Why We Are Mean to Those We Love

Even people who are normally very nice tend to be, from close up within relationships, rather difficult and complicated. This shouldn't surprise us. There's simply nothing harder than trying to live alongside another human for the long-term. We should dare to understand the ways in which love makes us a little monstrous...

MORE SCHOOL OF LIFE

Watch more films on RELATIONSHIPS in our playlist:

SOCIAL MEDIA

Feel free to follow us at the links below:

CREDITS

Produced in collaboration with:

Avi Ofer

[mephistophelesthesilentchi]

I don't know what it is, but something inside of us has made us want to test the limits of unconditional love ever since we were children.

[ShantiDaGOAT]

"Paradoxically, love makes you feel safe enough to be horrible" deep.

[iamLucid]

The animations are so creative. I wonder how long it takes to think of these let alone animate them.

[ennuiblue]

we take them for granted too that they won't do anything. people aren't usually mean to strangers because they may react violently, so we take it out on the people who are always there

[Chatoyancify]

"Asking someone to love you and be with you is a pretty mean thing to suggest to anyone you really want the best for." This would be medicine for unrequited love if we realize that being with them would be pretty challenging too!

[Morenitto]

This made me cry thinking about all the times i was mean to my GF. This is 100% truth: we feel that love is a safety net and that out significant other will catch all of our emotional baggage. First, we have to know that we are difficult to deal with.

[eugen]

"asking for someone to love you is really mean" that's the best insult ever

[jodam]

Being mean to someone creates emotional distance from them and doesn’t take vulnerability like being kind does. It could be a tactic to not get too attached to another, in some cases.

[thetruthbetweenthelines]

We are mean to other people because we don't know how to react in certain circumstances so we go to default mode. Whenever in doubt, we don't see clearly that empathy is always the solution.
We are also mean to protect ourselves but, in general, it's from imaginary things, things we interpret.

[whatyousee]

correction: why are we mean to those who LOVE US?

[loc]

I often think people get mad at their partners about things they're afraid of finding in themselves. Not only because it makes them feel good to pretend they are not like that (and feel entitled to correct someone else for being messy/forgetful/lazy/not very smart/etc etc), but also because they feel their choice of partner (and their "subpar" qualities and personalities) reflect "badly" on themselves, and they are very afraid of other people's opinions.

[chocolatecream]

Ok... but everyone remember that there’s a fine line between being comfortable with expressing emotions and emotional abuse.

[cantbebless]

I believe my insecurities led me to be this way with those I love; me pushing people away is almost like a test in a way to see if they'll stay by my side no matter what

[reemhosam]

I can't even begin to describe how beautiful the animation is at 1:45...Very expressive and real. Aren't we all just scared confused children with the ones we love? And look how the other lover just took it very well and calmly. Made me feel warm and happy.

[legzfalloffgirl]

That's it! Next time my bf pisses me off, I'm throwing a fish!!!!😊

[MysticMD]

That is why i have realized that it is almost "non-sense" that I am trying to become a more compassionate with people at work, clients, etc, if i cannot even be patient with my my parents. it is crazy if you think about it when we try to help the homeless, help the planet, raise awareness about LGBTQ, migrants, etc, when we cannot even be compassionate to our own parents, or SO. think about it. isn't it hypocritical?

[allisonfang]

Don’t assume that we are easy to be around.

[david]

the problem is expectation, the closer the relationship with someone,
the bigger the expectations toward that particular person tend to be.
The question that entail afterwards, does expectation controllable? Is it truly obligatory, either morally or logically for someone to fulfill the other's expectation based on relationship weight?

[rea]

Because they (assuming they love us back) are the only ones who can take it 😂

[idylledoll]

Only people who aren’t happy with themselves and have a toxic mentality are mean to those they love. I treat the ones I love with kindness and respect.