Absurd Mission Objectives - Battle Plan

Sometimes does it feel like you're fighting the war all by yourself..?

[AlkisGD]

“You want me to do all this by myself?”
“You can heal bullet wounds by drinking water and can respawn if you get killed. Of course we're sending just you!”

[larspeterthomsen]

"Also, this is now an escort mission. Private King must survive"

[thepoppyman]

“James can you bring these ammo cases to the mg post?”
“Well of course si...”
“Also after I need you to capture Berlin.”

[maximecg]

"Sorry, what are you doing while I single-handedly win WW2?"

This is the line that sums up 99% of FPS games.

Great job!

[hammerandpickle]

"And by the way, we need you to do this in 10 minutes, otherwise you'd be caught in a allied bombing campaign" *timer appears in the top right*

[KonchikiNoYami]

you forgot:
Mission Update
"Your braindead meatshield allies must survive"
(optional: Your allies are unharmed)

[Warrior_Whitten]

“Sorry what are you doing while I single handily win world war 2?”. Every. Single. WWII game.

[thedonut]

I love how he says: "So that’s OUR mission today" and proceeds to send a 3 man group to fight a Quarter of the Wehrmacht

[JodhiWilliam]

wow a series where rowen ACTUALLY does everything.
that's a first.

[GWPunch]

Rowan: *Rage Quit*
Alan: YOU CAN’T JUST QUIT. YOU’RE THE MAIN CHARACTER!

[justinian-the-great]

"So is that all?"
"After you finish that, you'll have to infiltrate this Nazi secret facility run by Dr. Skeletor where you may or may not encounter 20.000 SS zombies."

[exeterra]

Generals be like: "Also, when you're done taking out all those German planes, how about you hunt down Hitler himself while you're at it private. Meanwhile we're waiting for you here at the camp."

[orurindriibjornsson]

"Sorry, what are you doing while I single handedly win world war 2"

[nikt]

basically every CoD game ever.
Mission Objectives:
>single handedly destroy the entire German army.
>Liberate france.
>ambush the "schwere Panzerabteilung" (german tank battalion)
>kill hitler.
>end world hunger.
>colonize Mars.
(optional: use only a knife)

[raulsaenz]

"And don't get detected or you will automatically fail the mission"

[catosicarius]

1st rule of FPS: You're a One Man Army

[moose]

You guys never fail to deliver, but I wasn't expecting this high of a production level. I'm genuinely impressed. Your patrons must be proud.

[energy]

“Shoot down the entire German luftwaffe”
still can’t stop laughing

[seanireland]

"Take out Army Group B and C"
"How many soldiers this that"

That killed me xD because:
"An army group is the largest field organization handled by a single commander—usually a full general or field marshal—and it generally includes between 400, 000 and 1, 000, 000 soldiers." Wikipedia on Army Groups.

[angrypotato_fz]

"On your way there, look out for hidden golden bayonettes. There are 25 of them. If you collect and bring them all, you'll get a special reward from our quartermaster" (a weapon skin)