If you feel like you're falling behind

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We often feel like we're falling behind in life, comparing ourselves to those who seem to be moving faster.

But when we take a moment to look back, we can see there are many going at the same pace or even slower.

Don't let comparison blind you to your own progress.

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Looking at other people's struggle doesn't seem to work very well for me, and sometimes it even devolves into making me hope for someone to fail so I'm feeling better about myself. Comparison is still the thief of joy even if you do it downwards. What helped me was an internal realization of what I really want in my life, and that it doesn't matter if I'm faster or slower than other people. I have my own goal and unique circumstances, and I found that comparing the progress people make on different mental paths doesn't tell me anything.

excalibro
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You are right. Only recently I came to realize that there are much more people behind me than I was realizing before. That gave me the strength to make a chenge in my life, knowing that I am not without means to do so.

natasavelimirovic
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I sometimes feel like I'm behind in life. I'm autistic so I struggle with a lot of things that seem normal to other people. At 29 I've never had a relationship or a proper stable job, although I'm trying to make a career out of my art, and I still live with my mum. I have to remind myself that I'll be ready for those things when I'm ready, and there's no point in comparing my progress in life to others ❤

cyborgsofuranus
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Great points! Also lets others see what other difficulties people face-we aren’t isolated or alone!

alison
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I feel like this right now. Good timing. Stressing about life and the future.

lisaoutinen
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Your message is a powerful reminder to pause, reflect, and appreciate our own journey amidst the rush of life. Comparing ourselves to others often leads to unnecessary stress and anxiety. Thank you for the insightful story and encouragement!

ScottHeartAndSoul
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I am so isolated. I cant force myself to get out. I cant make myself do anything. What the hell is wrong with me? Even the things I like doing at home I cant get myself to do. I read a David Goggins book and I feel so ashamed of myself. So I get on here and complain. That comes easily. The dishes are
Looming over me, a shower, WTF? Am I going to have the rest of my life be filled with horrible memories of being in suspended animation? Wasting it away? I can't. Every day I promise today I'll go out, today I'll clean up what looks like a hoarders house, today I'll draw and crochet. But nothing.

MarciaB
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"Watch out, the world's behind you
There's always someone around you who will call
It's nothing at all" -Velvet Underground

Not sure how pertinent to your anecdote this song is, but it reminds me of it!

mYcRiSpDiScK
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And you never know whether those people who are “outpacing” you actually in the right direction

jakovlevs
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I’m 26, freshman college student.
I feel so behind life. And I’m trying not to compare myself to other students who are almost 8 years younger than me.

yuka-coco
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Really great advice. Thanks Dr. Scott. 😊

kitcat
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Wow, that's so true! I liked your story to illustrate this. 😊

pickledherring
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Thanks for being my online counselor. I appreciate you.

margo
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This is true. No matter what little or large anxiety we have - we are still ahead of others. 😊

jadeybabes
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(27M) I've put tons of skill points into mental and physical health. My current struggle is finding a way to maintain those while I incrementally develop monetary worth and social links

iamwilson
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A lot of people say 'baby steps' are ok. But I feel like the world moves too fast for me. My job takes up a lot of my time & when I get home I'm so physically & emotionally exhausted I can't seem to get anything done, much less enjoy any of my hobbies. I feel so overwhelmed.

megdelaney
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My parents taught me to look at the ones better than me.... Not the ones behind me

hannahmuller
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Been falling behind these days. Don't know what else to say about that. Maybe effort don't always pay off in the end. And sometimes that can be a harder pill to swallow.

sophiaisabelle
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I am being under attack of alexandrova, i dont claim for their love as im adult and absolutely aware that they will never see me as a human being but attacking me is kind of too much so im just trying to survive at the moment

aliyaaliya
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Not a good example to be honest. In context of how the phrase is generally used from the video title, relates to far more invasive subjects within your life such as financial and relationship status. You are either are financially stable or you're not; you either have a partner and/or have strong peer/family relationships or you don't. You could technically be in the middle where you say you're almost there, or working on it, however no one really knows or cares about your progress in reality until you reach it. If looking down on people who's behind or around me makes my outlook 'better', then it's really no different than looking up at people who's ahead. This contradicts on not comparing to others in general since looking behind others is condescending to gauge progression. If you want to speak on relativity, we don't know anything about other people's circumstances, so the objective point of being ahead or less behind is all fabricated on not being last - which is not the point of life in any form. This is the rat race mentality where having compassion is a novelty in the modern world.

prowess