MIDERA | Vessel - Electronic IDM

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Today (7/22/23), when I made this track - was the 13th Anniversary of my Dad's death. My mom and I talked at length today about it. It's crazy to think about all the things I remember from that day and from the funeral - from watching his last breath to sitting in silence with my mom after everyone left after the funeral. We were just sitting there and it almost felt like it never happened. It was so strange.

13 years. It just kind of doesn't feel like the movement of time makes any sense. Those things feel like a few weeks ago, I have very vivid memories about them. But I don't actually remember things that happened a few weeks ago, normally. So odd what can stick in your head and why it does.

It certainly has been a wild ride this last month, my wife losing her job, our dogs fighting so bad that it required a $1200 emergency vet visit, and more.

And in my studio I've just not had much success. Moving gear around, hating everything I write. I think "maybe I just need it set up like this..." and a few days later I tear it down too. I used to do so much more, but I only had a few things. I expect 2012 results in 2023 - where I didn't have a family, kids, dogs, a house, a career... I am not complaining that I have them, but my expectations of what I'm capable of haven't changed, even though everything else has.

Now - I'm also stuck with so much gear I don't even like... Jupiter 6, Poly Evolver, JD800... they're cool, but do they add anything, like REALLY add anything to what I already have? No. They don't. The day I got the Prophet 10 in my studio was the day my music suffered. It was just a big, big synth that didn't take me where I wanted. I still have it, but even that is among the synths I'm not completely fond of, but feel like I should be. I think it's mostly in how much space some of these things take up relative to how much space I actually have. I sometimes think if I had more room, I'd make better use of them, but I don't actually think that's true. I just think I'd have more stuff stuffed in a bigger room.

Well, anyway, I managed to write something in the last two days. Here it is.

#idm #accessvirus #synthesizer

[MIDERA]

I wonder if anyone would want a video where I talk through making a track like this……

[zoltn]

You have such aa signature sound...always a joy when you post your music.

[sergemassa]

Yes Midera, very lovely music, i've apreciated a lot. Thanks for your comments about your life & Gears...

[zoltn]

" I think "maybe I just need it set up like this..." and a few days later I tear it down too." - FWIW I go through the same phases of this but find it cathartic. And this time I purged all the gear I wasn't using or going to use to focus on my music. Deep breathes, my friend.

[VultureCulture]

Sorry for your loss, that pain never goes away.

I know the feeling of having more gear than ever and having less inspiration than ever. Just know jams like these mean a lot to us!

[Pheonix]

Reminds me of the music from terminator (2?). Heavy yet sad, feels lonely. Love it.

[gattobus]

I'm sending a big hug to you my friend. Life is hard sometimes but you have music and talent on your side. Don't rely on synthesizers too much but only on yourself and your feelings. I'm looking forward to listening more amazing tracks like this! Best!

[machfront]

I understand despite all of my ‘gear’ being virtual (except the 20 years I played bass).
I did so much more when all I had was Reason 2.5 and an iMac G3 than when I had a powerful Win desktop with Reaper and scores of virtual instruments.
I’ve gone iPad 100% the past handful of years and though I love NanoStudio 2 and my few AUV3 instruments, I still get more done with the very simple Groovebox by Ampify. Heheh.

[willswitchcraft]

wow, wasn't quite expecting this great tones, ideas, love that simple main sound from the so nicely amongst the busy-ness of the other things going the 'drum n bass' video

[jon_gee]

❤beautiful piece!! I feel the emotion. I love your access virus work. Amazing how some gear can bog us down. Hope the best for you guys!! I’m always stoked to experience new work from you!!

[Heavenlylues]

Love this tune. Thanks for sharing. Sorry about the difficult times. We haven't chatted in a while and should catch up. This year has been a wild ride. I always appreciate your creations and always feel like they get better with time, even if you don't. You have so much talent and I'm glad your music is in my life!

[thesurgingmass]

Love this! Really love all of your work. Was excited to see this come across my feed. Hope you can get past any of the troubles you are experiencing and hope the best for you and your family!

[zobbo]

You’re one of the few Youtube synth people whose music I always enjoy, you and @substan. Sorry you’ve been having a rough time but you are very VERY talented and I hope you find your way forward soon.

[robbarfield]

Very sorry for your loss, Midera. It's been more than 13 years for me. Time doesn't heal all wounds; it gradually dulls them, but only to a certain extent. Spend time with your family. Play/compose when you feel like it, if forcing it isn't working. And hang in there!

[tiny_silver_hammers]

Sounds good🔥.. sending love homie! Stay with the grind you’ll get it back.. chase that sound friend-😎🍻❤️

[KosmicKitchen]

Good points on gear, space and creativity. YouTube is feeding GAS all the time, it’s hard to resist. I finally reduced my rig to what fits on my keyboard stand and sold the rest. I would still like a Jupiter though ;-)

[JC-bfzm]

I lost my mother, suddenly, 14 years ago. That event cast such a long and broad shadow that it still persists today. Losing a parent before their time is one of the suckiest piles of crap there is.

[universalvibe]

What is your sequencer box over to the left of the virus?

[dareklight]

The life of a gear slut. We torture ourselves with changing gear as if it were clothes only to eventually come to the conclusion that the few gems we already had were all we really needed.

[swanofnutella]

Don't let synth culture or "the scene" (groan) provide pressure to keep the instruments that don't speak to you. If the Prophet 10 isn't your jam, there is nothing wrong with that. Move it along. Move your Poly Evolver along to me. ;)