AITA for excluding my mom’s “step-daughter” from my baby shower?

AITA for excluding my mom’s “step-daughter” from my baby shower?

I will be referring to the “step-daughter” as Mary. I say step daughter in quotes because her (my mom) and her fiance are not married and have no plans of marrying each other anytime soon. That’s another story.

Anyway, I’m having a baby shower for my 2nd child. My mom and I were discussing RSVP’s and she said “I will be there and so will my fiance and Mary”. I reminded her it was just girls who will be there and she said she forgot but that it will be her and Mary. I explained to her that I want her to be there for sure, but unfortunately Mary is going to have to stay with her dad. My mom asked if it was a kid free baby shower and if my 4 year old daughter will be there. I said yes she will be there. No it isn’t child free, but explained to her that Mary has been mean to my daughter in the past, every single time Mary is around my daughter she is snatching from her, pushing her, and just being mean. They are the same age but Mary is clearly not being disciplined at home and I don’t want to be worrying about whether or not my daughter is being bullied at the baby shower.

My mom said Mary is 4 years old and doesn’t know any better. I said “she should know better, my 4 year old doesn’t go around pushing and being mean to children all of the time, and if she does that behavior is corrected and stops”. My mom took offense to this, I tried to keep the conversation short and said Mary is not allowed to come. I think I’m being reasonable but my mom says that I’m being unreasonable and unwelcoming to “family”. She says she will keep an eye on Mary to make sure it doesn’t happen, but I don’t even allow my mom to have my daughter alone since she lives with Mary and her fiance, because there have been times where I have seen Mary shove my daughter into the pool, once into a ball pit, and just randomly snatching toys from her and being mean and my mom doesn’t do anything until I say something myself, then says how she doesn’t know any better. My mom says she wants to bring Mary regardless or she might just have to send a present to my home and not come.

I have friends and family siding with me saying I’m being reasonable for not wanting to have to stress about Mary interacting with my daughter at the shower, but family who is siding with my mom and saying I should just invite Mary so my mom can come to the shower. And they’ve also said I can just keep Mary and my daughter separate

AITA?

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