Asexuality + The 5 Types of Attraction | it's more than sexual and romantic?

Why hello there! I'm super excited to share this video all about the 5 different types of attraction. I find this topic super interesting and as soon as I learnt about it I knew I had to make a video!

Learning about the 5 types of attractions is a great way to understand a whole range of identities - including those on the ace and aromatic spectrums - and to broaden how we think about sexual, romantic and platonic relationships. I really hope you enjoy this little attraction 101!

Sources/further resources:

- Ash Hardell's video series on ace/aro identities:

- Short Psych2Go video on the 5 types of attraction:

- Intro to demisexuality from the Demisexuality Resource Centre:

- Massive list of attraction types/sexualities/romantic orientations from Healthline:

I'm sending you lots of love! See you soon, Tallulah xx

[marzipanlove]

94 times! Or at least that’s how many times I caught the word “attraction”, “attracted” or “attractive”. Not that anyone asked for this but there you go.

[sarahsings]

"We Live in a Society" - on a coffee mug! 😀💜

[lizzsoileau]

I’m a lesbian who is still heavily aesthetically attracted to men and OCCASIONALLY sexually attracted to them (mostly unattainable celebrity men). I thought for a long time that that meant I was bisexual but then I realized that it was mostly bc of comphet and that I don’t wanna actually pursue a relationship (sexual or romantic) with a man. As explained in the lesbian masterdoc, “lesbian doesn’t need to mean ‘only experiences attraction towards women’, it can mean ‘only feels comfortable, only prefers, and only priorities women & relationships with them’”

[pinkopat]

I still have a hard time distinguishing between types of attraction, except platonic attraction, platonic attraction makes me feel the way love at first sight is portrayed in movies, I love it and I love my friends

[dannie]

Discovering there was more than sexual and romantic attraction was like having a light click on in my brain. Like suddenly having 'crushes' and being attracted to people while having no desire to sleep with or date them made sense. Even if it can sometimes be hard to distinguish between everything, and also can be a damn mouthful to try and explain to others. Like explaining to someone how I'm bi while also being on the aro and ace spectrums

[squeakymilichen]

yes! i really needed this. i've been struggling a lot with figuring out whether i like men or not (whether i'm bi or a lesbian) and watching this has been really helpful, cause i never really realized that i'm actually aesthetically attracted to men and not sensually or sexually

[baudrey]

I'm a very romantic and sensual demisexual person, and I've been very misunderstood by most of my past boyfriends. Most people don't get it, but this video made me feel seen ahah
Thank you for this and new subscriber here!
Kisses from France xx

[Amselweiblich]

Sidenote: Love is also detached from attraction. Some Ace-Aromantic People can still experience Love without the romantic or other attraction to their partner.

[celiwhaaat]

As an AroAce I’d like to say thank you for this video, because I think it’s really helpful for all people to know, that there are different kinds of attraction!
I’d like to add that there is also intellectual attraction (the impulse to initiate mental contact because the other person is very smart or funny, etc.) and emotional attraction (the impulse to be emotionally close to somebody).
These can of cause be linked to other kinds of attraction, in my case plutonic attraction. Like I have friends with whom I want to hang out and have fun and interesting conversations and stuff, but I don’t feel the need to interact in an emotional way.
There are probably even more kinds of attraction, that just wait to be named and I am always really excited to hear about them because they give so much insight into the human nature.

[cheezpuffgrawr]

*Just gets out of an intense therapy session unpacking issues with my mom*

Ah yes, let's unwind with Tallulah!

*Confronted with my on going sexuality struggles*
Mmmm.... We're gonna save this for when I'm a little more stable.

Love your content, just gotta do some self care first ❤️

[Bigfatbutterfly]

Me for the last couple of months: 'how can I be both bi and ace?'
Tallulah: 'Hold my coffee.'

[NFC]

SENSUAL ATTRACTION. YES. Thankyou for that information it makes so much sense. I’m polyamorous and am in a wlw monogamous relationship, and I find it hard to explain why I feel like I want to be physically close to my best guy friends without necessarily wanting to date/sleep with them! But now I understand it’s just sensual attraction that I feel towards them!!!! (I still consider myself poly though but now I understand my emotions/feelings so much better wow thankyou!!

[EUREKKA]

ALL THE ATTRACTIONS I KNOW (and you should learn):

1. Sexual Attraction: Having the capacity to feel sexually attracted to someone.
2. Romantic Attraction: Having the capacity to feel romantically attracted to someone.
3. Platonic Attraction: Having the capacity to feel platonically attracted to someone or wanting to be their friend really badly.
4. Aesthetic Attraction: Having the capacity to feel aesthetically attracted or pleased by someone's (gender) expression.
5. Sensual Attraction: Having the capacity to feel or want to be felt, or spoken, or closely physically linked with someone. (seperate from sexual attraction.)
6. Emotional Attraction: Having the capacity to feel or want to know someone emotionally or be inside their head.
7. Alterous Attraction: Having the capacity to feel attracted to someone either between platonic or romantic, or in a completely different/separate and nonromantic/nonsexual emotional way.
8. Queer/Quasiplatonic Attraction: Having the capacity to feel as if you want to be in a Queer/Quasiplatonic partnership/relationship with someone.
9. Intellectual Attraction: Having the capacity to feel attracted to someone most likely in a nonromantic/nonsexual way about their knowledge of things or insight of other people or of you.


BONUS TERMS:

1. Gender Envy: The desire to act, appear, or just be like someone that you most likely find aesthetically pleasing to look at, in other words, wanting to adopt their mannerisms, voice, features, etc due to a liking of their gender expression.
2. Queer/Quasiplatonic Partnership/Relationship: A partnership whereby you most likely want to be together with someone in a nonromantic and nonsexual way, yet still committed and emotionally/alterously in tuned.
3. Angled AroAce: Existing on both of the aromantic and asexual spectrums and experiencing maybe sexual/romantic attraction, or the tertiary ones (aswell). (e.g. demisexual grayromantic, cupiosexual, lithromanic, or aceflux aroflux.)
4. Oriented AroAce: Being 100% aromantic and asexual, but having the capacity to feel other nonromantic and nonsexual attractions strong enough to warrant another orientation label next to their aroace one. (e.g. gay, lesbian, bi, omni, poly, pan, etc.)
5. Tertiary Attraction: Any form of attraction that is not romantic or sexual. (e.g. Alterous, Queerplatonc, Platonic, etc.)

_If I missed any terms or you want to add any, reply with it! Other than that, that's basically all I know!_
(Edit: sorry for the typos!)

[faeviglietti]

This is fantastic !!! Thank you, so validating for asexual people! 👏🏻👏🏻💕💕

[conlon]

7:52 I feel like it's also super common to want to be super cuddly and physically close with family members, and even sometimes close friends, so I feel like people must be able to distinguish them... at least I hope haha!

[Lexa-pcyj]

This distinction between sensual and sexual ist just mindblowing to me. I was confused so much because I thought they were the same and I experience very strong sensual attraction and did not understand how it makes sense that I often feel asexual in some way but at the same time grave a lot of physical contact in the sense of sensual attraction, literally made me cry to hear your explanation because everything made so much sense suddenly.

[aitana]

Hi Tallulah!
Two weeks ago I discovered your channel and I watched all your videos, specially the ones about comphet. They helped me realise I don't actually like boys and I'm not bi but a lesbian. This is the first time I even write it and I'm starting to accept and love my identity. And people like you help me a lot, really. So I just wanted to say thank you for your amazing content 🌈💜

(Sorry for the bad English, I'm from Spain)

[ameliawade]

Thankyou, this video has been so eye opening and useful. I recently realized that I have stong sexual attraction to men, but no romantic attraction whatsoever, and have strong romantic attraction to women, but weak sexual attraction. I've always felt weird and like there was something seriously wrong with me, but seperating out the different attractions has allowed me to start making sense of myself. And hearing about these other types of attraction that I didn't even know about is really helpful too, and I can now say that I have strong sensual, aesthetic and romantic attraction to women, but not men. And the mention of demisexulity has helped a ton, I feel now that I can now say I'm demisexually attarcted to women, and sexually attracted to men but without the other attractions. thanks again :)

[Thelittleclipstore]

I feel like the attraction that is only for the physical or sensual part isn’t a attraction that lasts or a real magnetic pull attraction.that’s really in sync with one another, Cuz I find that once u get to know the person on deeper level and u don’t like them as a best friend atleast then u don’t find them attractive anymore or drawn to them anymore

[riverlua]

Found your video on comphet while looking for how it impacts asexual people, so glad I found this video on asexuality and the 5 types of attraction <3 loving your content, you explain things very well