What Is The Stupidest Way You've Injured Yourself?

▶ Fresh AskReddit Stories: What Is The Stupidest Way You've Injured Yourself? 🔥 2nd channel with exclusive Reddit stories!

[sophiaann]

As a kid I had watched a cartoon where a person stepped on a shovel and got hit in the face with the handle. Not sure why but I was convinced it wouldn't work, so I did it, and it indeed slammed little me in the face 😂

[PleaseElaborate]

once while doing yard work I came to the side of a hill that was a bit too steep for a push mower I grabbed the weed-eater and thought "It's just a small patch. no need for safety glasses." It was full of stickers. just minutes later I was in the bathroom with eye drops and a pair of tweasers. Thank God the self-surgery was a success.

[esimon]

I decided to try and do a somersault on a Bouncy Castle whilst drunk.

I ended up kneeing myself in the face and nearly breaking my nose.

[CelesteKTheNewWaveRevue]

Speeding on a ten-speed bike with a gear shift in the middle of the bike frame. I slammed the front wheel first into a lamp post and I fell over. I never cried so much in my life and I ended up at the emergency room at the Hospital for Sick Children with 7 stitches below my right knee and quite a story to tell my family and friends.

[kellenadams]

i broke the only bone i’ve ever broken by smacking my hand full-force against a trampoline trying to play volleyball

[KitsuneYashaX]

"I was undone by an empty paper bag."
Better than mine!
Literally sat down on the commode/toilet too hard because I had just gotten home from grocery shopping and really had to go.
Two days later, completely lose control of my legs.

[esmooth]

When I was 13 years old, I cut my elbow on a rusty garbage dumpster, trying to slide the door open so I could throw my garbage out. I still have a scar where it happened, and I had to get a tetanus shot. I didn't even realize I cut myself until I got back in the house, where I noticed I was bleeding and covered in said rust

[robertvelasquez]

I have three that could be considered the worst pain I have felt. I had my kneecap dislocated just last year from a fall after getting up from a nap in a reclining chair where both legs just went numb and I fell on my kneecap to a stack of milk crates that were loaded with stuff inside as I did not make it budge even after slamming into the stack with my entire body weight rag-dolled from numbness. I was weighing between 160 and 175 pounds. Between ten and twenty years ago, a toolbox fell on my head while my dad had to block and turn it around to a safe edge to avoid getting impaled by a corner of said box. But the absolute worst I had to go through was passing ONE kidney stone. It was the middle of the night and I felt the urge to pee after having quite a weird dream. Sat on the toilet and took a while, but had to loud moan scream as quietly as I could, because everyone else was asleep, meaning my parents and uncle. I felt like wanting to scream my lungs out during the passing of that stone.

[melissar]

Sliced my thumb open cleaning a deli slicer. Wet paper towel + running slicer = lots of blood. I was a dumb teenager.

[denver]

Reached into the backseat to adjust my backpack for some reason. This was high school and I was taking a lot of ap classes so my backpack weighed about 30 lbs. I pulled the muscle in my shoulder so bad that I couldn't do anything with my left arm for about 3 days

[mrjth]

Was playing with my dog. Running up and down the hallway with her, foot caught a corner, looked down and my pinky toe was sideways

[iluvspongebob]

Went to scratch my eyelid while wearing a sleep mask and my nail ended up slipping between my lids and jabbing me in the eye. Silver lining, I got a cool scar out of it.

[scragar]

I once dropped a knife and without thinking just instinctively went to grab it to avoid it hitting the floor.

Got a nice cut across 3 fingers for that move.

It's one of those things where I know the right thing to do is step back(so it doesn't stab your feet), but just in the moment I didn't even think. Years of dropping stuff that isn't knives has taught me to try to catch it to make sure it doesn't break/get dirty from the floor/make a mess.

[businessgamer]

I rode bike down a hill and fell over, breaking my clavicle. It was summer 2014, and I was 7 going on 8.

[petermontoya]

In the mid 90's I locked my keys inside a Ford truck. I had the great idea to remove the back window by pulling off the rubber seal. Well, I did thousands of dollars worth of damage. I later found out that if I were to break the door window it would have cost me $100. Also I didn't know that I had roadside maintenance on my auto insurance. I could have called Sate Farm and they would have sent someone to open my truck for free. Sometimes we are all dumbasses.

[sew]

When I was young... Kindergarten I think... I put a panel of glass on my brother's bed and was "tap dancing" barefoot when it broke. 6 (I think) stitches.

Same year, I think, I was "galloping" to the car after a concert and tripped myself up, and scraped my face up badly.

One more, I don't remember if this was the same year, or shortly after (I was accident prone I guess) my sister was teaching my to bat, inside the house, with a wood baseball bat. I had a roll of clear contact paper. SMACK! I now had a black eye.

Oh! There was also a time where my siblings (there were 4 of us) were throwing around pop bottles (I think) and one caught me on the forehead.

[milnoeghosty]

I managed to hit myself in the face with a baseball. Was at the batting cages and hit the ball which caused it to spin backwards and upwards into my nose. I had to wait for the pitching machine to finish before going to the bathroom to clean up. I also have my nose pierced so when my nose started to bleed, it bled out of the piercing hole as well which scared the shit out of everyone else in my gym class. My glasses are the only reason my nose didn't break.

[rosegilliland]

Old school stapler. Was jammed. Kept pressing on it. Nothing. Flipped it around and placed it directly on my thumb and with my other hand, pressed down and yeah, the staple came out, and into my thumb. I sat there staring at my thumb dumbstruck then ripped it out. Blood gushed out. Used cheep tape to close the wound. Was 14 at the time. Dumb but I can laugh at the memory now.

[kendoruslink]

I thought the one about the OP throwing a grape was going to hit the OP in the face and injure him/her

[nicholasnguyen]

Ripped my pinkie toe nail (the entirety of it) while jumping on a mattress.