don't make excuses! He has you fooled!

[anyaanya]

If some one having affair with some he or she dont care about you

[denisships]

When there are kids involved is no longer just about the couple. For kids extra effort shall be done to endure, reduce psychological damaged and sustained legacy and generational wealth.

[jdunkmann]

@marriagehelper what if they are doing back to back affairs and blame you for the pain that is causing them to have the affairs, how can you become the safe space? She says I didn’t make her feel good enough. She has past trauma that makes her feel low self worth. She is a good person doing a bad thing.

[bepolite]

What's to understand? Will that make the pain any lesser? Doubt it.

[PJHEATERMAN]

I couldn't understand my wife's actions during her affair because limerence made her completely irrational and incapable of communication.

[vegacool]

When you read the story of King David and Bathsheba, I've never heard, "Uriah needs to take a good look at what he did in the marriage."

[Tiranga]

What is there to understand ? Divorce and leave !

[josepadin]

Love the teachings ! My question is does it apply to non Married couples ?