A Christian Response to 'Preferred Pronouns'

Should you use someone's "preferred pronouns" as a Catholic if they don't correspond to that person's God given identity? In this video we're gong to take a look at the issue of pronouns in our world and how you should respond as a Catholic.

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Social Media:

[admunlop]

This is really helpful. Recently, I had gotten into a debate over a video posted on my story with a close friend of mine. At the end of the debate, she got upset at me for not using her preferred pronouns ever since she announced them. I told her how I couldn't because of my faith and how I didn't want to lie to her about who she really was. She doesn't understand sadly and decided to drop the debate altogether. It hurt me, but I knew I had to stand my ground and I hope she knows I'm doing it because I care for her.

[airinkujo]

I feel very uncomfortable with this whole preferred pronouns. What do I say instead? I don’t want to comply with this ideology, but at the same time I don’t want to make people uncomfortable because I didn’t put my preferred pronouns when everyone else did. I really dislike how schools are forcing this onto students.

[samr]

Can you say what you believe the correct term to call someone who is intersex (i.e. having both masculine and feminine reproductive organs or secondary sex characteristics, having chromosomes not corresponding with either XX or XY, a group consisting of 1.7% of the world’s population) would be? If you believe that someone should be referred to with pronouns reflecting their physical body and someone does not biologically fit the definition of “male” or “female”, what are they to be referred to as?

[mr.s.thecatechist]

Great video! Thank you for this. Well said, concise, spoken clearly and with love. God bless!

[estebanlabulle]

as a pacifist linguist it is funny to see how deeply some people care about a couple of letters. Especially in a language that has so little gender in it.

[kakashiuchiha]

Thank you so much for the video. I teach middle school math and I work for a school system that requires teachers to use a students preferred name and preferred pronouns. If I have a student who has a different name or pronouns, I will call them by their chosen name (since students choose nicknames for themselves all the time) and just never use any pronouns with them (referring to them by name or "you" etc.). Would you think this is compatible with the church teaching?

[antoniomoyal]

Patience is to bear evil, that a good may reasonably cone out of it

[mlp]

I have a situation that is a bit more complicated to address, and it would love to hear guidance on it. I'll get right to it. I have a friend who has the children. Two girls and one boy. One girl is in college and the other two are twins. The boy twin feels that he identifies as female and now they are going through the transition process to chemically alter his genetics and block male puberty from progressing. I cannot agree with this but I don't really go into conversation about it with my friend, is a subject I don't get into. When she talks about that child I don't refer to pronouns, I refer to the nickname that he's adopted which is not noticeably male or female. I will catch myself if I start to say "he or him" and quickly refer to the nickname because I don't want to have a falling out or make them feel unloved. The family has had many hardships over the years and I value them as God's children. They are Jewish and I talk about Jesus to them often because I want them to learn about Him as the loving God, not some mislead peacher that they've been taught.
I don't encourage a friendship with my child and hers although they are on the same grade and we're close before this change began to occur. I tell my child to show kindness always and be friendly in school but when referring to the child, to use the nickname instead of the pronouns that they want. I don't want my daughter to grow up thinking it's ok to change what God created but I don't want her to be rude; It's a very fine line and nowadays everyone's offended with anything.
Any suggestion on how to address this among kids. These are 12-13 year olds. This is such a tender age.
Please help.

[zZjakZz]

Great video! Could you do a video on how to respond when someone asks what your preferred pronouns are? I’ve been in situations where I’m asked, and I don’t know how to respond effectively.

[xiaoqizheng]

Awesome video, that is the approach many should take, love and care is more important in this challenging situation

[waltb]

You're 3:30 mark is on point of the way I would approach the issue. Which is along the the lines of guiding to the truth. Honestly, sometimes it is challenging not to share that you are christian on the onset, but letting that be revealed similarly over time through living and listening in christian virtue.

[jaqian]

The problem now is that you can be sued for "misgendering" someone

[LongLiveLink]

The real problem with this approach, however, is that you seldom fully know what a person's sex is. Sure, a person can "appear clearly" as a man but they may actually genetically be a woman. They're are genetic and hormonal diseases out that there that cause confusion in both the person who has it and to those around them.
To me, the best approach is a mix of your story used in your book. It's best to use a preferred pronoun with a stranger and only approach the topic of morality if your relationship warrants it.
For example, with my best friend, although she is s Christian and married she is using birth control. Since I'm her best friend, I know my relationship is appropriate enough to discuss the logical dissonance in this decision. Additionally, i told her that I would only bring this up once and not badger her on it. I said I cannot see a grevious sin like this and not say anything, because you are my best friend, and I love you.
She totally understood and we had a good discussion from it. But if I had brought this up to a stranger, it would almost always be completely inappropriate and ineffective

[marthamuniz]

Could you please give us an idea as to what my kids should answer to their friends and teachers( catholic school) when they call them homophobic for not agreeing with homosexuality?

[ZZ-ywsh]

Nothing wrong with trying to patiently give this person a chance……but don’t think most cases turn out like the one you described. At a certain point you have to realize playing into their delusional is not showing love. Gods truth is love.

[zelie]

I will use whatever name a person gives me, but I don't use pronouns contrary to someone's biological sex. If someone really struggles with their mental health and cannot, or for some other reason I cannot use their real pronouns, I do not use pronouns at all. Instead, I just use their name.

[policraticus]

Really inspiring Christopher. Thanks for sharing such practical wisdom and insight

[thepunkrockchristian]

I want to begin with my love of everything I’ve seen from you. You’ve opened my mind in so many ways that I am so grateful for. However, I think that this issue is more complicated than you’ve presented. I have a M to F trans sister. I disagree with her and want her to realize how she’s just covering the pain instead of addressing it. However, if I don’t call her by her/she/her new name, I would never be allowed to speak to her or my older brother again and would lose the siblings that are so dear to me. She is 100% not interested in God, but if I’m still around I can guide her in the way of Christ without all of the “baggage”.

[rc]

No, I let all know I will not use their PPs because I refuse to play pretend with grown-ups.

[chissstardestroyer]

If you love another you never ever honor their delusions, as that man who presented himself as a woman was completely and utterly delusional about his DNA and what it was; if you love him as you ought, you condemn the delusion by addressing him as a him in that kind of case.