REVERSE CULTURE SHOCK returning to the USA from the Netherlands 😵‍💫

In this episode, Michelle and Alex discuss their reverse culture shock experience returning to the United States after being in the Netherlands for nearly two years.

Episode 113 · Filmed on January 7, 2024 · Dordrecht, the Netherlands

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0:00 Introduction
0:54 Number 8
2:20 Number 7
3:44 Number 7.5
4:11 Number 6
6:43 Number 5
7:38 Number 4
9:16 Number 3
10:11 Number 2
11:41 Number 1
13:23 Are we moving back to the USA?

#netherlands #expatlife #cultureshock

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WHO IS BUNCHARTED?

We're Michelle and Alex, an American expat couple living abroad in the Netherlands. 🇳🇱

In 2020, we quit our jobs to travel the world, and... well, that didn't happen. So in 2022, we decided to make an even BIGGER change: to pack up our lives (and our cats 🐈) and move from Austin, Texas, in the United States, to the Netherlands. Subscribe for new videos like this every week!

[Infyra]

I would rather have a private meal then having waiters hovering over me, no matter how friendly they are!

[jeffafa]

I really prefer a more European style of serving tables. I don't like being bothered by waitresses constantly asking me "if everything is still okay" or immediately snatching my plate after I've just eaten the last bite of my meal. It makes me feel like I'm in a factory instead of in a diner or restaurant...

[picrijogil]

As a Belgian, I can identify with just about every part of your reverse culture shock, from back when I was working in the US for a while. Especially the part about the health care system. In fact we had a joke among the colleagues that wasn't really a joke - we regularly mentioned "if anything ever happens to me - don't call an ambulance, but a taxi, and book me a first class plane ticket". And that was true for all the Europeans working in the group. It is beyond me how a civilised country can have a "health care" system for their citizens that is so utterly terrifying and has so much potential for total individual financial ruin.

[jennyh]

I’m German and I love the „server let’s you have your meal in peace and with a nice conversation, while always looking (but rarely asking) if you need anything“ kind of service.
I really felt rushed in US restaurants. It felt like they wanted to throw me out as soon as I finished eating.

[Lea-rbnc]

I never felt culture shock when I left my native California and moved to the south of France. However I an obligatory return two years later was a nightmare. I couldn't get back to the EU fast enough. I am minutes from several gorgeous Mediterranean beaches and can be in Spain in under one hour. I chose a charming village surrounded by vineyards. Sixteen years and counting, why would I want to be anywhere else. If I want to go anywhere, a ticket on our wonderful rail system will take me anywhere I care to go.

[fridensfrojd]

I am from Sweden and I was blown away of how helpful many in the U.S was when it came to everyday stuff. They really went out of their way to make me feel welcome, driving me places, inviting me over, getting me stuff. It was truly wonderful and inspiring! When it comes to social welfare politics though, their views could be terrible with very little empathy and readiness to be helpful, and that was such a strange paradox to me. In Sweden, people are generally way more grumpy on the outside (haha), but you can mostly count on that there is an empathetic basic view of humanity and an understanding that we can all get into trouble and need help sometimes, and thus a willingness to pay taxes and stand up for general social safety nets. If you could combine the two - that would be great!

[hellmuthschreefel]

For American wait staff it would seem to me that getting customers in and out as fast as possible, hence the hovering, quick removal of plates and quickly placing the bill on the table, means they might be able to make more tips that will help pay their rent, since the restaurant isn't paying them a living wage.

[renevaanhold]

Michelle: "as long as The Netherlands will have us"

Oh dear, that means forever! 😄❤️

[amyspeers]

I’m an American living in France. My husband and I moved here in 2017. We love it. I am currently in treatment for melanoma. When I was diagnosed, my doctor filled out a form and I took it to my pharmacy and they logged it in. Everything is covered. I have paid €60 out of pocket. I was a nurse in the states and I love my healthcare here…not only because of the price.

[davidreuss]

I'm an American living in Denmark (been living here for 34 years now). I can totally relate to "reverse culture shock" whenever I go back to visit family in Washington DC and Maryland! My overall impression about the cultural difference between Denmark (as well as other European countries) and The US, is that in Denmark, it feels like people prioritize a feeling of security and safety over economy, and the kind of false "freedom" that is offered in The US.

Daily living issues, like getting around (transportation), employment, and other financial issues, and social "fairness" and a lack of poverty make living so less stressful. So yeah, it would definitely be difficult for me to acclimate to living back in The US.

Come on up to Denmark if you're interested in cultural differences! It's just around the corner from The Netherlands!

[Yvolve]

I waited tables in the Netherlands and our way of doing it comes from not liking the small talk as much. We go out to dinner to have a conversation with the people at our table, no with the person serving us. It is really annoying to constantly get interrupted. As the wait staff is getting paid a fair wage, there is no pressure to get a good tip. Anything you get is an extra but there is not the stress of not being sure you're going to make ends meet. This way they can focus on efficiency, quality and service. The customer also doesn't feel ripped off. A good business can pay its people, otherwise it isn't viable to keep going.

Proper wages means staff are more relaxed, not trying to please you every 2 minutes and are not trying to be overly nice. For us, the wave or eye contact isn't awkward, unless you time it poorly. It also means the customer decides when to get the bill, which can be annoying as some people stay for hours. There are ways to get rid off them, by saying the table is reserved from a certain time, but bringing them the bill without being asked is not done.

Not better or worse than the American way, just a different way of doing it. I prefer the Dutch as I am Dutch, but I get why people would like the American style.

[Nitzpitz]

When traveling to the US, it is very much recommended to get travel insurance. This is not very expensive. You can also take a “doorlopende reisverzekering “. You pay a monthly fee and then all your trip are covered. This is much cheaper and is very handy, as you are traveling quite a bit.

[erikkastermans]

Ik ben blij en opgelucht dat jullie in Nederland blijven en ook filmpies blijven maken, ik kijkk er namelijk graag naar met veel plezier! 🙂

[robertcampbell]

Our daughter and son-in-law moved from Arizona to London in 2019. They will be making their first trip back to the US in March. They love their lives in the UK and have no plans to return to living in the US. They recently enjoyed a visit to Amsterdam. They are coming with a combination of excitement and trepidation.

[Linsmith]

I haven’t been in the Netherlands for many, many years but I still miss it. It was such a happy place for us.

[StartPlayFinish]

In Holland we typically dont calculate how much we tip. If you go to a restaurant and its 23, 10 we just say make it 25, - and thats it. We often just round it up to the next big number. You give them a tip and on top of that you save the store/restaurant having to deal with change (they're always short on change). If the service is really poor you pay what you're owed and dont come back.

[maaikemanheim]

When you showed the dutch cheese section I missed that we also have cheese in 2 different places in most shops. The prepacked cheese you showed but also cheeses in the 'fresh counter' where you can also find some specialty cheeses. Would you still better go the a cheeseshop if you want something special? Absolutely! But I personally don't think we have little choice in cheese in shops like Jumbo and AH.

[eyewaszero]

NL supermarkets also have specialty cheese sections. The reason why the packaged cheese section in the supermarkets isn’t that big is because that cheese isn’t that good. A lot of Dutch prefer the ‘fresh’ cheese

[sander_bouwhuis]

Great to have you in The Netherlands guys, you are more than welcome. It's always nice to see people being happy here.

[bookiemeow]

Fijn dat jullie in Nederland blijven! Jullie zijn toppers!