The power of grief after leaving the narcissistic family

Today, let’s talk about the transformative power of grief after leaving a narcissistic family behind.

This video explores the pivotal realization that the worst has already occurred, shedding light on the cycle of hopeful longing for validation from the narcissist.

Grief accompanies the acknowledgment that the idealized connection once yearned for will never materialize. It's a profound recognition of shattered illusions and unmet needs.

#jayreid #jayreidpsychotherapy

[reginapolo]

3 years ago I left both, my narc mother and husband. I cut off all friends in common with my husband because he had already tod them his story. I kept in touch with a brother and some family member but at arms lengh. I finally got over the guilt and hope that my mother was going to treat me better. To all young people out there, don't wait until you are 56 to go. Please dont. They are not going to change.

[warrenbradford]

I must use the transformative power of grief to fully recover from the narcissistic abuse I want to. I need to cry over the relationship I have had with my narcissistic mother and sister. "Pleasure is shallow, our sorrows are deep"- Native American proverb

[onehuman]

Its confusing recognising safe people as the narcissist would ironically say your only safe with me even though they were abusive to help. Thanks jay you have clarified alot of confusion where the normal growing up is in awareness not normal and can save others from this mind knot.

[kalm]

Jay, thank you for making sense out of the

[krismarsh]

Do you have a video for we parents of a narcissist? Decades of abuse and little information for us. We carry on because of the guilt. Because all the messages are it's on us to parent. Because they hold grandchildren as bait.

[scottwells]

"The cost of admission to a relationship with a narrsasist is self annihilation" Pete walker, from surviving to thriving. The losses are CATASTROPHIC and the grief overwhelming. There's a lot to be grieved for, so many deaths. The loss that underpins all others is the SOUL MURDER. The grieving process ( which I am deep in) is in part attempts at soul retrieval. But be careful who you let into your life when going through this process, I found myself reaching out to unsafe/ abusive people early on..

[wren]

After leaving the Narcisstic family, you come to realize that some of your bosses are Narcissists and your significant others and you finally leave these entrapment and you realize your government is Narcissitic and gaslighting and it never seems to end. The gift is I can all see it now. I thought when my mother died it would all be over and apparently it will never end, your just grow and heal. The Narcissitic system lives on in our corporations, government and our world.

[marcuslong]

Can confirm this. It's the proximity of this person or ppl in your life that is causing the chaos. Once you break the toxic bond, and become happy with yourself, you'll naturally move away from anything that causes you emotional harm. Which is healthy and normal.

[magdalenamlodozeniec]

Leaving the narcissistic family is a must. However, after a childhood of abuse scapegoat remains isolated and alone for life. Family never addresses the abuse or trauma afflicted on the scapegoat. He must leave to protect sanity and to remain isolated and lonely for life. Reviewing my childhood memory I came to a painful realization that I was never allowed to be a child. Details of abuse and neglect are too painful for me to face🖤🖤🖤

[Peecup]

I was lucky enough to find a great therapist that showed me this exact thing. He showed me how healthy people relate. He saved my life.

[melissamiller]

My mother disowned me 4 years ago. It was actually a blessing. I grew up with a very covert narcissist stepdad. I always Been a doormat, people pleaser. Scared to say no to anyone. We got disowned or kicked out the house if we had feelings or opinions. My mom never protected us..we were always bad if we spoke up. She cut me out of the will.
Hurts not having a mom that loves me..but learning to love myself has been the best gift ❤❤❤

[blukatzen]

I was raised in a very toxic emotionally abusive family. They're gone now as I'm 62 as I write this.
I was an adoptee, and I was taught "to be grateful" that I was given to my parents. That I had a home. I'm not going to get into all the abuse I'd suffered but just let's say they took a lot of their frustrations out on my little body. If this happened in today's world they'd have been put in jail. It was a different world in the 60s where many children died and many of us were scarred.
The thing that saved me was the idea that I was not RELATED to them, and I could be my own person in my adult years.
I had 2narcisstic husband's, 1 emotional, the other physical. I needed closure so I sought out these videos to start understanding what I've been through. I need to tell you I'm still understanding and am growing out of the trauma.
Adoptive kids deal with our own set of problems, and that needs to be addressed as well.

[fantasip]

This reminds me of a psychologist I once happened to talk to who said ''I have to mourn everything I was entitled to but never got", referring to being a child growing up within a dysfunctional family system. It was 35 years ago but these words made an everlasting impact on me, often reflecting on it and something that became very helpful to me during the years. At the time being I didn't even know anything about narcissism or words like 'dysfunctional family'. I don't remember what we were talking about or why but I think it was meant for me to hear. I think it resonates very well with "The power of grief after leaving the narcissistic family"

[ginagee]

I'm greiving the love I gave to these evil people. I'm greiving the inability to ever truly love myself. I'm also enraged that I was forced to see these creatures as better than myself. I pray every day for deliverance from their evil and protection from allowing other devil's in my life. Thanks Jay the video helps.

[evek]

If you are an adult family member, and you see a narcissist inflicting cruelty on a minor, it is your responsibility to protect the minor, not the narcissist. I can't believe I even have to say this, but apparently, protecting a minor seems to be a rare thing these days. Why is this happening in our present-day society? When did we stop protecting children?

[dotsyjmaher]

OMG...I have been struggling for a couple of weeks...I keep noticing pictures of mothers reading to their child ...kissing them goodnight... hugging or warmly smiling at their child..and just REALLY absorbing the fact that she NEVER did those things...and not feeling depressed....but I finally realized it is not depression but lifelong SADNESS...
I decided to check your post and it was EXACTLY what I needed ..THANK YOU AGAIN SO MUCH!

[pavla]

I 've often wished over the years that I had put thousands pf miles between myself and family when I left home . Starting out with 15 miles separation and trying to maintain a low contact just didn't work, Narcissists still need a scapegoat and seek you out and bad mouth you to all the relatives still - they had to be left behind to clear the air too. A clean break with a great distance would have been the only effective solution .

[ericeric]

Scapegoat here - They make it sound so over and lonely. I am the scapegoat and I have the best connections with my inner circle and work relationships. Most of us become very successful in a field of our choice and live the beautiful life we deserve. You are your surroundings make sure it’s a safe space for you! Much love!

[bonnieforman]

I walked away after being told I had "false memory syndrome" about my father's abuse after 9 hours of therapy with 2 siblings.. I haven't seen anyone in my family in 19 years except maybe 6 unexpected street and work encounters with siblings, all of which were traumatizing and shaming to me. It took me the better part of 10 years to fully grieve the loss of a "tribe." I always knew my parents were off-the-charts fucked up, but it was the betrayal of my two siblings that hurt the most and does to this day. Really insightful content, Jay. Thank you.

[chasityray]

In my journey to discover myself, I've had many bad experiences with therapists. Having your content each Sunday is my therapy right now! Your videos cut to the core of what I have experienced and the fact that you offer concrete actions for solutions is life-changing. You are allowing me to look toward myself instead of toward other people for the first time in my life. Thank you.