Why You Should NOT Use Online Dating

#narcissist #dating #hgtudor

Do not use online dating - this video sets out very clearly why this should not be done, despite its apparent convenience, range and accessibility.

[kimberley]

Online dating is indeed a playground for the personality disordered and unfortunately, I learned that the hard way.

[amyemerson]

If I have a penchant for poorly selecting intimate partners in the ‘real world’ then it ain’t going to go any better online.

[annettestocke]

My narcissist lives on plenty of fish, where I met him 3 1/2 years ago. I was the perfect prey for him. He continued to groom me and create horror like I’ve never experienced before. He still has the exact same profile up. He said he knows within 30 minutes if he wants to pursue you. He is highly addicted to online dating and Facebook. Those are his complete fuel sources. He accumulates lonely vulnerable women who are desperate to be loved. Just like Tudor says he has tons of pictures of himself and some of them are 8 years old. He is 58 and aging. He is in a scripted time warp like a 7 year old. If I could see into his life he probably has said and played out the same broken record with every single woman left in his trail of destruction.

[gwenlittle]

I was just having this conversation with my single friend the other day. It's a playground for narcissistic behaviour. I hear it's similar to appliance shopping.

[dlouise]

Very good advice. I met 2 partners online, both were narcissists, and by the time we met in person I was ensnared from all the messages & phone calls.

[l.c]

I guess I must be lucky. I met my partner online and he is really lovely, we have been together 8 years now.

[phylliscarlton]

I made a decision long ago not to use online dating when I realized that it was the ideal format for my narc ex. I wanted to avoid meeting others of his kind. Thanks for confirming this, HG.

[Areutherehello]

People keep urging me to date online. Not comfortable with it at all. I don't know them, and how do I know if they're not being authentic and straightforward? Too many horror stories out there. No thanks.

[deanasmusic]

Narcissists can show up out of anywhere, in person, through networks, or online. When you're able to identify both overt and covert narcissists quickly, it doesn't matter where you meet them. When your boundaries and standards are solid, it's okay to meet anyone from anywhere. Self-love, self-respect, awareness, and good assessment are key to avoiding the snare of a narcissist.

[viewer]

I wish I had have seen this video years ago.

It is all true that this man just said.

[dorothystovall]

Met second husband through online dating. At the time I had no idea he was a diagnosed narcissist. I went through eleven years of sheer hell with periodic discards, gaslighting, and every other narcissistic behavior. Thank god for the final discard. I got away and got my life back. Sure, he took everything and every penny I had, but I got away.

[crimeuncovered-silkekaiser]

Met my sociopath on internet dating. He has escort agencies. He sleeps wiyh both men and women. He is into bondage. I had no idea until after I had been discarded. I wrote a book about THAT relationship. He was my biggest teacher. I am so realistic now about romance that I am bordering on cynical. Internet dating sites are breeding grounds for narcs. Like a swamp that stinks and is haunted by demons.

[lainey]

HG, one of the reasons I listen to you is so that I can recognize a narcissist.

[Grandmastergav]

I do think there are many snare traps inherent with online dating that the emerging generations are fairly likely to fall afoul of, I mean anyone could but the way that youngsters minds have been shaped these days makes them especially vulnerable to malevolent behaviour. From an early age I realised that you should seldom take things at face value, this is especially true with dating/relationships. Young adults are so sheltered these days that their social immaturity will impact negatively upon their lives and online dating being what it is, they'll be entering a minefield they are simply not equipped to navigate. I've been catfished, it was a horrible experience BUT it was a learning experience and thankfully it didn't cost me anything, apart from bruising my ego briefly. I bounced forward from this, improved my health and now I'm in a wonderful relationship. I've always been a cynical, resilient person, I do worry that others may not be able to move on and use such an experience for self-improvement.

[flippafloppa]

Netflix has created the perfect program for narcissist dating: love is blind.

[lucibloom]

I never date or go on dating apps! The few times I did I had some pleasant conversations but no real connections and I didn’t want to stay. Everyone I know who dates has had shitty experiences with time wasters and narcissistic idiots. The right person will show up when the time is right. Until then I’m ok with being single with cats 🐱

[gabrielamartiniuc]

Online dating : NIGHTMARE
Men seeking attention and to be pursued. Men becoming angry and retaliating in a rage over simple things like “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize you had such small kids, mine are already teenagers and I’m not interested in a man with small kids. (Unless he was truly interested in marriage, was an amazing man and he and I had more kids and I helped him with his) otherwise, NO I am not going to be your little fun gf on the side at your convenience, on your terms .

[crystalclear]

The only time I met a guy online he became my narcissistic abuser for 3 yrs he has changed my life forever!!! I didn’t even like him nor wanted to meet a guy I was just bored and wanted to talk Then he came over we spoke and no joke he just got me he wouldn’t leave it became a drug fuelled nightmare and then I became a drug addict to cope with the abuse.Before I met him was my life and now it’s like after I met him is like the different life he deserves to be in jail he is a danger to society.

[APlus-qxno]

I know some long-term happy couples (neither party is a narcissist) who met on online dating sites. Had they followed this advice, they would not be together. So for those who wish to proceed, I think H.G. should do a video on vetting out online narcissists (if he hasn't already). (Granted no vetting method is foolproof.) This would include excluding people who sound too good to true, move too fast, etc. Perhaps there's even a way to search a photo to see if it's a stock photo.

P.S. H.G, what percentage of people using online dating sites would you estimate are narcissists?

[keikurooka]

I'm too proud and love myself than to go down that road looking for jerks that lurk in dating sites