THE MOST FASHIONABLE FACTION | Animated Team Fortress 2 Song! [ft. Harry101UK]

In Valve's now iconic 'Team Fortress 2' they created the world's first War-themed Hat Simulator. Two teams of RED and BLU mercenaries battle it out across countless warzones with intense firepower and fine head-based tailoring. Somewhere behind all of this is some sort of deep conspiracy with two warring factions, corporate intrigue and muscular hirsute Australians. But really we know it's all about the hats.

Harry101UK and I have been talking about this project for YEARS but I actually wrote it before we'd even met, long before I was ever recording music. If memory serves, I'm fairly certain that this song was the first rap I ever wrote. The earliest recorded demo of this song dates back to 2016 but the lyrics had existed for at least 2-3 years before that.
Of course I've been back through and updated the lyrics a bit to reflect 6+ years of writing and music experience. (the old beat I originally wrote to was almost half the speed, so some lyrics had to be streamlined to make them say-able!) The Engy and the Medic got the biggest re-writes, because the Engy lyrics were a total tongue twister that was unsayable at this speed and because I'd actually already recycled the Medic's original verse to be used in my Surgeon Simulator song.

I moved house recently and knew I'd have to take several weeks off from working on videos to do so, so now seemed like the perfect time to resurrect this project and have someone else make a video for me for the first time. And who better than the magnificent Harry101UK? We'd been talking about the idea of doing this project for the longest time and I'm so grateful to Harry for stepping up and spending the last couple of months to make this incredible animation.

And I'm equally grateful to my amazing Patrons who funded the project! Thank you to every one of you. I'm immensely proud of this video and I'm thrilled to be able to share it with you all after so many years!

#TeamFortress2 #TF2 #SFM
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Check out the full Stupendium originals playlist for all of my original songs!

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Lyrics, and Vocals by The Stupendium
Animation and Soldier/Heavy vocals by Harry101UK
Beat produced by Pacific
Mixed by Oxygenn Beats

Source Filmmaker Workshop assets:
Enhanced Soldier model by Maxxy and Velly
Enhanced Spy model by Alaxe
Hipoly Pyro model by SediSocks, Murphy, Hecates and Game Zombie
Deathmatch Mercenary model by Maxxy
Pyroland props by wekateka and RedMser
Dispenser Screens by Pumkin and 'will eat for food'
Additional props from the Frontline! Community Update
Additional props from the Invasion Community Update

Team Fortress 2, its world and its characters are the property of Valve.

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The Stupendium is a musician, animator and content creator, creating weird, wonderful and usually incredibly nerdy songs and animations. Join them on their journey to obscure, niche internet stardom! They have some pretty decent videos, wonderful facial hair and a great sense of discomfort describing themself in the third person.

[TheStupendium]

LYRICS:

SCOUT:
Watch out! The scout's out and about.
Running around, bringing bonks right down on your scalp
Do you even know who you're talking to here?
I'm a streak of greased lightning, keep fighting for years
I'm a stunner, number one run and gunner
My beats bring the heat 'cause I'm a sweet double jumper
Your finger’s on the trigger but before you get to pull it
I'll take a sip of fizz and go whizzing past your bullets
I'm on it like a rocket on a course to freakin' pound ya
Call me Super-Sonic 'cause I'm running rings around ya
I'm a dab hand with a sandman
I'm the baddest in the badlands
I'm a speed freak on a kill streak
See a blur and then it's bang bang

DEMO:
I'm the Demo! Explosions are my M.O.
Tyrant from the highlands getting violent on the bellows
The only thing more volatile than me would be my ammo
I'll leave you blown to pieces while my piece is screaming blammo
Did this have whisky in or was it nitroglycerine?
I'll find out on the way out if I'm spouting flaming p*ss again
'Cause if I live another day my liver might go anyway
And I'd rather go in glory so in war I won't be giving in
I suffer for my art
I've got sulphur on the heart
This tartan Spartan's gonna tear you apart.
Fire shots at the Cyclops, it never ends well
Oh, they're gonna have to glue you back together in hell

SNIPER:
Zoom, red dot
Boom, headshot
Your head's got a new lead clot
Bring you to a dead stop, leave you with your head popped
Another target on the list that can be checked off
'Cause on a mission I am viciously efficient
My vitals just my rifle and a set of jars to p*ss in
When it comes to assassins you could say I'm high-calibre
Yanking my machete from your head like it's Excalibur
No mercy mercenary, I'll take you down like cattle when
My true forte's in 2Fort playing blood sports on the battlements
Spray your brain before you know what's happening
Safe to say, no way that you'll be wearing hats again

If you’re seeing red or you’re feeling blue
If you wanna bust caps and wear them too
If you like warfare in stylish headear
Well have we got the game for you
No there isn’t any greater
Military millinery simulator
We fight all day to find out who’s
The most fashionable faction in TF2

SOLDIER:
Listen up ‘cause I won’t say it again
You'd better not be sissies because war is not a game!
Unless of course it's war games, then I’m all for games
Hope you're keeping score because numerate I sure ain't!
I am good at fighting, ask Sun Tzu
I taught him all he knows in the art of Shovel Fu
Way back in ancient China when I met him one night
He said Soldier’s really cool and the best at winning fights
Now I win all the fight money wherever I go
'Cause my rockets go BOOM then you explode
Now, the army told me that I was crazy
But I wrote this song so I’m clearly amazing


SPY:
Gentlemen, it won't be gentle when
I sneak into your base and steal the faces of your helpless friends
Stealing your briefcase really was a brief case
You think you're smart but I have the intelligence
Be a man! Why do you have to die screaming?
I shoot you, take the loot and take my suit for dry cleaning.
I’m not cheating you ignorant swine
I creep in and sneak things right into your spine
When I fight with my butterfly it stings like a bee
So tonight tell your mother 'hi', give her a kiss from me
I'm debonair with deadly flair, I'm anyone and anywhere
The face your mother wakes to is the last you'll ever see

HEAVY:
I am heavy weapons guy
I make puny babies cry
Want to live? Rule one:
Don't. Touch. My. Gun.
May be slow, no need to rush ya
When i'm rolling with Natascha
Fill you dead with holes we crush ya
Leave you cold like snow in Russia.
That's puny gun! I punch more damage!
Chew you up for lunch like sandvich
Think you can outrun me? Prove it
I'd like to see you outrun bullet

If you’re seeing red or you’re feeling blue
If you wanna bust caps and wear them too
If you like warfare in stylish headwear
Well have we got the game for you
No there isn’t any greater
Military millinery simulator
We fight all day to find out who’s
The most fashionable faction in TF2

ENGINEER:
Howdy! The engineer’s in the field
Farm boy charm with a megaton yield
I’ve got a cranium laced with uranium
Dispense your offense with the weapons I wield
I'm hot stuff, ‘cause I’ve a hundred degrees
So if you boil my blood you’ll get burned on Steam
I'm over qualified to leave you nullified and tan your sorry hide
You'd better run and hide or die by my machines
Just a friendly Engy
Preventing entry with a deadly sentry
Each practical problem I solve, my skill mounts
The only thing higher than my IQ is my kill count

PYRO:
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire!
Emboldened scolding folds of red and gold are my desire!
Its my sacred duty, keep the beauty burning higher
Leave you dismembered in the embers, every felling swells the pyre!
I'm a terror from the nether, something that you've never seen
With a charcoal soul, heart pumping kerosene
You've met your match you'll be a charred patch on the floorboards
I'll strike a match and strike the match off of the scoreboard
What's it matter if my brain's deranged when I snuff you out?
Boy, does it look lovely out! Candy canes and fluffy clouds!
Racking up the kills as I’m cranking up the grill
Easy to blow you away when you're just powder


MEDIC:
Got a little headache? You'd better call the Medic!
Were you wanting anesthetic? Really don’t be so pathetic
That burning is a bird within your sternum that snuck in whilst I was working
But I think a bloody dove is quite a lovely aesthetic
You grazed your knee? Well it seems to me
You need invasive exploratory surgery
See I may have a little uncertainty
Between patient, Specimen? It’s a blur to me.
Get the point of my syringes at your hiney
I’ll Übercharge and buff you 'til you're shiny
I could fix you quick with my medi-gun
The procedure is painless but that’s no fun…

If you’re feeling blue or you’re seeing red
If what’s on your mind’s what’s on your head
Who wants to battle
When there’s catalogues of hats to browse instead?
It’s not how far you push the cart
What matters is the noble art
Of dressing heads in dandy threads
To wear whilst you are blown apart

If you’re seeing red or you’re feeling blue
If you wanna bust caps and wear them too
If you like warfare in stylish headwear
Well have we got the game for you
No there isn’t any greater
Military millinery simulator
We fight all day to find out who’s
The most fashionable faction in TF2

[anondescriptbullet]

"i'm hot stuff, cause i've hundred degree's"
this is annoyingly clever

[ILOVEROOTBEER]

The line "the face your mother wakes to is the last you'll ever see" is the epitome of spy's character

[factual-fantasy]

1:05 THE DETAIL OF SPY NOT BEING CAUGHT YET ONLY FOR HIM TO SNEAK UP BEHIND SNIPER LATER-

[MikelRivera-cxvq]

As a Engineer main I must say ENGINEER HAS ABSOLUTELY TIGHT BARS 3 years and this still hits

[charrcoal]

“Stealing your briefcase really WAS a brief case!” God, that’s clever.

[ComicalRealm]

The range of voices Stupendium has up his sleeve is just mind boggling

[BloodestoneCat]

I love that compared to everyone else's verse, Soldier's has an "I'm just happy to be here" vibe. It captures his personality perfectly, just like the rest of the classes

[plussygold]

-amazing animation
-voices are on point
-references are amazing
-no line is wasted
What a masterpiece

[Shrekonbluray]

The soldier voice was so good that it almost made me cry hearing his voice again.

Rest in peace Rick May.

[MaskedButcher]

"You think you're smart but I have the intelligence"


Well that was a genius pun

[Knightedskull]

I mained Engineer for the first 10 years of TF2 with highest single-life kill count of 114.
Massive Approval of the Engineer's part of the song <3

[Koda]

"If i live another day, me liver may go anyway!" gotta be the best line in this. im literally dead.

[derphunk]

“Soldier’s really cool, and the best at winning fights.”
-Sun Tzu, the Art of War.

[quique]

The engineer part goes incredibly hard

[absolutenihility]

i love how the most replayed part in BOTH videos are the engineer rap lmfao

[BloodRaven]

Something I noticed is how Sniper’s verse is at a different tempo from the rest. It exemplifies how much he differs from the other classes

[NuclearRaven]

Fun fact:
While the "ancient china" part shows a person wearing Japanese armor, it's actually more accurate as Soldier has historically been shown to easily mix up countries within the same region.

[joshuamercer]

Pyro: *starts rapping*
The Entire Rest of the Team: "I don't know what the hell you're saying, but damn is it funky."

[SaltinemyBeloved]

I doubt anyone’s going to see this, since this song is a few years old, but as a TF2 veteran and long time fan I wanted to say I love the detail that each section of three has 1 class from each “classification” Offense, Defense and Support. I don’t know that this was intentional but it’s a seriously cool detail