If Your Partner Does Not Want To Save The Relationship or Marriage

Note: This video is for people who are still living with their partner or are still in a relationship or marriage even though their partner or spouse has said they want out or want to separate/divorce. It can also be for when they come back and you both are trying to put things back together again. No contact is a means to an end and once they are considering getting back together then you two have to interact and talk to rebuild.

In this video, Coach Lee discusses what you can do if you are still interacting with your partner but he or she has expressed doubts or even says that they don't want to stay in the relationship or do any work to save it.

What can you do if your partner or spouse doesn't want to save your relationship or marriage?

In the labyrinth of human emotions, relationships can be a fascinating but intricate maze. Often, two individuals come together, seeking love, connection, and companionship. However, not all relationships follow a smooth path.

If you want to know how to save your marriage when your spouse doesn't want to, some face challenges when one partner seems unwilling to put in the effort, or even worse, expresses uncertainty about their commitment to the relationship or even outright says they want to leave. This video discusses the difficult terrain of relationships when one person refuses to work on it or expresses doubt about their involvement.

The Initial Spark and Early Promise

At the genesis of any relationship, there's usually an undeniable spark, an attraction that draws two people together. In the euphoria of newfound love, promises are made, and the future appears bright. However, as time progresses, couples must confront the realities of life, and maintaining a strong bond requires continuous effort and communication.

Signs of Trouble

When a partner begins to show signs of disinterest or hesitancy about the relationship, it can manifest in various ways. They may become emotionally distant, avoid important conversations, or start prioritizing their personal interests over the relationship. In some cases, they may even express outright doubts about whether they want to continue the relationship. They might even leave.

The Impact of Uncertainty

The emotional toll of having a partner express uncertainty about the future of the relationship or that they don't want to save it can be devastating. The other partner may experience feelings of rejection, inadequacy, and anxiety. They might question their own worth and wonder what they did wrong to prompt such doubts. This uncertainty can create a toxic atmosphere of insecurity and erode the foundation of trust that underpins a healthy relationship.

Communication Breakdown

When one partner withdraws emotionally or refuses to engage in discussions about the issues at hand, it exacerbates the existing problems. Open and honest communication is essential to address concerns and find a way forward. However, in situations where one partner has shut down, it can be extremely challenging to establish a meaningful dialogue.

Avoiding the Blame Game

It is vital for both partners to refrain from blaming each other for the current state of the relationship. Pointing fingers only deepens the divide and makes reconciliation more difficult. Instead, focusing on understanding each other's perspectives and feelings can foster empathy and pave the way for a more constructive conversation.

Seeking Professional Help

When a relationship hits a rough patch, seeking professional help from a relationship or marriage coach can be immensely beneficial. He or she can offer an impartial perspective and guide the couple through their challenges.

Self-Reflection and Personal Growth

In some cases, a partner's reluctance to work on the relationship may stem from their own personal struggles or unresolved issues. Encouraging self-reflection and personal growth can be a transformative step in overcoming these obstacles. A person must understand their own emotions and desires before they can fully commit to a relationship.

Setting Boundaries

While it's essential to be understanding and patient, there must also be clear boundaries regarding how much emotional turmoil one can endure. Repeatedly investing in a relationship where the other person refuses to reciprocate can lead to a toxic and unhealthy dynamic. Knowing when to step back and prioritize self-care is crucial.

[Ch.ris]

Well if someone can’t stay with you in your tough time, that person was never made for you anyway, people who actually love you like your family, close friends and God, never leave you no matter what

[varuns]

Trust Coach Lee and follow everything he says! I was in NC for a week with my girlfriend of 2 years. We were physically together for 2 years and then we had to do LDR for 5-6 months. She broke it off 2 weeks into the LDR and I was devastated. I made the mistake of trying to plead with her but to bo avail. The next day she told me she does not want this anymore and I politely accepted her decision. But after a week of total NC she came back literally crying asking me to take her back. People, do not try to convince your partner of your worth. Let silence do that for you. Just walk away peacefully and never look back. If your relationship lasted for a decent amount of time and healthy for the most part, there is a very high chance he/she would be back ( atleast to breadcrumb you). Stay strong and always know you have the strength deep down to do this. Thank you Coach Lee you are the best!!!

[Angel-emkh]

If they don't like you it's fine. In the end it's always their lost. What matters is your moving on and doing what you love. I am on my 3 months no contact and feel so much better 🙃

[Sunitha]

Absolutely! You do not want to save it today. Also - If they dumped you, saving it is their responsibility. Not yours. Trust the Journey..what is meant for you, will find its way back. If it is not for you - you are good. You are saved. 😊

[elmalanmalan]

They think they already worked on the relationship.but the problem is they did it all by themselves. Instead of working on together as a couple

[jgentile]

4 months NC and I haven’t heard anything. Watches stories but that’s it. Overall I have let go and whatever happens happens but I’m focusing on me

[albertodeulofeu]

Relationships aren’t worth it in modern times. Sad. It’s the most important part of life, and it has become the most elusive and screwed up.

[Prupru_.]

I want to say that I started watching your videos shortly after my breakup and went no contact. It’s been about two months now and we saw each other yesterday and held hands again. The rest is yet to come but things are looking bright. Thanks for all your advice coach lee!

[millyardopeacecraft]

No Contact works. The hardest part is maintaining discipline through it. But harder than that is if they do decide to come back. Is maintain the relationship. Because so many new factors are evovled.

[ElliotSlade]

On month 4 kings and queens. They started dating their crush less than a month after our 2 and a half year relationship. Stung like hell but NC has been the absolute best thing I could have done. Let them live that life without you and see what that feels like - If they love it, they aren't for you.

[urienswolfeson]

Coach Lee is spot on. Do not push them.
In my personal situation, she left for another. I didn't know she was a narcissist. She had planned on taking everything including my home from day 1. I did indeed go no contact, I kept a distance. Once again, not pushing. She made the choice to be with another. I focused on me. I worked on me.
I sought out counseling, I found my attitude changed, I found I became more attractive, and yet she still has not let things go. She still speaks about me (although in a poor light). I tried to save my marriage using coach lee's advise. Unfortunately it did save, but I am better off. A win.

[punisher]

The worst thing is when you help your partner trough toughest times and support them the entire time, you are always with them always checking on them and they even tell their friends how awesome you are etc..And yet they still decide to betray you. This happened to me after almost 1 year of relationship. She started ignoring me and eventually told me that she lost her feelings. But the worst thing is only few hours after the breakup she is with another guy, that she has been texting for a long time. My heart was shattered and this happened 3-4 months ago, and it still hurts when I remind myself of what she did to me. She moved on extremely quickly so I guess that she is unaware of the consequences in a long run.

[elharrop]

They usually come back, they just have to sulk for a bit first and stalk you on social media. Incredibly irritating that they come to same the conclusion that you were already at WEEKS/MONTHS later after you've already put yourself through hell and probably damaged your mental health and professional life as a result. What a colossal waste of time...However, i understand for some it's the only way as people don't tend to like to do things if it's not their own idea. *Sigh*

[ObscureManifesto]

After watching every single one of Coach Lee's videos and also the Emergency Breakup Kit I can conclude that his message is pretty much Don't ever contact them again, Move on with your life, Find a new partner and if eventually one day in the future that ex reaches out to you that you will have the option to try it again with them if you want to. It's all about gaining your power back ASAP.

[anothergalaxy]

Why would you want to be with someone who is unsure of you ? The only time is acceptable to try and retract them is when you somewhere messed up, not putting effort in and blaming it on being yourself

[ruthcrawford]

Always good/practical advice! I say get on with your own life, be friendly, fun, forgiving, with SP. You may not 'win SP back" but you WILL have their gratitude and respect!. Plus, you will have time to discover weather or not you really do, or really don't want them back. I can vouch for this one! Thanks Coach Lee...

[whoareyou]

I wish I you had this video out 2-3 years ago! I could’ve used this valuable information then to possibly save the relationship.

[aastoicmind]

Hello guys! I will keep you updated, to go through together this awful feeling. Sorry for my english. So...
After 1, 5 years in peace and love, she decided to brake up. Everything was fine always in the relationship, but as Coach Lee says she doesnt see a future with me right now. As she said. We broke up 3 days ago in peace, because Coach Lee told us not to be cold and rude. We both agreed if the fate wants us together in the future we won't resist. So 3 days of no contact now... It is hard, so hard... I'm watching Lee's videos, movies, i play games, yesterday finally I could do some workout. I don't know what will happen during no contact, but i have to try, i have no better chance to ger her back. The worst thing probably is that I don't know what is she doing, maybe she meet with other guys, i doubt it, but my brain kills me...

So thank you Coach Lee, and you guys stay strong, as I said, I will keep you updated.

[Paulina]

NC for almost 2 months. Found out he’s in a new relationship

[brentmoyer]

I genuinely hate all of the comments giving advice. You’re not the expert here, you’re most likely going through a break up giving horrible advice