Living in Sin - Dear Mom

Cristen hashes out the dos and don'ts of premarital cohabitation, as she announces to her mom that she's moving in with her boyfriend.

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[TimeandMonotony]

I would never get married to anyone before I'd lived with them. What if you hate how they kick in their sleep? Or how awful they are in the morning? So many things you learn about a person when you live with them that you would never have known until the marriage otherwise.

[MultiSupercow]

I think it's pretty obvious that the only reason the divorce rate is higher for couples who live together before they get married is because couples who don't are more traditionally-minded and less accepting of divorce, and therefore less likely to get one.  Those stats say nothing about marital HAPPINESS, which is what really counts. 
In India, where they have arranged marriages, the divorce rate is extremely low.  Is this because arranged marriages work out so well and the couples are so blissfully happy?  I don't think so.  It's because divorce is simply NOT AN OPTION for most people there, whether they want to stay married or not.  So they stay married.  I think it's the same concept, but to a lesser degree, for couples who do not live together before marriage. 
So, I think if you want to ensure true compatibility and happiness, it is essential to live together before making the decision to get married.  If you want to ensure you don't ever get divorced, marry someone who doesn't believe in divorce and resolve to stick together whether you like it or not. 

[rylraven]

My hubby and I lived together before getting married. We're having our 5th (wedding) anniversary in December and our relationship has only grown. I've seen stats on living together first, but they seem to also correspond with other ideas that appear to have religious backgrounds. If you grew up with the idea that premarital cohabitation (which means there is probably premarital sex as well) is bad or evil, and have not moved beyond the guilt of it, that's what is really dooming the relationship.

[selinalynn]

I would never ever agree to marry someone before having lived with them for at least a year. Oftentimes when you move in with someone you'll find that there are a lot of things about the other person that just annoy you and maybe there are even things that cannot deal with for the rest of your life. And just spending every night together is not enough to find out whether you're really compatible in the long run.

[samgrl]

Studies have shown that the correlation between couples living together before marriage and divorce is that one of the people in the relationship may be subconsciously living with one foot out the door and then once they tie-the-knot everything starts collapsing in on them. It's kind of the "Don't slide; Decide"  rule but instead of just applying to moving in together it also applies to getting married in the, "well we already live together and it would be cheaper with taxes and the security that sounds like it comes with marriage has always sounded appealing...we might as well". A good percentage of the all-too-many people getting divorced have 1) Gotten married too young, 2) Gotten married for the wrong reasons, or 3) Haven't known the person long enough (and also 4) The person you married, or you, have changed so significantly you just can't make it work and be happy) and cheating..gah, whatever. Just be mindful in your relationship, be honest with yourself and your partner about needs and wants, and you'll figure the rest out.

[NovelNovelist]

I tend to think of living together as a specific checkpoint on the road to marriage. Not to say that everyone who lives together ends up marrying, just that it surprises me if they get married BEFORE living together first. For me it's like:

Casual dating
Exclusive/serious dating
Living together
Engaged
Married

So I'm actually a lot more surprised when people who aren't living together announce that they're engaged.

[DementuRO]

4:18 nice burn "i never lived with someone i loved before" so you never loved your parents :))

[AnnikaK]

It makes a lot of sense to live together before one gets married. That is if the people living together even want to get married in the first place. I don't see how you're suddenly more committed to each other just because you've gotten married. It's not like personalities change because of marriage. I myself am probably not gonna get married, I'm not a religious person. My boyfriend and I are very committed to each other.

[marissabroussard]

this is probably the BEST video ever. <3

[manguy]

Not so much debunked as just listed and then detailed how they don't apply to you.

[kvxran]

I love how you use so many facts in your videos to prove your point

[cristenconger]

As I said in the vid, we want to move forward with the relationship, and this is the next step -- despite a lot of warnings that doing so could be dicey.

[marrisamatthews]

Did anyone take the "Don't slide, decide" thing the wrong way? No? Just me being my sick-minded self again? Okay.

[nomiclas]

Why are yogurt containers smaller at the top?

[ewancartwright]

I think the biggest insult to your mum there was actually the 'I've never lived with someone I've loved' part.

[catherder]

Do you have a blog about living in with your boyfriend?

[RebelAlliance]

"never lived with someone I've loved before" oooohhhh mom! are you ok?

[HerrSpuzzmacher]

Your parents should just be happy that someone actually likes you enough to want to move in with you. Most people aren't so lucky.

[jeepingneatus]

Good luck! Mom will love you either way.

[Artheila]

I've been living with my boyfriend for 4 years now and it's great =) We will probably get married before having kids, but it's mostly for legal reason and as a fun/nice thing and tradition. (It won't change much) My brother's been living with his girlfriend for 10 years and had two children without getting married, without that being a problem. It can get problematic when splitting up, but there are some other simple legal documents.